Za dobar deo planete fudbal je kao religija a ljubav prema klubu ili igračima je neka vrsta neraskidive ljubavne veze. Navijači najčešće vole i prate svoj lokalni klub, koliko god on veliki Ili mali bio. Na ovim prostorima se većinski navija za Zvezdu, Partizan, Dinamo, Hajduk, Sarajevo ili "Želju".
Mnogi kažu da je raspad Jugoslavije počeo na fudbalskim stadionima a danas, 25 godina posle početka ratova, fudbal i strast prema jednom britanskom klubu ponovo okuplja navijače iz zemalja bivše Jugoslavije.
Notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán has been extradited to the United States, Mexico's government said Thursday evening, less than a day before Donald Trump's presidential inauguration.
Mexico agreed to the transfer last year under the condition that Guzman wouldn't receive the death penalty. He faces numerous charges including drug trafficking, murder, and money laundering in states throughout the US.
The leader of Mexico's Sinaloa cartel became a worldwide phenomenon over the course of the past two decades thanks in part to a series of elaborate escapes from maximum security prisons.
He had been held in the border city of Ciudad Juarez.
This story is developing. Check back on VICE News for updates.
"This is a world that is run mostly by HIV-negative people, and they're focused on protecting their own interests," Bruce Richman tells me. He's the executive director of Prevention Access Campaign, a multi-agency initiative working to end HIV and HIV-related stigma, and he's referring to the world of HIV prevention and treatment, where for the last few years, public attention has been fixed on pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).
PrEP is an HIV prevention method where high risk, HIV-negative people take virus-fighting antiretroviral drugs and see up to a 99 percent decrease in their chances of getting HIV. It's an exciting innovation, especially for the HIV-negative; CDC researchers have predicted that expanding the use of PrEP could prevent 17,000 new infections by 2020. As a result, HIV prevention programs across the country have gone all-in on pervasive publicawarenesscampaigns and treatmentaccessprograms over the past few years. Which is fantastic, but as Richman warns, "I think it's short sighted to think that PrEP is the best way to protect their own interests."
Another treatment strategy exists that's potentially ten times as effective as PrEP, but it's getting much less of the limelight. Known as treatment as prevention (TasP), it involves HIV-positive patients getting their viral load (or the number of copies of HIV measurable in their blood) below levels detectable via testing. When that's achieved, multiple studies have shown that it's almost impossible to transmit HIV to uninfected sexual partners. The CDC predicts that if 80 percent of people living with HIV were to achieve an undetectable viral load through antiretroviral therapy (ART), it could prevent about 168,000 infections by 2020.
The message that Richman and the Prevention Access Campaign have been trying to promote is that HIV-positive people who have been undetectable for at least six months and adhere to treatment pose negligible to non-existent risk in transmitting the virus to others. That's why TasP is so effective. And for the last year and a half, they've been behind a public awareness campaign promoting TasP called "Undetectable = Untransmittable."
The principles behind TasP have been proven with two studies: The HPTN 052 trial and the PARTNER study. The final results of HPTN 052 were reported in 2015, showing that ART was 93 percent effective in preventing the transmission of HIV. Although that's not 100 percent, the eight cases where participants had contracted the virus happened in instances where the infecting partner wasn't undetectable. In the PARTNER study, which enrolled 548 straight and 340 gay male serodiscordant couples (with one undetectable HIV-positive and one HIV-negative partner) who had penetrative sex 58,000 times without a condom, not a single negative partner contracted the virus from their partner.
In 2011, the last year a nationally-representative sample was surveyed, the CDC reported that 30 percent of people living with HIV under medical care had achieved viral suppression. That's 50 percent shy of what's required to potentially prevent 168,000 new infections by 2020. here are many reasons why less than half are virally suppressed: Some people develop drug resistance that prevents them from achieving viral suppression, or experience unbearable side effects that prevent them from adhering to medication. Treatment barriers related to racism, discrimination and criminalization prevent others from receiving adequate care.
Sometimes, it's just a choice, too. Richman, who has been living with HIV since 2003, didn't go on treatment when first diagnosed; he waited until he got sick in 2010 because he didn't want to take the medicines and was in denial about having the disease. "[TasP] is an important incentive," he explains. "I absolutely would've started therapy back in 2003 if I'd known that I could not transmit the virus if I was undetectable."
Richman says there are only three major awareness campaigns promoting TasP: One from the homelessness and HIV/AIDS-advocacy organization Housing Works called The Undetectables, one from the NYC Health Department called Stay Sure, and the Prevention Access Campaign. A number of other organizations, such as the Human Rights Campaign, the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and others, have also signed on to spread the gospel about undetectability and TasP. But the number of campaigns with TasP messaging is eclipsed by the sheernumber of PrEP-focused campaigns nationwide.
"I've seen funding go towards PrEP, and reluctance to fund programs that promote the full benefits of viral suppression," Richman tells me. "Funders don't want to do something that's risky. We were told by one foundation they wouldn't fund us because they were concerned about being sued."
Indeed, TasP is a hard pill for many to swallow. For those who saw the emotional scars left by the AIDS crisis and taught the necessity of condom usage for years, adjusting to the idea that it's okay to have condomless sex with virally suppressed HIV-positive people will be hard. Even though the science is there and sound, it's clear from the disparity in awareness programs that, at least for now, people prefer to fund and pursue PrEP over TasP at the public level. But the reluctance to promote TasP betrays the larger social stigma we still carry about HIV—a stigma that TasP programs themselves work to undo.
Richman says that a major goal of undetectability awareness campaigns is to educate healthcare professionals, many of whom he says will only tell their patients about TasP on a case-by-case basis, based on factors such as their sexual identity, relationship status, level of promiscuity, and whether they believe they're capable of adhering to treatment. Some doctors may cite the theoretical risk as their justification or claim that they fear such information will discourage condom use and drive up STD transmission rates, fears some doctors also cite about promoting PrEP.
"They're hindering prevention efforts, because when you continue to promote stigma, you continue to promote that people with HIV are dangerous," Richman said. "People are less likely to disclose, people are less likely to get tested, less likely to go on treatment."
All that said, people living with HIV are not a prevention tool, nor should they be treated as such—ART is the tool, and TasP is the strategy. Their benefits are in everybody's best interest, not just those who are HIV-negative.
"The understanding that treatment is prevention, and that treatment stops the transmission of HIV is an incredibly important prevention tool," he said. "The most effective prevention tool we've ever had."
Do you drink too much? I do. Not quite enough to convince me to quit, but enough to treat the recommended weekly unit allowance – 14 units, AKA seven pints, AKA "Thursday" – with a sense of contempt. I have also taken drugs recreationally for a decade. Never the big kahunas – no heroin or crack, and I'm scared of acid – but everything else in peaks and troughs.
I never dwelt on it much until last year, when most of my favourite celebrities started dying. A thread that ran through many of the deaths was periods of substance use or abuse; from Bowie snorting so much coke he'd only consume red peppers and milk for sustenance, to Carrie Fisher's "coke nail" on the set of Return of the Jedi.
So seeing as it's January and there's nothing better than fear of an early grave to scare you into changing your habits, I called up a couple of experts to find out just what all the shit we put into our bodies is doing to our life expectancy.
SMOKING
(Photo: Pixabay)
"Of everything we're going to talk about, the single most significant thing that people could do is quit smoking," says Dr Adam Winstock, a consultant psychiatrist, addiction medicine specialist and founder of the Global Drug Survey, who seems seems to have a more intuitive grasp of my drinking and drug-taking than I do. "All the other health risks you have from the other substances increase by 50 percent if you smoke."
But let's say you don't smoke – according to Adam, 85 percent of us now don't – but you like a joint on those nights you aren't drinking. "One spliff rolled with tobacco is two-and-a-half to three cigarettes," says Adam. "I'd say the best thing that people who smoke weed can do is to get yourself a vape. Enjoy the weed without tobacco – that would be a huge thing to do."
ALCOHOL
"From a purely physiological point of view, alcohol is really linked to a lot of problems," says Harry Sumnall, Professor in Substance Use at the Public Health Institute. "The majority of deaths due to alcohol are due to alcohol-related cancers, and of course the risks will be increased with length of exposure."
"If I was in my early thirties and I was drinking 30 units a week," adds Adam, "I'd be thinking, 'If I continue, is this likely to significantly impact my health and well-being?' As a doctor, I would say yes. It will have quite possibly impacted on things like increased cholesterol, increased risk of a fatty liver, accelerating heart disease. For women, one in ten cases of breast cancer is alcohol-related."
So that's cleared that up then.
"Then loop in other risk factors," he continues. "If you're overweight and you smoke and you've got a poor diet, you whack all of those problems up hugely. If your mum or dad has had high blood pressure or a heart attack or strokes, then yes, you were born with it, you are more vulnerable to it and need to be careful."
But what about Dry January? I did ten days this year! I got a new perspective on life! I joined a reading club! I followed Joe Weeks on Instagram!
"The issue with Dry January is that most of the data suggests that the people who benefit most from it are low risk drinkers anyway," says Harry Sumnall. "It's not going to make much difference if, from February onwards, you fall back into your chronic patterns of alcohol use. I think the advice should be, 'Well, you don't really need to have a month off, though if you do, that's good. But have two or three days off throughout the year – spread your Dry January days out."
"Another uncomfortable truth is that it also depends on your economic status," says Adam. "If you are middle class, you've got a roof over your head, you've got support, you've got a job, you've got other connections, you've got access to a GP if you feel unwell or feel shit about your health, you're going to be much more resilient to the negative effects of heavy drinking than if you were an unemployed 32-year-old."
COCAINE AND MDMA
(Photo: Jake Lewis)
"I would be much more worried about coke than MDMA," says Adam. "That's because most people use MDMA less than ten times a year and don't generally end up developing a dependence. Some of the risks that people aren't aware of with cocaine is that it can accelerate the development of the hardening and ageing of the arteries in your heart and in your brain, so, basically, that accelerates the risk of heart disease at an earlier age and increases the risk of strokes. This increases in your forties and fifties. But if you're someone who does half a gram of coke once a month and you do that for three years of your life, is that likely to have a long-term effect? Probably not."
What about the prodigious level of drinking that tends to go hand-in-hand with taking coke?
"Well, of you take too much coke you're probably drinking too much as well," says Adam. "The postmortems on someone like George Michael aren't out yet, but I think a lot of people who are dying in their fifties who aren't opiate users – they've just done coke for 20 years, there's increased risk of heart attack, you drink a lot, your heart packs out. Honestly and truly, the general rule is: everything in moderation. Move a bit more and eat a bit less. Don't inject or smoke anything, because that is way more risky. If you want to play with excess, fine, but do that in moderation as well."
Congratulations! You've probably reached this page because it's 3AM and you're googling self-help advice and some variation on the words: Am I dead? Has this broken heart stopped my blood from working?
Good news: you are not dead. Bad news: you are very much going through a break-up, which means the next week to a month is going to be quite unpleasant. You'll struggle to engage on any meaningful level with other human beings; you'll need to see an actual doctor for a second opinion on that mole; you will believe, with absolute conviction, that this is it now: that your Saga Cruise years will just be you, alone, throwing Hovis at birds.
But don't fret: there's a template for you misery. When we lose someone close to us we go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Anger, in this realm, is where you unfollow your ex on every social media platform and then immediately regret it because you now can't refresh their Snapchat story every half hour. Depression is the mould on those six ketchupy plates by your door becoming sentient. Acceptance is finally washing those plates.
It's a rocky road to happiness, but get over yourself – it's a road that's been traversed before. Here is some tried and tested advice to help you along the way.
HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE IN THE MORNING
This sounds simple, but when you're truly hurting it's very easy to wake up, think, 'Fuck all of today,' go back to sleep, wake up again, call in sick, scroll through your ex's Instagram, willing ten new photos to suddenly appear, cry for a bit when they don't, go back to sleep, wake up again, have a deeply, deeply sad wank to whatever PornHub URL your browser auto-fills, put a hoody on, go to the pub and spend the rest of the day drinking vodka-mixers out of a pint glass.
This, clearly, is no way to live. Carry on like this and you'll get bed sores and cirrhosis. You need to get out. Rent a bike, swim in a pond, borrow a dog, talk to your mum – anything that will put some wind in your sails. If the only interactions you're having are with Domino's delivery guys you're going to feel this way for a long, long time.
GET A FRIEND TO CLEAR OUT YOUR PHONE
After one week – One Week, that is; not "when I'm ready" – ask a friend to wipe your phone clean of any emotionally-loaded photos, messages and videos. This must be a friend you trust, because they are going to see some blindingly close-up photos of your genitals and have to read the 100-text-long threads that descend into language so saccharine it could give you diabetes. It all has to go. All of it. And physical keepsakes, too; this isn't a Netflix documentary where forensically combing over old evidence might reverse the course of justice or bring to light something new. This is reality, where looking through an iCloud full of memories and clumsy iPhone sex videos just makes you feel empty inside.
DON'T FUCK THE FIRST PERSON WHO TRIES TO FUCK YOU
It's the first weekend of "freedom", the reality of your break-up hasn't hit home yet and an acquaintance catches wind of your singledom, sliding into your DMs the way Russia slid into Ukraine: aggressively. You're vaguely flattered. Best way to get over someone is to get under someone, right? It'll be like shaking an Etch-a-Sketch into a hard reset, only with slapping sounds. Go on then... just one drink…
This is a mistake. You do not know true sadness until you've gone home with a man because "it might be a good idea", realised they wear a kimono around the house, woken up to their snoring dad-bod and cried silently while trying to slip out from under their arm. By the time he's offered to make you "shakshuka" you will be shaking uncontrollably.
DO, HOWEVER, MAKE A 'BANG LIST'
Here's what you need to do: split the paper into three columns – "past fucks I might be able to revisit", "new people I vaguely know and might plausibly end up sleeping with" and then what we call "prestige pulls", AKA everyone you fancy who is famous but not famous enough to only sleep with other famous people: your Rita Oras, your Richard Bacons, that guy who was a love interest in a Rihanna video. The bang list is an abstract concept; you don't actually have to bang anyone on it, but it is a great way to remind yourself that other, hot, people are out there, whether or not they know you exist.
IGNORE 90 PERCENT OF YOUR FRIENDS' ADVICE
It turns out that your mates – your hilarious, smart, dragged you three miles to your bed that time you passed out in Lola Lo mates – are actually terrible at relationship advice. Mostly they just want to tell you what wrong about their relationship – "If he's already going out with his mates it means he's probably been gay all along" – or give you the platitudes normally reserved for fridge magnets and nans: "The fact he cheated means he's not ready for a relationship;" "If it's meant to be you'll get back together in the future;" "It's important to learn how to be on your own," etc, etc.
It's good to talk to people about how you're feeling, but it's also good to ignore everything they say.
DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR EX
Would you eat a perfectly raw chicken breast? Would you have a bath with a hairdryer? Before going into major surgery would you say, "Oh no, thanks, I think I'll waive the anaesthetic today because I'm feeling quite brave!"? No? Then why would you phone your ex at 10.38PM and cross question them about everyone they've slept with in the two weeks since you broke up, and was the sex better, and did they do the thing you know they like? When it comes to break-ups, it's not true that knowledge is power. Knowledge is misery. Knowledge is the thought of your ex climaxing in the loving embrace of Steve from her work. You really don't want knowledge.
BE PREPARED FOR THEIR PHONE CALL
Without fail, three weeks after the break-up, the former love of your life – who, at this point, is coming down and so is more pathetic than usual – will call you early on a Sunday morning and say they've made a terrible mistake. All you'll want to do, of course, is go round, wash their hair for them, make them pasta and watch Netflix until that little note pops up asking you if you're still alive.
But remember this: you know when you're quitting smoking they say three weeks is the point at which it starts to get easier – the point at which you've coughed up all the tar and are once again able to jog short distances without very nearly dying? Same rule applies to break-ups. Generally, it's around the three-week mark that life starts to get better, so don't get pulled back in. Stay at home and do whatever boring stay-at-home activities you do now you're single. Make your brown rice lunches and read The Week. And if you ever feel tempted, just think about your friend who's stuck in Groundhog Day break-up limbo with their awful, awful ex, and thank the moon and the skies that you are not them.
KEEP CRAZY BEHAVIOUR TO A MINIMUM
After all the "acting like the bigger person" and "taking the high road" it can be incredibly cathartic to give in to how you're feeling, screengrab your ex's most recent Instagram of them with some random and send it to them with caption: "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" Let me tell you from experience that they're only going to reply with something like: "It's my friend Ben… who you would have met if you came to his birthday instead of cancelling last minute because you were 'bloated'." Then they'll probably block you. So try to exercise some self restraint when you feel jealous. Hashtagging "micropenis" under all of your ex's photos or calling their mum for a "chat" is at best going to make you look childish, and at worst earn you a court order.
BUT IF YOU HAVE TO ENGAGE IN PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE, WIN
If you really do want make your ex as miserable as you are, instead of out and out harassment like the above, it's more effective – and, importantly, less traceable – to stir up a constant sense of dread deep within them through calculated socialising and social media manipulation. Post an Instagram of you and another one of their exes going for a drink with the caption "catching up". Change your Facebook profile picture to something a bit booby that is going to get 4 million likes (which your ex will interpret as 4 million people wanting to sleep with you). Take a photo of a tree and location tag it in the hometown of the childhood sweetheart your ex was always jealous of. Be smart. Be a winner.
DON'T PRETEND YOU 'NEED TO DO A STUFF SWAP'
There is absolutely no circumstance under which "a stuff swap" is anything other than an excuse to see one another. On neutral ground, where no one fancies welling up publicly, it's just a perverse reenactment of the break-up you literally just had. If you really, truly need that cheese plant back, consider sending an Uber and an invoice, or setting up a PO box.
IF YOU RUN INTO YOUR EX, TRY TO KEEP CALM
For incredibly obvious reasons. But in case it needs explaining: screaming and crying and hiding is Not a Cool Vibe.
BEWARE OF USING THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DATE 'NEW KINDS OF PEOPLE'
Slowly and surely you'll find yourself ready to move on, and it's only natural that you'll want to steer clear of people who look like your ex's doppelganger; no one wants to have relationship PTSD on a Monday night B@1 date. But be warned that drastically changing your "type" isn't necessarily a good idea, either. You might think you want a change, but when you starting meeting up with men who are pointing at the camera in their Tinder profile picture, or wild-eyed girls who describe themselves as a "free spirit", you will quickly discover that "not-awful" and "vaguely self-aware" were your dating criteria for a reason.
Hello and welcome to Inauguration Day, the day Donald actual Trump gets sworn-in as President of the United States. Sometimes I sit and marvel that the events of 2016 actually happened – can you believe, truly, that Leicester City won the Premier League? That we voted out of the EU for no good reason whatsoever? Sometimes the information just hits me all over again out of nowhere and I am stunned into shock – and Donald Trump winning the US Election is, I'm afraid, still one of them. Donald Trump! President! There was a literal tape of him ho-hoing about sexual assault! He's essentially a very rich reality TV star with a deep fake tan, and that's it! This is like if we elected Gaz Beadle from Geordie Shore to be PM! And no disrespect to Gaz! But I wouldn't trust him with foreign policy!
Anyway, it's happening now. We need to face our mistakes. You know when you wake up, on a Sunday morning-cum-afternoon, and you know – you just know – that you made some embarrassing mistakes last night; you got too drunk, you did an appalling dance move in front of all your friends, you really publicly got off with someone, you sent those texts, oh god: but for one perfect little minute before the bomb explodes and you open your eyes and behold what you have done, there is this near-zen moment of peace? Your eyes are closed and you are cosy in bed and your senses haven't caught up enough to tell your brain what your mouth tastes like yet. And you know it's bad – you know it's going to be bad – when you open your eyes, but not yet, not yet. You know you're going to have to stare into the light and the abyss, too, but not yet. Not yet. This one's going to hurt. Not yet. But for now… just for now, just for a calm little minute. Just for now: enjoy the peace.
Your minute's up now, losers. Open your eyes. It's Donald J Trump inauguration day. Here's a drinking game to get you thru:
RULES:
1. Pour a drink
2. Drink from it when something detailed below happens???
3. Obviously????
4. Top the drink up when it's empty???
TAKE A SHOT: TRUMP WEARS A MASSIVE BLACK OVERCOAT WITH A FUR-LINED COLLAR
Just an easy one to start us off. Just an easy little starter shot, loosen the pipes. D.C. in January is cold, man. Every President since time went back opted for a slightly overlarge black wool overcoat. That's almost certainly what Trump is going to wear. But… but. I just can't help but feel he's going to try and defy convention with a slight flourish on it. A little black fur collar, a little wink to Putin. A little extra laughing-insane-millionaire gloss on an otherwise functional coat. If he does: shot. If he doesn't: still shot.
SHOT(S): THE CAMERA WHIRLS TO MELANIA AND SHE JUST FREEZES UP AND LOOKS BOTH WILD-EYED AND SERENE IN THAT WAY ONLY SHE CAN
Melania's sort of placid-terror compound facial expression is actually iconic, imo – the perfect emotion for 2k17 – and I won't hear anything otherwise. (You can downgrade this one to half a shot per instance if you like, because it's going to happen a lot and it's going to be a long day / evening).
SHOT: EVERY TIME HE DOES THAT DELICATE, LITTLE FINGER-UP HAND GESTURE WHILE MAKING A SPEECH
Been staring at that hand gesture he does for months now and I still can't quite figure out what it looks like. It's… it's like he's trying to dip fondue while getting as little cheese on his shirt cuff as humanly possible. Trying to pull a length of floss that is inexplicably lodged in a distant wall. What's he doing with those hands? Like he's unfolded a coat hanger and he's trying to hook his keys up from a coffee table a few feet away. Draw a circle on a whiteboard with a slightly-too-long pen. I don't know. I don't know what the hand gestures are about – light as air, delicate, like an orchestra composer plunged into a swimming pool – but he does them a lot and you're going to need to sink a shot for each. You might want to go get a glass of water for when he starts his speech.
SINK YOUR DRINK: DONALD TRUMP SOMEHOW CROWBARS THE WORD 'TERRIFIC' INTO THE CONSTITUTIONAL OATH
These ancient words, these words chanted and repeated by the most powerful men in history, dotted now with three "terrifics" and one "amazing". If they make him start again and do it properly then you have to sink the bottle.
SHOT: THE WEIRD CULT STAND-UP AND CHANT SEGMENT THAT WILL INEVITABLY HAPPEN
Minutes after DJT gets sworn in I just feel like loads of blue-eyed people will stand, stare to the heavens and chant wicked words in support of Trump – eerie, the words, in unison – while a strange glowing light envelopes their heads. Hundreds of them, the people, thousands. Don't ask me why! I just feel like a devil-powered army of Trump supporters will make themselves known at this one. Don't ask me why! "HAIL CHIEF TRUMP," they are saying, "GREAT AND HONOURABLE RULER!" Don't ask me why! Just take a shot when it happens!
SHOT: A FREAK GUST OF WIND PEELS TRUMP'S COMPLEX HAIR LAYERS ENTIRELY BACK IN ONE FELL SWOOP, REVEALING HIS HAIRLINE – STRONGER THAN IMAGINED – AND THE TRUE STATE OF HIS SCALP – A HELLSHOW – ALL AT ONCE. IMMEDIATE IMPEACHMENT.
Take a shot for this one!
SINK YER GUINNESS! MICHAEL FLATLEY DANCES HIS FEET OFF THEN TAPS ON THE STUMPS
I am just fascinated by the idea that – after searching the globe, after being turned down by every legitimate artist and some illegitimate ones too (I mean, Rebecca Ferguson off The X Factor said no, like, a Bruce Springsteen covers band said no) – that whoever was in charge of entertainment plumped for this really enthusiastic drummer guy and Michael Flatley, wizened old Lord of the Dance. And Flatley is going to tap. Oh Lord, Michael Flatley is going to tap for you. He will move his feet so fast it will click your head off. He will tap so hard he will injure himself. He'll tap through the injury. Bits of Flatley breaking off in clumps. Still he taps on. Still he taps on. Take a shot.
SHOT: LONE EAGLE FALLS OUT OF THE SKY, DEAD
How did it die? Scientists can't explain. How come it's curiously unbloodied corpse landed so close to Trump? Statisticians running data models cannot figure it out. Did any of the FBI gunmen on the roofs of D.C. see it coming? They did not. Listen: all we know is the eagle fell out of the sky – enormous, the eagle, and dead – and now you have to do a shot.
SHOT(S): WHEN BARRON LOOKS REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF
I can't quite decide if Barron Trump is a Damien-from- The-Omen type haunted child dead set on killing us all or just some smooth-faced kid who is really, really freaked out by this whole thing, essentially the only voice of reason left within the confines of the White House. It's really hard to tell just by looking at him. Evil or innocent? Innocent or evil? Right now I'm leaning towards innocent, you know. I am surprised too.
But then, it's early days. He is ten. You think in half a decade Barron Trump won't be the most evil Yung Conservative in the world? Come on. He's called Barron Trump, for Christ's sake. He's going to spend the next four formative years living in the White House with Donald Trump. If you think he won't come out of this experience as a cold-eyed frog killer, his school's greatest rich bully, then you are wrong. Barron Trump – the Barron Trump of 2020, the year of our eventual demise – is the real threat to this planet and the shaky peace we have across it. He's the one we have to watch out for. He's the one who's going to learn all the secret corridors and backrooms of the White House and smoke weed in them.
Anyway, for now, as mentioned, he is ten. And I remember being a ten-year-old boy, and anything that isn't a Gameboy is boring. Standing (standing!) through an endless, four-odd hour ceremony where a load of people tell your dad how good he is? No. Watch for Barron. There is no doubt that an NBC camera will grab a shot of him looking entirely, entirely pissed off and bored, and a photo of this will be the emerging meme of this inauguration. Take one shot for the first burst of Barron pictures on the timeline, and an additional shot each time you see a tweet you first saw three hours ago reposted by a meme account on Instagram.
FREESTYLE ROUND: YOUR BOYFRIEND DOES A 'MISSING OBAMA ALREADY' TWEET, 1 RT 6 FAVS
Take two shots then dump him by text!
FREESTYLE ROUND: YOUR GIRLFRIEND SAYS 'OBAMA IS BAE' AND TRUMP IS 'PROBLEMATIC'
Just distract her by saying there's a new Sherlock fan-theory on Tumblr she should check out, pour three beers directly into your body and do not pass go.
FREESTYLE ROUND: TRUMP USES EXACTLY ONE WORD THAT HITLER USED ONCE IN A SPEECH AND TWITTER ERUPTS
Oh, he's said "power", and Hitler said that once in 1939. Some nerd has already got 1K+ RTs from pointing it out. Close your laptop lid and go crack a beer.
FREESTYLE ROUND: ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THESE THINGS HAPPEN AND I AM FULLY EMBARRASSED AS A RESULT
Sink two shots then come find me at my office and fight me, you fraud! Bring your friends! I'll fuck you all up!
Adulthood. Your parents warned you about it and your studies tried to prepare you for it, and yet, it wasn't really enough was it?
That's the impression I get. And by impression, I mean, "that's exactly what I established when I asked other adults the most pathetic, immature thing they've done." Because everyone has a story. No one properly shakes off the last dregs of childhood and at heart, we are all spiteful little, tiny children. Here are a few people around Melbourne to back up that claim.
Eloise, 21
VICE: What's the most immature thing you've done recently? Eloise: I have a knack for taking things that are not mine, especially taking things from my housemates when I could just go buy things myself or use my own things.
You're the worst kind of housemate. Oh my god, I know. I think they hate me. It's January, but I only met them at the start of the year.
So what do you take? I take everything from shampoo to conditioner, and any kinds of food. I can be very petty as well. If one day they're like "hey mate, I'm getting pretty sick of you not cleaning down the stove after you cook," I'll intentionally not do it. It's not that often and I am getting better, but yeah I can be a bit immature at times. I always say to myself I'll replace things next week, but next week never really comes.
Are you proud of your pettiness? You sound proud. Yeah. A little bit. Sometimes pettiness gets you where you want to go and sometimes people hate it. A lot of people hate it. Being petty to me is intentionally doing stuff that is going to bother other people but really, in the end, it's going to bite you in the ass. Realistically, it's what I'm doing—it has no benefit for me, I'm just doing it because it feels good.
Joey, 27
What's something you have done recently that made you think "wow,that was pretty immature."? The most immature thing I've done recently was making an argument with my girlfriend out of nothing. I mean, I just wanted her to see if she actually cared about me or not.
So it was a test of... love? We haven't been together for long, like a month or some shit. But still, I had to know. It wasn't fabricated or anything—I made something small into something big. I wish it was something like not washing the dishes, but I'm too embarrassed to say what it was.
What was it? No, I can't.
Did it make you feel better or worse? I don't know, I'm still trying to work that out. We'll figure it out, I'm sure. It was just something small and you know relationships, we do little things to each other to get attention and affection.
So it's still going on? Man, you're 27. Just send her a text and make up. Oh yeah, I mean, I could. I could do that. Or not.
Anna, 28
Has there been a moment this year that you have acted like a child? Like a child? I am like a child in almost everything I do. Look at my art! I always get into the imagination of myself as a child. feel I must always remain childish to be inspired, to be creating.
Totally. Your work is very playful. Like my housemate says, "babe, it's all good!"
Sophie, 30
The year is still young, but have you done anything immature lately? It was probably over New Year's. I spent it in a karaoke den dressed up as a Power Ranger. I was the yellow ranger. The costumes were provided, which was great. I was in Japan and all the karaoke places have costumes, so you just let it all out.
Why do you think karaoke is immature? I guess it's just not something you're necessarily not expected to do in your day-to-day life. So dressing up all night was great: a good kind of immaturity. We had the room for a couple of hours and I got to hit up Spice Girls. My standout performance was "Wannabe."
June, 19
Has there been a moment lately when your judgement has lapsed as an adult? Oh yeah, I did something immature the other night. My friend and I went out and we were trying to find caps. The guy was quite suss-looking and I will say, they were not what we were hoping for.
What were they? When we looked at the caps, we were pretty sure they were synthetic. I should have been more conscious of that, but I took one. The high was good, but the comedown was horrible. I mean it was nothing like I've experienced before. I got incredibly moody, just all over the shop.
Did you know there's a bad batch of drugs going around Melbourne right now? We saw Revolver Upstairs post about the poor drug quality over the weekend, with a lot of people going to hospital. Yep, taking that cap was immature.
Estávamos num dos pontos mais altos da Cordilheira dos Andes, cercados por um anel de sessenta e seis gigantes brancos. Do outro lado das janelas do prédio baixo e comum que nos abrigava, víamos imensas antenas de rádio espetadas no solo vermelho do árido Planalto de Chajnantor e, no azul limpo do céu, pratos circulares pairavam nos ares.
Estamos no Atacama Large Millimeter Array, também conhecido como ALMA — um dos maiores rádio-observatórios do mundo, construído graças à uma parceria internacional que envolve quatro continentes. Na primavera de 2017, o observatório, junto de oito outros telescópios espalhados pelo mundo, irão se voltar para o centro da Via Láctea, localizado a cerca de 25.000 de anos-luz da Terra, na tentativa de capturar a primeira imagem de um buraco negro. Essa tentativa faz parte de um ousado projeto chamado Event Horizon Telescope (também conhecido como EHT).
Public school teachers, welders, roofers, boy scouts, entrepreneurs, and zealous conservatives streamed into Washington, D.C. from around the country this week in hopes of catching a glimpse of the swearing-in of the 45th president.
Trump's America, or "real America" as many of them called it, came to the much-derided swamp wearing bright red "Make America Great Again" hats to celebrate "real change" for ordinary people.
Trump echoed those same words Thursday evening in brief remarks at his Make America Great Again concert at the Lincoln Memorial. "We all got tired of seeing what was happening," he said. "And we wanted change, but we wanted real change"
In two dozen interviews with Trump supporters visiting the nation's capital for the inauguration, a consistent vision of that change began to take shape. More than any other issue, these die-hard supporters expressed their hope that Trump would follow through on his promise to impose term limits on members of Congress. "A lot of politicians come here meager and leave millionaires," said Jamey O'Donnell, a 59-year old roofer from the Denver-area.
That money and power has created a government with an attitude of "you take what we give you," said Darryl Mitchell, a state tax auditor from North Carolina.
In Trump's America, such elite technocracy does not sit well. "The concept that there are only 535 people smart enough to run the federal government is abhorrent," said Danny Shields, a 63-year-old public elementary school teacher from Bloomington, Indiana.
Λίγες ημέρες μετά τα ακραία καιρικά φαινόμενα που έπληξαν την Ελλάδα και βύθισαν στο χιόνι τους καταυλισμούς των προσφύγων εγκλωβίζοντας τους σε απάνθρωπες και επικίνδυνες συνθήκες, οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα απαντούν στα πιο καίρια ερωτήματα που δημιουργήθηκαν, και το συμπέρασμα είναι φυσικά ένα: «Είναι ντροπή η εικόνα που βλέπουμε σήμερα στους καταυλισμούς»:
VICE: Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα ανέδειξαν τις τελευταίες ημέρες τις τραγικές και ανεπαρκείς συνθήκες διαβίωσης των προσφύγων σε καταυλισμούς σε σκηνές μέσα στο χιόνι, τον πάγο και τη λάσπη, χωρίς νερό και θέρμανση. Ποια είναι η εικόνα που έχετε; Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα: Πράγματι, εννέα μήνες μετά τη συμφωνία ΕΕ-Τουρκίας και το επίσημο κλείσιμο της οδού των Βαλκανίων, χιλιάδες άνθρωποι εξακολουθούν να ζουν κάτω από άθλιες συνθήκες σε όλη την Ελλάδα. Είναι εκτεθειμένοι σε θερμοκρασίες ακόμη και υπό το μηδέν, ενώ είναι αναγκασμένοι να μένουν σε ανεπαρκή και απαράδεκτα καταλύματα.
Οι ελληνικές Αρχές ανακοίνωσαν ότι οι συνθήκες έχουν βελτιωθεί και ότι οι προετοιμασίες για τον χειμώνα ολοκληρώθηκαν. Δεν συμφωνείτε; Οι ελληνικές Αρχές έχουν υποσχεθεί εδώ και μήνες να βελτιώσουν τις συνθήκες διαβίωσης στα νησιά, ωστόσο πολύ λίγα έχουν γίνει. Η νέα χρονιά βρήκε τους ανθρώπους στα νησιά να εξακολουθούν να ζουν σε απάνθρωπες συνθήκες, και μάλιστα σε θερμοκρασίες υπό το μηδέν. Παρόλο που τα πιο ευάλωτα άτομα υποτίθεται ότι θα μεταφέρονταν στην ηπειρωτική χώρα πριν από μερικές εβδομάδες, πολύ λίγα έχουν γίνει από τότε. Σήμερα, πολλές οικογένειες με νεογέννητα και μικρά παιδιά εξακολουθούν να μένουν σε σκηνές με πολύ χαμηλές θερμοκρασίες κατά τη διάρκεια της νύχτας.
Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα είχαμε προειδοποιήσει για αυτή την έλλειψη προγραμματισμού και προετοιμασίας ενόψει του χειμώνα από τον Οκτώβριο, ωστόσο οι ελληνικές Αρχές επέλεξαν να κάνουν απλά αποσπασματικές κινήσεις και να βρίσκονται πάντα πίσω από τις εξελίξεις. Παρά τους ισχυρισμούς της ελληνικής κυβέρνησης ότι τα σχετικά μέτρα έχουν ολοκληρωθεί με επιτυχία, η προετοιμασία για τον χειμώνα για τους μετανάστες και τους πρόσφυγες που είναι εγκλωβισμένοι στην Ελλάδα και κυρίως στα νησιά έχει αποτύχει.
Φωτογραφίες: Αλέξανδρος Αβραμίδης
Πώς είναι αυτήν τη στιγμή οι συνθήκες διαβίωσης στα hotspot; Η κατάσταση στα νησιά είναι θλιβερή και εξοργιστική. Επιπλέον, οι θερμοκρασίες τις τελευταίες εβδομάδες έχουν πέσει σε ορισμένες περιπτώσεις αρκετά κάτω από το μηδέν τις τελευταίες μέρες, ενώ μετά το χιόνι έχουμε βροχές και καταιγίδες. Οι καταυλισμοί των hotspot λειτουργούν πολύ πάνω από τη δυναμικότητά τους εδώ και μήνες. Το θέαμα ενηλίκων και παιδιών που εξακολουθούν να κοιμούνται σε σκηνές στο χιόνι και τη λάσπη είναι κάτι που μας εξοργίζει.
Είναι γεγονός ότι οι συνθήκες αυτές στα νησιά δεν έχουν βελτιωθεί σχεδόν καθόλου τους τελευταίους έξι μήνες. Ο αριθμός των προσφύγων στους καταυλισμούς της Σάμου και της Λέσβου είναι διπλάσιος έως τριπλάσιος της προβλεπόμενης δυναμικότητας. Αυτό έχει άμεση επίπτωση στη ψυχική και σωματική υγεία των ανθρώπων. Καθώς οι συνθήκες χειροτερεύουν, οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα φοβόμαστε ότι είναι απλώς θέμα χρόνου να συμβεί μια νέα τραγωδία, να πεθάνει κάποιος από υποθερμία ή να έχουμε νέο ατύχημα καθώς οι άνθρωποι αναγκάζονται να ζεσταίνονται μέσα στις μικρές νάιλον σκηνές τους με γκαζάκια. Αυτό πρέπει να σταματήσει τώρα.
Πώς θα σταματήσει δηλαδή; Τι πρέπει να γίνει κατά τη γνώμη σας; Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα ζητάμε να στεγαστούν όλοι οι πρόσφυγες και μετανάστες που βρίσκονται στα νησιά σε αξιοπρεπή και ζεστά καταλύματα που είναι κατάλληλα για τον χειμώνα. Αυτό μπορεί να επιτευχθεί μόνο με τη μείωση του πληθυσμού στην προβλεπόμενη δυναμικότητα των hotspot και τη μεταφορά των υπόλοιπων ανθρώπων σε αξιοπρεπή καταλύματα στην ηπειρωτική χώρα.
Οι Aρχές, όμως υποστηρίζουν ότι έχουν κερδίσει το στοίχημα του ξεχειμωνιάσματος στην ηπειρωτική χώρα. Ποια είναι η δική σας εικόνα; Στην ηπειρωτική Ελλάδα, είναι αλήθεια ότι η κατάσταση σε πολλούς καταυλισμούς βελτιώθηκε πρόσφατα. Πέρα από αυτές τις μεμονωμένες βελτιώσεις, για άλλη μια φορά, μας ανησυχεί ιδιαίτερα η απουσία γενικότερης πρόβλεψης για τα πιο έντονα καιρικά φαινόμενα, τα οποία είναι αναμενόμενο να έρθουν, ιδίως σε περιοχές όπως η Βόρεια Ελλάδα και η Μαλακάσα όπου έχουμε χαμηλές θερμοκρασίες κάθε χρόνο. Τις τελευταίες εβδομάδες στη Βόρεια Ελλάδα είδαμε καταυλισμούς θαμμένους στο χιόνι, με πάγο ακόμα και μέσα στις τουαλέτες, χωρίς νερό και θέρμανση για ημέρες και με έντονα προβλήματα ηλεκτροδότησης. Στην Μαλακάσα το ίδιο. Η κατάσταση αυτή απέχει πολύ από το να χαρακτηριστεί ικανοποιητική. Είναι ντροπή αυτή η εικόνα των καταυλισμών.
Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα τι ακριβώς κάνουν για να βοηθήσουν όσους υποφέρουν από το κρύο; Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα βοηθάμε τους ανθρώπους παρέχοντας χειμερινά ρούχα, κουβέρτες και υπνόσακους σε όλη τη χώρα. Στη βόρεια Ελλάδα, εγκαταστήσαμε σύστημα θέρμανσης στην αποθήκη της Φράκαπορ. Στη Σάμο, έχουμε προσφέρει αξιοπρεπή στέγη σε 84 ανθρώπους (έγκυες γυναίκες, παιδιά και οικογένειες) μεταφέροντας τους εκτός hotspot.
Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα είναι μια ιατρική ανθρωπιστική οργάνωση επείγουσας παρέμβασης. Πέρυσι, καλύψαμε μεγάλο μέρος των έκτακτων αναγκών που είχαν δημιουργηθεί, κυρίως στη Λέσβο και την Ειδομένη αλλά και σε πολλά ακόμη σημεία σε όλη τη χώρα, εξαιτίας του μεγάλου αριθμού των αφίξεων και της απουσίας συστήματος υποδοχής. Σήμερα όμως, οι ανάγκες είναι λιγότερο έκτακτες και περισσότερο προβλέψιμες. Για αυτό το λόγο εστιάζουμε με τις δράσεις μας στην ψυχική υγεία, τη σεξουαλική και αναπαραγωγική υγεία, καθώς και τη φροντίδα ατόμων με χρόνια νοσήματα.
Οι άμεσες ανάγκες για αξιοπρεπή στέγαση, διατροφή και προστασία από το κρύο αποτελούν προτεραιότητα και για την κάλυψή τους έχει εγκριθεί χρηματοδότηση από την Ευρωπαϊκή Ένωση. Οι Αρχές και οι εμπλεκόμενοι φορείς έχουν τα μέσα για να ανταποκριθούν σε μια κατάσταση που είναι απόλυτα προβλέψιμη: τον χειμώνα. Δεν υπάρχει καμία δικαιολογία.
Γιατί οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα διέκοψαν τις δραστηριότητές τους στα hotspot; Η απόφασή μας να σταματήσουμε τις δραστηριότητές μας στα hotspot ήταν δύσκολη κι έχουμε τοποθετηθεί αναλυτικά σε αυτό το ζήτημα. Αρχικά, σκοπός των καταυλισμών στα νησιά, πριν ακόμη μετατραπούν σε hotspot, ήταν η καταγραφή των ανθρώπων, ώστε να έχουν πρόσβαση σε άσυλο είτε στην Ελλάδα είτε σε άλλη χώρα της Ευρώπης. Τότε, οι πρόσφυγες αντιμετώπιζαν ανεπαρκείς συνθήκες υποδοχής και για αυτό δουλέψαμε μέσα στους καταυλισμούς αυτούς ώστε να μετριάσουμε τις επιπτώσεις των συνθηκών αυτών στην υγεία και την ψυχολογική κατάσταση των ανθρώπων.
Η συμφωνία ΕΕ-Τουρκίας έχει αλλάξει τον σκοπό των hotspot. Από κέντρα καταγραφής που επιτρέπουν στους ανθρώπους που χρήζουν προστασίας και είναι ευάλωτοι να φύγουν από τα νησιά και να βρουν ασφάλεια κάπου στην Ευρώπη, έχουν μετατραπεί σε προαναχωρησιακά κέντρα και κέντρα κράτησης που προσφέρουν ανεπαρκείς εγγυήσεις για τον σεβασμό των βασικών δικαιωμάτων των ανθρώπων. Σε αυτό το πλαίσιο, φοβόμαστε ότι η βοήθεια που προσφέρουμε θα χρησιμοποιηθεί ως εργαλείο για μια επιχείρηση μαζικών απελάσεων, και αυτό δεν είναι αποδεκτό για την οργάνωσή μας.
Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα θεωρούμε απαράδεκτη την υπογραφή αυτής της συμφωνίας που στόχο έχει να αποτρέψει τους ανθρώπους να ζητήσουν άσυλο στην Ευρώπη. Επίσης, δεν επιθυμούμε να αποτελούμε μέρος ενός συστήματος που δεν εγγυάται την ικανοποίηση των βασικών ανθρωπιστικών αναγκών και αναγκών προστασίας.
Ποιες είναι οι ευθύνες τις Ευρώπης απέναντι σε αυτή την κατάσταση που έχει διαμορφωθεί με την λεγόμενη «προσφυγική κρίση»; Σήμερα οι ευρωπαϊκές πολιτικές εφαρμόζονται χωρίς να λαμβάνονται υπόψη οι ανθρωπιστικές επιπτώσεις και οι ανάγκες εξαιρετικά ευάλωτων ανθρώπων, ως εργαλείο αποτροπής όσων εξακολουθούν να αναζητούν ασφάλεια στην Ευρώπη. Η ΕΕ διώχνει μακριά τους ανθρώπους που ζητούν προστασία και προέρχονται από τις πιο ενεργές εμπόλεμες ζώνες που υπάρχουν αυτή τη στιγμή. Η εμμονή των κυβερνήσεων της ΕΕ στα μέτρα αποτροπής αντί της υποδοχής και της προστασίας, το μόνο που κάνει είναι να μεγενθύνει τη δυστυχία των ανθρώπων και να τους σπρώχνει σε πιο επικίνδυνες οδούς, που σε κάποιες περιπτώσεις τους οδηγούν ακόμη και στο θάνατο.
Η συμφωνία ΕΕ-Τουρκίας συνεχίζει να αποτελεί ένα τεράστιο βήμα προς τη λάθος κατεύθυνση, καθώς επισημοποιεί ένα σύστημα που απειλεί το δικαίωμα στο άσυλο, περιφρονώντας πλήρως τις ανθρωπιστικές ανάγκες και τις ανάγκες προστασίας. Είναι απορίας άξιο πώς μπορεί η Ευρώπη να υπερηφανεύεται για μια τέτοια συμφωνία που μεταφέρει το ζήτημα της προστασίας των προσφύγων σε τρίτες χώρες.
Γιατί οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα αρνήθηκαν να δεχτούν χρηματοδότηση από την ΕΕ; Προκειμένου να παραμείνουμε ανεξάρτητοι, οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα δεν έχουμε δεχτεί ποτέ χρήματα της ΕΕ για τα προγράμματά μας που αφορούν τη μετανάστευση και το προσφυγικό ζήτημα στην Ευρώπη. Μετά την υπογραφή της συμφωνίας ΕΕ-Τουρκίας τον Μάρτιο του 2016, οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα προχωρήσαμε ένα βήμα παραπέρα και ανακοινώσαμε ότι δεν θα δεχόμαστε πλέον χρήματα από την ΕΕ, τα κράτη-μέλη της ΕΕ και τη Νορβηγία σε καμία από τις χώρες στις οποίες δραστηριοποιείται η οργάνωσή μας. Η απόφαση αυτή ελήφθει σε ένδειξη αντίθεσης στις καταστροφικές πολιτικές αποτροπής της ΕΕ και τις συνεχιζόμενες προσπάθειες να απωθηθούν οι άνθρωποι και η δυστυχία τους από τις ακτές της Ευρώπης.
Πολύς λόγος γίνεται σχετικά με την χρηματοδότηση των ελληνικών Αρχών, άλλων φορέων και ΜΚΟ για την αντιμετώπιση της προσφυγικής κρίσης στην Ελλάδα. Ποια είναι η γνώμη σας για τη χρηματοδότηση αυτή; Ποιος ευθύνεται για τις ανεπαρκείς συνθήκες διαβίωσης που βλέπουμε στους προσφυγικούς καταυλισμούς; Είναι αλήθεια ότι έχουν διατεθεί πάρα πολλά εκατομμύρια ευρώ από την ΕΕ σε πολλούς φορείς, όπως στις ελληνικές Αρχές, την Ύπατη Αρμοστεία του ΟΗΕ για τους πρόσφυγες, τον Διεθνή Οργανισμό Μετανάστευσης και μέσω αυτών ή απευθείας από την ΕΕ σε Μη Κυβερνητικές Οργανώσεις, διεθνείς και ελληνικές, για να υλοποιήσουν συγκεκριμένες δράσεις. Αξίζει να τονιστεί ότι αυτή η χρηματοδότηση δεν απαλλάσσει σε καμία περίπτωση την Ευρώπη από τις ευθύνες της στη δημιουργία της ίδιας της «προσφυγικής κρίσης» με τον τρόπο που τη διαχειρίζεται και τις πολιτικές που υιοθετεί.
Οι Γιατροί Χωρίς Σύνορα δεν εμπλεκόμαστε καθόλου σε αυτή τη χρηματοδότηση της ΕΕ, χρησιμοποιούμε αποκλειστικά ιδιωτικούς πόρους και συνεπώς δεν είμαστε σε θέση να γνωρίζουμε λεπτομέρειες. Ωστόσο, οι ανεπάρκειες που βλέπουμε στους καταυλισμούς φανερώνουν έλλειψη προετοιμασίας και αποτελεσματικότητας, είναι προϊόν της κακής διαχείρισης των πόρων και της έλλειψης πολιτικής βούλησης. Πολλές φορές οι δραστηριότητές παρακωλύονται από την γραφειοκρατία και την αναλγησία της δημόσιας διοίκησης στην Ελλάδα καθώς και από την έλλειψη ενός εθνικού σχεδίου δράσης. Η ευθύνη βαραίνει πρωτίστως τις ελληνικές και ευρωπαϊκές Αρχές και τους διεθνείς οργανισμούς που διαχειρίζονται αυτά τα κονδύλια.
Pochi minuti prima di diventare ufficialmente il Presidente degli Stati Uniti d'America, Donald John Trump si dirigeva verso l'ala del Campidoglio dove sarebbe avvenuto il giuramento con le telecamere puntate su di lui. Era insieme ad altri leader repubblicani, ma stava appena più indietro, preso nei suoi pensieri. Le pose da gradasso che fanno puntualmente infuriare chi lo critica ed esaltano chi lo sostiene sembravano essere sparite. Era semplicemente un uomo con una strana capigliatura e una cravatta enorme a un passo dal prendere in carico il lavoro più importante del mondo.
Poi, all'improvviso, è tornato al suo personale equilibrio. Il discorso inaugurale è stato il primo pronunciato all'America da presidente, ma è stato anche l'occasione perfetta per ripetere tutte le promesse fatte in campagna elettorale, la linea che gli ha dato forza nella sua folle corsa per la Casa Bianca: l'America è finita nel baratro, e solo io posso salvarla.
ll discorso, a differenza di quelli molto più liberi e sconnessi dei comizi, era preparato (pare da Donald Trump stesso), a indicare un approccio molto più ragionato rispetto alle dichiarazioni improvvisate che lo hanno caratterizzato in questi mesi. È così che Trump vuole presentarsi al paese e al mondo, è questa l'idea di America che vuole costruire nei prossimi quattro anni.
Visto anche il tono della campagna, il suo è stato un discorso prevedibilmente più cupo e pieno di paura di quelli di altri presidenti del passato. Qui di seguito ho selezionato alcuni dei passaggi più importanti,* provando al contempo a spiegarli.
Washington prosperava, ma la gente non era chiamata a partecipare di questa ricchezza. I politici prosperavano, e nel frattempo i lavori scarseggiavano e le fabbriche chiudevano.
L'establishment ha protetto se stesso, ma non i cittadini. Le loro vittorie non sono state le vostre vittorie. I loro successi non sono stati i vostri. E mentre nella capitale festeggiavano, per le famiglie del nostro paese c'era poco di cui rallegrarsi.
Questo passaggio esprime bene il motivo per cui Trump ha vinto le primarie repubblicane e ha conquistato i voti degli stati del Midwest che gli hanno assicurato la vittoria di misura su Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama e i democratici hanno a lungo propagandato la disoccupazione in calo e altri indicatori di un'economia in ripresa, a cui si aggiungono i milioni di americani che hanno un'assicurazione sanitaria grazie all'Affordable Care Act. Ma cosa devi pensare se sotto l'amministrazione Obama la tua vita non è migliorata? Se fai ancora fatica ad arrivare a fine mese, e quei presunti successi non ti hanno minimamente toccato? In quel caso, le parole di Trump hanno perfettamente senso. Qualcuno deve pur avere beneficiato delle politiche di Obama. Ma chi? I politici corrotti di Washington, ecco chi!
Tutto questo cambia qui, a partire da ora. Questo è il vostro giorno, la vostra festa, il vostro momento. Questo, gli Stati Uniti d'America, è il vostro paese.
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Le persone dimenticate non saranno più dimenticate.
Criticare lo status quo è una strategia ricorrente in questi casi—nel suo primo discorso inaugurale, Obama aveva detto di assumere il ruolo di presidente "sotto un cielo denso di nuvole e tempeste furiose." Ma Obama aveva parlato anche di diversità, dell'importanza del "patchwork heritage" americano, e dell'idea che il paese avesse "preferito la speranza alla paura, l'unità di obiettivi al conflitto e alla discordia."
Trump non ha invocato coesione e unità. Non ha specificato chi sono i dimenticati, ma è facile capire a chi si riferisca—sono i suoi sostenitori, persone che vivono in zone più bianche, anziane e meno istruite di altre parti degli Stati Uniti. Tutta la sua campagna ha teso a presentarlo come un candidato migliore di Obama, per quella particolare fascia di popolazione. Come ci riuscirà, questa è una bella domanda.
Gli americani vogliono ottime scuole per i loro figli, quartieri sicuri per le loro famiglie, e lavoro.
Sono tutte richieste giuste e ragionevoli.
Ma per troppi cittadini americani la realtà è un'altra.
Qui Trump inizia a essere più specifico.
Madri e figli nella morsa della povertà, fabbriche abbandonate sparse come lapidi sul territorio della nazione.
Un sistema scolastico invaso dai soldi ma che lascia i nostri giovani e meravigliosi studenti privi ogni possibilità di conoscere.
Il sistema scolastico americano non è invaso dai soldi, eppure dirlo favorisce le aspirazioni di privatizzazione di Trump. Quanto alla questione del lavoro e alle politiche contro la povertà, quello che possiamo desumere dal sito della Casa Bianca è che la risposta di Trump sarà quella offerta dal Partito Repubblicano per qualsiasi cosa. Tagli delle tasse e deregolamentazione. Ma aiuteranno a sconfiggere la povertà? A invertire le tendenze di lungo termine che hanno devastato il comparto industriale americano?
E la criminalità e il crimine organizzato e le droghe che hanno rubato così tante vite e depredato il nostro paese del suo potenziale irrealizzato. Questo massacro finisce qui e ora.
Trump non spiega come finirà, ma è di nuovo il sito della Casa Bianca a venirci in aiuto: più agenti in strada, più deportazioni, più armi nelle mani dei cittadini. Vuole mettere fine a quella che definisce "un'atmosfera anti-polizia." Trump non si espone troppo sulla guerra alla droga, ma è difficile immaginare che sia a favore di una sua riduzione d'intensità.
Da oggi, l'America viene prima. Ogni decisione sul commercio, sulle tasse, in materia di immigrazione, sugli esteri sarà presa a beneficio dei lavoratori americani e delle famiglie americane. Dobbiamo proteggere i nostri confini dalle devastazioni di altri paesi che distruggono i nostri prodotti, rubano le nostre aziende e distruggono il nostro lavoro.
[Proteggere tutto ciò] ci assicurerà prosperità e successo. Mi batterò per voi con tutte le mie forze, e non vi deluderò mai.
Sul protezionismo, Trump e i repubblicani hanno una visione piuttosto diversa—Trump vuole tasse sui beni esteri, un'operazione che aumenterebbe il prezzo di molti di essi ma che potrebbe teoricamente convincere a produrre su suolo americano. I mercati, dal canto loro, sono apparsi piuttosto preoccupati da questa prospettiva.
Costruiremo nuove strade, autostrade, ponti, aeroporti e ferrovie in tutto il paese.
Ricostruiremo il nostro paese con mani americane e lavoro americano.
Trump dedica ampio spazio alla necessità di nuove infrastrutture, un aspetto su cui anche i democratici concordano. Ma ora come ora non ci sono programmi in questo senso, e sembra che Trump voglia ricorrere a partnership tra pubblico e privato che prevedano (per esempio) la costruzione di strade e la successiva imposizione di pedaggi per ricavarne un profitto. Che, a occhio, non sembra esattamente una strategia che i democratici appoggerebbero.
Rinforzeremo le vecchie alleanze e ne formeremo di nuove per unire il mondo civilizzato contro il terrorismo dell'Islam radicale, che cancelleremo dalla faccia della Terra.
Dopo le infrastrutture, Trump passa alla politica estera. Obama ha evitato per anni di dire che gli Stati Uniti erano in guerra contro "l'Islam radicale," facendo per questo infuriare i conservatori. Di conseguenza, quella frase pronunciata da Trump avrà sicuramente ringalluzzito i repubblicani.
Parlando poi di "mondo civilizzato" e di cancellazione del nemico "dalla faccia della Terra," Trump avvalora implicitamente l'idea che l'opposizione a ISIS, al-Qaeda e altre organizzazioni terroristiche sia uno "scontro di civiltà"—che poi è la stessa visione del mondo che, a parti opposte, sostengono le suddette organizzazioni.
Alla base delle nostre politiche ci sarà la totale fedeltà agli Stati Uniti d'America. Attraverso la lealtà al nostro paese riscopriremo la lealtà al prossimo.
Aprendo i vostri cuori al patriottismo non lascerete spazio ai pregiudizi.
Quando molti, Obama incluso, parlano di lotta al razzismo, sottolineano la vastità degli sforzi necessari. Secoli di schiavitù e discriminazioni istituzionalizzate non svaniscono in un lampo: per cancellarli servono azioni coordinate e consapevolezza. Non è tanto ciò che ognuno porta nel proprio cuore, ma il modo in cui i sistemi agiscono sulle minoranze e le donne, che si differenza da quello in cui agiscono sugli uomini bianchi.
Trump non nega questi sforzi, ma non sembra nemmeno preoccuparsene. Se sei patriottico non sei razzista, quindi non devi far altro che "aprire il tuo cuore al patriottismo." Facile, no?
Quando l'America è unita, non c'è niente che la possa fermare. Non bisogna avere paura. Siamo protetti, e lo saremo sempre. Saremo protetti dai valorosi uomini e donne delle forze armate e di polizia. E soprattutto da Dio.
Anche nei passaggi più concilianti del suo discorso, Trump fa capire che si rivolge a determinate persone e non ad altre—ad esempio, non si rivolge a chi non si sente tutelato dalle forze dell'ordine.
Siamo all'alba di un nuovo millennio, pronti a svelare i misteri dello spazio, a liberare il mondo dai misteri delle malattie, e a sfruttare le energie e le tecnologie del domani.
Cosa vuol dire questo, che Trump punta allo spazio? Be', sì. Ma quando parla di tutti questi traguardi, sottintende che saranno le corporation ad agire, non il governo americano.
Il suo discorso non include inoltre riferimenti ai presunti tagli dei fondi federali, che significherebbero meno soldi per la ricerca scientifica, soprattutto in relazione al cambiamento climatico.
A tutti gli americani in città vicine e lontane, piccole e grandi, da una montagna all'altra, da un oceano all'altro, a voi dico queste parole: non verrete più ignorati. La vostra voce, le vostre speranze e i vostri sogni sono ciò che definirà il nostro destino di americani. E il vostro coraggio, la vostra bontà e il vostro amore ci guideranno sempre lungo il percorso.
Questo è il canto finale del populista. Il problema è che Trump non è un populista particolarmente popolare, visti i sondaggi sul consenso e una vittoria elettorale non premiata dal voto popolare. Il programma di Trump, dal protezionismo ai tagli alla revoca dell'Obamacare, sembra più ufficiale che mai. Ma cosa succederebbe se quelle stesse voci da un oceano all'altro dovessero dirgli di no?
It's no secret that a number of marginalized groups have much to fear about the incoming Trump administration, and the leather, fetish, and BDSM community is no exception.
To be sure, fetishists can always hang up their gear at the end of the day and hide their identity from the world, but that's less the case when you're a titleholder, who are among the community's most vocal advocates. To become one, titleholders must win competitions on the scene's national circuit—think of them as beauty pageants for kinks like rubber and puppy play, where contestants are judged before an audience on factors like their decorum, public speaking, and fetish spirit. A sash is passed down among winners from year to year, which entails the responsibility of becoming a community figurehead and leading fundraising and activism for community causes.
Last weekend, titleholders from across the country gathered in the nation's capitol for Mid Atlantic Leather Weekend, one of America's largest leather conventions. We photographed six of them before our greatest national monuments and asked them their hopes and fears for their community under Trump.
Alaina, Ms. Philadelphia Leather 2016
"Even as we're doing this photoshoot right now, I'm unnerved—not only by stares and titters from tourists, but more so by the underlying feeling of abhorrence, my fear of an act of violence bolstered by the normalization of hate that's occurred since the election.
Leather is a community that represents itself visibly and recognizably, which inherently denies the instinct that people within the broader LGBTQ community might have to 'blend' or 'pass' for their own safety. As such, it's more important than ever to be unified in our visibility, unapologetic in it, and supportive of one another."
Pup Vidhra, Northeast Puppy 2017
"At a minimum, we're facing four very long years of fighting for access to affordable and effective healthcare. While I admire the leather and kink scene of the 80s, I don't want to see a resurgence in fundraisers to help community members pay medical or funeral bills.
Trump may be a loose cannon, but we already know Pence is an enemy of comprehensive sexual healthcare, HIV prevention, and LGBT rights in general. It's a legitimate fear that we'll see loss of necessary medical coverage and HIV care. The GOP is already making moves against the ACA and Planned Parenthood. We've seen what happens when administrations turn a deaf ear to the cries of LGBT lives. I fear we'll see a rise in new HIV infection rates in areas that lack strong education and support networks."
Sir Damien, Northeast Handler 2017
"'First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak for me.'
Because kinky leather folk are seen as 'social deviants,' we will be the first group to be discriminated against and have laws levied against us. We need to be vigilant—not only about our own rights, but the rights of everyone else, too, because fascism doesn't happen overnight. It's a series of small tests that test your obedience until the very last one, where you wonder how you got there. It's death by a million paper cuts, and you would never think that you would be part of it until the end, when you have a moment to reflect on it all. History is only destined to repeat itself if we don't stay on top of it all."
Slave Velvet-Storm, Ms. New Jersey Leather 2017
"My community and I are in no way second-class citizens. We will unite as one against Trump and his lying government. I consider the United States and the people who reside in it to be powerful, and we will stand up against tyranny and racism to find the freedom to live our lives as we see fit. Latinos, Caucasians, blacks, Asians, and others in my community will unite in order to continue being free to be themselves. We will not be bullied by Trump. We are family, and family protects family. So Trump can kiss my Puerto Rican fat ass—I'm here, and I'm not hiding. I am Slave Velvet-Storm, Ms. New Jersey Leather 2017, and I'm a proud member of the leather community."
Preston So, Mr International Rubber 2017
"As this year's Mr International Rubber, I'm fortunate to be the first international fetish titleholder of Asian heritage. My mission is to rubberize the world by bringing the latex fetish to new places and awaken new rubberists, especially those of color.
At a recent kink event, I was the only person of color in an elevator, without my sash on, and an intoxicated individual slurred to me, 'You know, now that Trump's president, you shouldn't be in this elevator.' He then attempted to shove me out before I reached my floor. While everyone else reacted with disgust, not one of them confronted him when I was at a total loss for words.
The rubber community is lucky enough to be embraced with open arms by other fetishists at kink events, but that experience demonstrated to me that it's easy to do so while turning the other cheek to the disabled, people of color, women, and HIV-positive individuals—marginalized communities that cut across our kink communities like weaves in a basket.
I'm glad I'm able to experience both the high of warm welcomes as a rubberist and the low of racist encounters as an Asian American. Trump's election only galvanizes me to redouble my efforts as an advocate for marginalized groups both inside and outside the community. I predict that our community will be among the most active in shielding others and combating hate, but we can only do so while we fix the divisions tearing apart our own community first."
Rich Farias, Mr New Jersey Leather 2017
"While a Trump presidency is terrifying on multiple levels, the fact that Pence is VP is even worse. When Trump is inevitability impeached, we'll have one of the most vehemently anti-LGBT politicians in America sitting in the Oval Office.
The biggest failure of the Democratic Party over the past eight years was to focus solely on the presidency while ignoring local, state, and congressional elections. Republicans control the legislatures of nearly three-fourths of the country and hold majorities in both houses of Congress. LGBT rights, women's rights, and racial minorities' rights are in danger on multiple fronts and at all levels of government.
That's where the LGBT community as a whole—and titleholders in particular—have to step in. I believe that we're facing an existential threat almost on par with the AIDS plague years, and as during the AIDS crisis, we have to fight back. As titleholders, I think we need to be on the front lines of the fight—not only in leading protest actions, but building bridges with other minority communities affected by the clear rise of fascism in this country."
Voor veel meisjes die gedurende hun jeugd ondergedompeld worden in de westerse cultuur, is het een grote droom om in een prinses te veranderen. En eerlijk is eerlijk: traditioneel gezien klinkt het nog niet eens zo slecht om door rijkdom en aandacht omgeven te worden, in ruil voor wat stilzwijgende instemming. Toch werken de bevalligheid en volgzaamheid die met Disney-prinsessen geassocieerd worden in de echte wereld maar al te vaak in het nadeel van vrouwen en meisjes. Critici zouden zich af kunnen vragen: kunnen we meisjes nog wel op een onschuldige manier laten genieten van hun prinsessendroom, zonder daarbij ook meteen een socio-culturele traditie, die voortgekomen is uit patriarchale normen, voor lief te nemen? Dat moet iedere prinses voor zichzelf beslissen.
Tegenwoordig is het ook niet meer nodig om geduldig op je droomprins te wachten, zodat je aan je transformatie tot prinses kunt beginnen: aanstaande prinsesjes hebben nu de mogelijkheid het koninklijke heft in eigen handen te nemen. Neem nou Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique, een initiatief van Disney: een betoverende schoonheidssalon, die magische make-overs aanbiedt voor jonge prinsessen en prinsen van drie tot twaalf jaar oud. De eerste boetiek opende in 2006 z'n deuren in Orlando, in Florida, en sindsdien zijn er nog drie internationale locaties bijgekomen.
De salon, die door een goede fee wordt "beheerd" en door een aantal goede feeën in opleiding wordt "gerund", is zeven dagen per week geopend en legt dus – wel alleen op afspraak – aan de lopende band jonge prinsen en prinsessen in de watten. In de wachtruimte beslissen de meisjes of ze 'Disney Diva', 'Pop Princess' of 'Fairytale Princess' willen worden, terwijl hun ouders vertwijfeld een keuze proberen te maken tussen welke accessoires hun koninklijke nakomelingen het hardst nodig zullen hebben: een heuse coach, een prinsessentuin, of toch maar een kasteel? De salon biedt een uitgebreid scala aan diensten aan, maar elke afspraak eindigt standaard met een beetje feeënstof, een magische wens en natuurlijk een professionele fotoshoot.
Als ze nog meer plezier willen halen uit hun nieuwe kapsels, make-up en nagels, krijgen de kinderen de mogelijkheid om mee te doen aan de dagelijks terugkerende prinsessenparade. Elke middag worden de meisjes welkom geheten om mee te marcheren, en zo hun koninklijke wuif te oefenen voor hun familie. De parade lokt nog altijd veel mensen naar binnen, en ondertussen zit er vrijwel altijd een groot aantal jongens en meisjes te wachten op hun magische moment in de schijnwerpers.
Alle foto's door Samantha Friend.
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Vrouwen praten misschien veel, maar we horen ze te weinig. Daarom is Broadly Nederland er. Like onze pagina.
"Terminé como terminamos los drogadictos que tocamos fondo: con una camiseta blanca del PRI; recogiendo colillas de cigarro, los dientes llenos de masilla, desesperados por una moneda para comprar una piedra".
¡Felicidades! Probablemente llegaste a esta página porque son las 3 AM y estás buscando consejos de auto ayuda y alguna variación en las frases: ¿Estoy muerto? ¿Mi corazón roto ha hecho que mi sangre deje de funcionar?
La buena noticia es que: no estás muerto. La mala noticia es que: estás pasando por una ruptura, lo que significa que la siguiente semana o hasta el mes completo va a ser bastante desagradable. Tendrás dificultades para involucrarte de cualquier forma con otras personas; vas a necesitar ver a un doctor para una segunda opinión en ese asunto; creerás, con absoluta convicción, que todo se acabó: que a partir de ahora serás sólo tú, solo, tirando pan a los pájaros.
Pero no te preocupes: hay una solución a tu sufrimiento. Cuando perdemos a alguien cercano pasamos por las 5 etapas del duelo: negación, ira, negociación, depresión y aceptación. La ira, en este caso, es cuando le das unfollow a tu ex en cada red social y te arrepientes de inmediato porque ya no puedes actualizar su historia de Snapchat cada media hora. La depresión es el moho en esos platos llenos de cátsup junto a tu puerta que se vuelve consciente. Finalmente la aceptación es lavar esos platos.
No es fácil regresar a la felicidad, pero supéralo, ya has pasado por eso antes. Aquí hay algunos consejos aprobados para ayudarte en el camino.
TENER ALGÚN LUGAR PARA ESTAR EN LAS MAÑANAS
Esto suena simple, pero cuando estás sufriendo de verdad es muy fácil despertar, piensas, "a la mierda todo hoy", y te vuelves a dormir, te despiertas de nuevo, te reportas enfermo, te metes al Instagram de tu ex, esperando a que de la anda aparezcan diez fotos nuevas, lloras un poco cuando esto no pasa, te vuelves a dormir, te despiertas otra vez, te echas una muy triste sesión de masturbación viendo cualquier cosa en PornHub, te pones una sudadera, te vas a un bar, y pasas el resto del día bebiendo vodka.
Así, claramente, se puede vivir. Continua así y te saldrán llagas por estar tanto tiempo en cama y cirrosis. Tienes que salir. Rentar una bicicleta, nadar en un estanque, pedir prestado un perro, hablar con tu mamá, cualquier cosa que anime. Si las únicas interacciones que tienes son con los repartidores de Domino's pizza te vas a sentir así durante mucho, mucho tiempo.
CONSIGUE A UN AMIGO PARA QUE LIMPIE TU TELÉFONO
Después de una semana, pero en serio una semana no cuando "estés listo", pídele a un amigo que limpie tu teléfono de cualquier foto, mensaje o video con carga emocional. Debe ser un amigo en quien confíes, porque verá algunas fotos cegadoras de tus genitales de cerquita y tendrá que leer 100 mensajes tan cursis que podría darle diabetes. Tienes que borrar todo. Todo. Y también los recuerdos materiales; no es de un documental de Netflix en el que los forenses rastrean viejas pruebas para revertir el curso de la justicia o sacar algo nuevo a la luz. Esta es la realidad, donde el hecho de ver un iCloud lleno de recuerdos y vídeos torpes de sexo sólo te hace sentir vacío por dentro.
NO TE COJAS A LA PRIMERA PERSONA QUE TE TIRE LA ONDA
Es el primer fin de semana de "libertad", todavía no te cae el veinte de que cortaste y un conocido se da cuenta de tu soltería, te empieza a mensajear constantemente. Te sientes ligeramente halagado. La mejor manera de superar a alguien es ponerse debajo de alguien, ¿verdad? Entonces aceptas salir sólo por un trago…
Error. No conoces la verdadera tristeza hasta que te vas a casa con un hombre porque "podría ser una buena idea", y te das cuenta de que usa un kimono para andar en su casa, te despierta con sus ronquidos de gordo, y lloró en silencio mientras tratabas de quitarte de debajo de su brazo. Cuando te ofrezca cocinar para ti estarás temblando incontrolablemente.
SIN EMBARGO, HAZ UNA LISTA DE TUS POSIBLES FUCKBUDDIES
Esto es lo debes hacer: dividir un papel en tres columnas: "cogidas pasadas que podría volver a visitar", "gente nueva que conozco poco y con la que podría acabar cogiendo", y luego lo que llamamos "cogidas de prestigio" también conocidas como: todo el mundo que te gusta que es famoso, pero no lo suficientemente famoso como para dormir con otras personas famosas: tus Rita Ora, tus Richard Bacon, ese tipo que sale en algún video de Rihanna. La lista de tus posibles fuckbuddies es un concepto abstracto; no necesariamente tienes que cogerte a los que están en la lista, pero es una manera de recordarte que otras personas atractivas andan por ahí, sin importar si saben o no que existes.
IGNORA EL 90 POR CIENTO DE LOS CONSEJOS DE TUS AMIGOS
Resulta que tus amigos, tus tan simpáticos, inteligentes amigos, esos que te arrastraron tres cuadras hasta tu cama esa vez que te desmayaste en un bar, en realidad son terribles dando consejos sobre relaciones. La mayoría de las veces sólo quieren decirte lo que está mal acerca de tu relación: "Si él ya está saliendo con sus amigos, significa que probablemente haya sido gay todo el tiempo" o te dicen banalidades que normalmente están reservadas para los imanes del refri y para las abuelas: "El hecho de que te haya engañado significa que no está listo para una relación", "Si está destinado a ser, volverán a estar juntos en el futuro", "Es importante aprender a estar solo", etc.
Es bueno hablar con la gente acerca de cómo te sientes, pero también es bueno ignorar todo lo que dicen.
NO HABLES CON TU EX
¿Te comerías una pechuga de pollo cruda? ¿Te meterías a bañar con una secadora de cabello? Antes de entrar a una cirugía, ¿dirías: "No, gracias, creo que no quiero que me pongan anestesia porque hoy me siento muy valiente"? ¿No? Entonces, ¿por qué le llamarías a tu ex a las 10:38 PM para preguntarle a quien se ha cogido las ultimas dos semanas desde que cortaron, y si fue el mejor sexo de su vida, y si le hicieron lo que sabes que le gusta? Cuando se trata de rupturas, es mentira que el saber es poder. El saber significa sufrimiento. El saber es la imagen de tu ex cogiéndose a alguien de su trabajo. Realmente no quieres saber.
PREPÁRATE PARA SU LLAMADA
Sin lugar a dudas, tres semanas después de la ruptura, el antiguo amor de tu vida, que ahora es más patético que de costumbre, te llamará temprano un domingo por la mañana y te dirá que ha cometido un grave error. Todo lo que vas a querer hacer, por supuesto, es ir a su casa, a lavarle el cabello, cocinarle pasta, y ver Netflix hasta que la pequeña nota aparezca preguntándote si todavía estás vivo.
Pero recuerda esto: ya sabes lo que dicen cuando estás dejando de fumar que tres semanas es el punto en el que comienza a ser más fácil, es el punto en que ya tosiste todo el alquitrán y ya eres capaz de correr distancias cortas sin estar a punto de morir. La misma regla se aplica para las rupturas. Por lo general, es alrededor de tres semanas cuando la vida empieza a mejorar, así que no retrocedas. Quédate en casa a hacer cualquier cosa del hogar que puedes hacer ahora que estás soltero. Prepárate algo de comer y lee. Y si en algún momento te sientes tentado, solo piensa en tu amigo que está atrapado en el limbo de la ruptura con su ex horrible, y que gracias a la luna y a los cielos no eres ellos.
MANTÉN TU LOCURA BAJO CONTROL
Después de todo el "actuar como una persona más grande" y "escoger el buen camino", puede ser increíblemente catártico para ceder ante tus sentimientos, darle pantallazo a la foto de Instagram más reciente de tu ex en con alguien equis, y enviársela con el título: "¿QUIÉN CHINGADOS ES ESTE?" Permítanme decirles por experiencia que sólo van a responder con algo así como: "Es mi amigo José... que hubieras conocido si hubieras ido a su cumpleaños en lugar de cancelar en el último minuto porque te "sentías mal". Probablemente te bloqueará. Así que trata de practicar el autocontrol cuando te sientas celoso. Hashtaguear "micropenes" en todas las fotos de tu ex o hablarle a su mamá para "platicar" en el mejor de los casos hará que te veas infantil, y en el peor hará que te manden una orden judicial.
PERO SI TIENES QUE ENTRARLE A LA GUERRA PSICOLÓGICA, GÁNALE
Si realmente quieres hacer que tu ex sufra como tú, en lugar de acosarlo como en el ejemplo anterior, es más efectivo, y lo que es más importante, menos rastreable, despertar una constante sensación de miedo dentro de ellos a través de la socialización calculada y la manipulación de las redes sociales. Publica en Instagram una foto de ti con otro ex echando el drink con el título: "poniéndonos al día". Cambia tu foto de perfil de Facebook a algo chistoso que te haga tener 4 millones de likes (que tu ex interpretará como 4 millones de personas que quieren dormir contigo). Tómale una foto a un árbol y etiquétala con la ubicación de la ciudad natal del amor de tu infancia del que tu ex siempre se ponía celoso. Sé inteligente. Sé un ganador.
NO PRETENDAS QUE TIENEN QUE VERSE PARA "DARSE SUS COSAS"
No hay absolutamente ninguna circunstancia bajo la cual "un intercambio de cosas" sea otra cosa más que una excusa para verse. En un terreno neutro, donde nadie quiere crecer públicamente, es sólo una recreación perversa de la ruptura que literalmente acabas de tener. Si realmente necesitas esa planta de regreso, considera mandarle un Uber, o por correo.
SI TE ENCUENTRAS A TU EX, INTENTA MANTENER LA CALMA
Por razones increíblemente obvias. Pero en caso de que necesite explicarlo: gritar, llorar o esconderse no está cool.
TEN CUIDADO DE USAR ESTO COMO UNA OPORTUNIDAD PARA CONOCER "NUEVOS TIPOS DE PERSONAS"
Lento pero seguro en algún momento te sentirás listo para seguir adelante, y es natural que quieras alejarte de las personas que se parezcan a tu ex; nadie quiere tener un episodio de TEPT un lunes por la noche en plena cita. Pero ten en cuenta que cambiar drásticamente tu "tipo" no es necesariamente una buena idea. Podrías pensar que quieres un cambio, pero cuando empiezas a encontrarte con hombres que apuntan a la cámara en su foto de perfil de Tinder, o chicas de ojos salvajes que se describen como de "espíritu libre", te darás cuenta rápidamente de que tus criterios para salir con alguien no estaban tan mal y eran ligeramente auto-conscientes por una razón.
Sunt momente în care stai pe Facebook și ți se pare că viața nu te mai poate surprinde sau bucura cu nimic. Apoi, ceva apare. Întâi, ca o scurtă licărire cât să-ți redea speranța. Arde din ce în ce mai intens, până când știi că viața e mai bună fie și doar pentru câteva secunde sau minute. Finalul ăsta de săptămână mi-a fost luminat cum nu credeam și speram de însuși marele conducător al Republicii Moldova.
Pe contul și pagina oficiale de Facebook, Igor Dodon a fost pentru noi toți mai puțin șef de stat și mai mult om. Nu chiar om ca tine și ca mine, că noi încă facem (probabil) baie cu apă caldă, ci om al Estului, un adevărat bărbat. Lângă un lac înghețat, în halat cu stema Moldovei și în papuci de plajă sau de casă, într-un slip negru, el s-a îmbăiat în apă rece.
„[...] consider că tradiția scăldatului în apă rece depășește semnificația simbolică. Ea are un rol de întremare și călire trupească. Pentru că Biserica are nevoie de creștini sănătoși și viguroși. De ani de zile practic scăldatul în apă rece. Nu renunț la el nici acum, fiind președinte", a spus Igor Dodon.
În poze și videoclipuri care par făcute cu un cartof actualizat pentru 2017, el ne-a arătat cum se călesc bărbații adevărați. S-a scufundat în apa rece de ianuarie cum s-a scufundat în însăși Moldova ca să îi stârpească răul de la rădăcină și să mintă nițel poporul. Pe pagina de șef n-a pus decât un video, dar pe contul său de om a fost mai darnic cu pozele.
Fotografii de pe pagina de Facebook a lui Igor Dodon
Și, totuși, nu părea să fie de ajuns. Așa că am luat la cercetat contul său să văd cum a fost viața lui în ultimele luni. L-am găsit în mijlocul poporului în câteva mii de poze. Cele mai multe sunt încărcate de pe telefon și sunt la o rezoluție meschină pentru măreția unui așa om călit în apele înghețate ale Bobotezei. Dar tot am găsit una-alta să vezi ce înseamnă să fii iubit de moldoveni, cât să te voteze președinte, chiar dacă ești mai aproape de trecutul comunist decât de viitorul european.
Am ales cele mai frumoase poze cu el când ni se arată pescar, pupător de pâine și primitor de icoane. Uită-te bine la pozele astea și poți să-mi mulțumești mai târziu că weekendul tău a devenit mai bun.
Every summer during the 1980s, 90s and early 2000s, the tourist resort of Rimini was the most decadently Italian place in the world. There was no banking crisis or Euro yet; Silvio Berlusconi and his bikini-clad TV hostesses had free reign of his commercial TV stations; club kids populated the legendary Cocoricò nightclub; and Federico Fellini's burial there was a national affair.
In 1983, the first outlet of Italy's first fast food chain, Italy&Italy, opened in the city, becoming emblematic of the cultural changes the country had gone through in a relatively short time. The success of the chain didn't go unnoticed – some years later, McDonald's bought Italy&Italy and turned every branch into an Maccy Ds.
Rimini-based photojournalist Pasquale Bove spent years documenting all the craziness of summers in the resort between the 1980s and the early 2000s. Photographer Luca Santese went through Bove's archive of over 200,000 photos and selected a number to include in the 2016 book Italy&Italy. It's a collection of euphoric photos of town fairs, partying TV starlets turned politicians and (partially) naked people making the most of their summer. See a few of the images below:
The 150th anniversary of the opening of Rimini's first beach resort.
A woman posing in front of a police van.
Diners at Italy&Italy, Italy's first fast food restaurant.
The result of a police bust.
The best butt contest in a club.
Football fans.
Actress Maria Grazia Cucinotta having some gelato.
Just minutes before Donald John Trump became the president of the United States of America, news cameras followed him as he headed out toward the platform on the west end of the Capitol Building. He was walking with other Republican leaders, but a couple steps behind, by himself, looking like a guy going through some shit. The bluster, the preening, the indomitable self-confidence that enrages his opponents and fires up his supporters—all of that was drained out of him. He was just a man with a haircut and a big tie about to take on the world's most important job.
Then, just as quickly, he returned to what for him is equilibrium. His inaugural address was his first speech to America as its president, but it was also a chance for him to reiterate all the promises he had made throughout the campaign, to tell the story that's given him strength during his surreal run to the White House: America is falling apart, it's failing, and I alone can save it.
This address, unlike his famously discursive, rambling speeches at his rallies, was pre-written (supposedly by Trump himself), meaning we should take this as a more careful articulation of his views than his off-the-cuff statements. This is how Trump wants to present himself to the country and the world, this is the vision of America he will spend the next four years building upon. Unsurprisingly, given the tone of his campaign, Trump's inaugural address was darker and more shaded by fear than those of past presidents—in his view, America is a place where people are killed by crime and drugs, where children are betrayed by bad schools, and the voices of citizens go unheard by a corrupt government.
Here is a line by line breakdown of the speech's most significant moments and the context behind them:
For too long, a small group in our nation's capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have bore the cost. Washington flourished, but the people did not share in its wealth. Politicians prospered but the jobs left and the factories closed.
The Establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs. And while they celebrated in our nation's capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.
This narrative is why Trump won the Republican primaries and carried those Midwestern states that gave him his narrow victory over Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama and the Democrats have been touting the falling unemployment rate and other indicators of an improved economy, along with the millions of people who have health insurance thanks to the Affordable Care Act. But what if your life hasn't gotten better in the Obama era? What if you're still struggling, and those supposed gains are invisible? Then Trump's story starts to make sense. Someone must have been benefitting from those Obama policies. Who was it? Those corrupt politicians in Washington, that's who!
That all changes starting right here and right now, because this moment is your moment.
It belongs to you.
...
The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. Everyone is listening to you now.
Bemoaning the state of the nation is a surefire way to propel yourself to high office, of course—in his own first augural address, Obama said that he was taking the presidential oath "amidst gathering clouds and raging storms." But Obama also made nods to diversity, the importance of the country's "patchwork heritage," and the idea that the country had "chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord."
Trump did not call for unity. He doesn't specify who has been "forgotten," but you can fill in the blanks—he means his supporters, people who tend to live in places that are whiter, older, and less educated than other parts of the US. The notion that drove his candidacy is that he'll be a better president for those Americans than Obama was. The billion-dollar question is how he'll try to achieve that.
Americans want great schools for their children, safe neighborhoods for their families, and good jobs for themselves.
These are just and reasonable demands of righteous people and a righteous public.
But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists.
Here is where Trump is about to get specific.
Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities, rusted out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation.
An education system flush with cash but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge.
It should be pointed out that the notion that the US education system is "flush with cash" is flat-out wrong, but it helps advance Trump's agenda of privatizing American schools. But it's also worth talking about how Trump wants to combat poverty and create jobs. From the bare-bones plans on the new White House website, it looks like Trump's answer is basically the GOP's traditional answer to everything: Cut taxes and eliminate regulations. Is that going to help inner city poverty? Is that going to reverse the long-term trends that have devastated American manufacturing?
And the crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential. This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
Trump does not explain how to stop this "American carnage," but his White House website again clarifies: He wants more cops on the street, more deportations, more guns in the hands of citizens, and an end to the country's supposed "anti-police atmosphere." Trump doesn't talk much about the war on drugs, but it's hard to imagine him de-escalating it.
From this day forward, it's going to be only America first, America first. Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs will be made to benefit American workers and American families. We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our product, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.
Protection will lead to great prosperity and strength. I will fight for you with every breath in my body, and I will never ever let you down.
Protectionism is the big issue on which Trump and the Republican Party disagree—Trump wants to impose taxes on foreign-made goods, which would make many products more expensive but also theoretically convince more companies to keep production within America's borders. The markets were a little nervous about this.
We will build new roads and highways and bridges and airports and tunnels and railways all across our wonderful nation.
We will get our people off of welfare and back to work, rebuilding our country with American hands and American labor.
Trump talks a lot about the need for more infrastructure, and Democrats also favor spending on infrastructure. But there's no plan on paper right now, and it appears Trump wants to make use of public-private partnerships where companies (for instance) build roads, then collect tolls on them in order to turn a profit—not the sort of thing congressional Democrats are likely to endorse.
We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the earth.
After infrastructure, Trump pivots to foreign policy. For years, Obama avoided saying that the US was at war with "radical Islam," an avoidance that enraged conservatives. So this line was red meat for hawkish Republicans. And by pitting "the civilized world" against this foe, and using language like "eradicate completely from the face of the earth," Trump was giving his implicit stamp of approval to the idea that the conflict with ISIS, al Qaeda, and other terrorist groups is a "clash of civilizations"—which, not incidentally, is the same worldview that those groups embrace.
At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America, and through our loyalty to our country we will rediscover our loyalty to each other.
When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice.
When many people, including Obama, talk about fighting racism, they emphasize the hard work that goes into it. Centuries of slavery and institutional discrimination and anti-minority violence do not just vanish—to eradicate these effects take concerted action and careful thought. It's not about what's in individual hearts, either, it's about how systems press down on minorities and women in ways that they don't press down on white men.
Trump doesn't exactly reject all of this, but he doesn't seem to really care about it, either. If you're a patriot, you're not a racist, therefore the only work you need to do is "open your heart to patriotism." It seems simple.
When America is united, America is totally unstoppable. There should be no fear. We are protected, and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement. And most importantly, we will be protected by God.
Even in relatively anodyne-sounding parts of this speech, Trump makes it clear that he is speaking to some people and not to others—for instance, he is not speaking to the people who do not feel protected by law enforcement.
We stand at the birth of a new millennium, ready to unlock the mysteries of space, to free the earth from the miseries of disease, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow.
So, wait, Trump is into going to space? Yes, he is. But, more generally, when Trump talks about all of these achievements, he is talking about American corporations doing these things, not American government.
Not included in his speech is his administration's reported plans to cut the federal budget, which would eliminate a lot of funding for scientific research, particularly any research into climate change.
So to all Americans in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, from ocean to ocean, hear these words: You will never be ignored again. Your voice, your hopes and your dreams will define our American destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.
This is the song of the populist. The difficulty for Trump is that he is not an especially popular populist, with struggling approval ratings and an electoral win that came despite losing the popular vote by more than 3 million. Trump's agenda, from protectionism to budget cuts to repealing Obamacare, seems set in stone. But what happens if those voices from the mountains and oceans tell him they'd like him to stop?
"¡Yo nunca pedí que me trajeran al mundo!". Quizá alguna vez, en un arrebato de angustia adolescente, les hayamos gritado eso a nuestros padres. Pero, ¿qué pasaría si hacemos un examen más profundo de esta afirmación en lugar de considerarla solo parte de una etapa de la vida? ¿Qué pasaría si la lleváramos hasta su inevitable conclusión: que moralmente está mal tener hijos?
Bienvenidos al antinatalismo, una rama (antiguamente muy oscura) de la filosofía que ha despertado todo un culto online. Aunque la decisión de no tener hijos cada vez está más extendida, los antinatalistas van más allá de simplemente no querer reproducirse por motivos personales o relacionados con el medio ambiente. Según el foro de Reddit /r/antinatalism, estas personas le "asignan un valor negativo al nacimiento" y creen que, como el mundo está tan lleno de sufrimiento, no es justo obligar a otra persona a venir a él.
Finalmente, defienden la extinción de la raza humana.
Laura, de treinta años y dueña de la cuenta de Twitter @roxanne_cams, es una de las defensoras del movimiento más activas en Internet. Además de tuitear todos los días acerca de sus creencias, también le gusta iniciar debates mientras trabaja como camgirl. "Probablemente soy la primera y única modelo de webcam antinatalista del mundo", se ríe. "He tenido debates sobre el tema por todo Internet".
Como la mayoría de personas con las que he conversado sobre el tema, dice que esa siempre ha sido su visión. Incluso se consideraba antinatalista antes de que supiera que existía una palabra para denominarla. "Desde que era una niña, he estado segura de que no quiero tener hijos", explica. "Pero sabía que había algo más profundo en ese sentimiento, más allá [de que no tener hijos] significaba más dinero o más tiempo libre... Simplemente tenía la extraña sensación de que había algo malo en el hecho de vivir". Cuando sus búsquedas en Google la llevaron al antinatalismo, vio que "básicamente resumía todo lo que había sentido durante toda mi vida".
Según Kenqwi, moderador en el subreddit sobre antinatalismo, la mayoría descubre la comunidad de la misma manera. "Los nuevos miembros normalmente escriben un post de presentación diciendo lo increíble que es tener por fin una palabra para denominar sus convicciones", afirma. "Tenemos 4.000 suscriptores, un número relativamente pequeño, pero somos una comunidad muy activa".
El término "antinatalismo" fue acuñado por primera vez por David Benatar, profesor de filosofía en la Universidad de Ciudad del Cabo. Su libro Better Never to Have Been es el texto fundacional de este movimiento. Aunque se considera una posición atípica dentro de los círculos filosóficos, recibió un inesperado empuje promocional cuando el creador de True Detective, Nic Pizzolatto, lo citó como inspiración para el nihilista personaje del Detective Rust Cohle.
"En cierto sentido la serie ha hecho más por el movimiento que cualquier otra cosa", cuenta Paul Ennis, profesor adjunto de filosofía en la Universidad de Dublín. "Anteriormente, solo se encontraba a un montón de oscuros antinatalistas en la esquina más polvorienta de la biblioteca. Ahora puedes ver transcripciones de sus obras en Reddit". Con frecuencia, los antinatalistas publican gifs de Cohle o comparten videos en los que sale él debatiendo por qué la conciencia humana es un error.
Pero aunque es normal que los futuros padres piensen en el tipo de vida que podría llevar su hijo, ¿por qué llevarlo a tan extrema conclusión? ¿Por qué defender la extinción humana en lugar de pensar, por ejemplo, en la reducción de la población?
"Estoy a favor de la extinción porque creo que la sensibilidad expone a todo el mundo al sufrimiento, ya sean humanos o animales", explica Laura. "Ya sé que es poco realista, pero estoy en contra de la creación porque es básicamente jugar con la vida de otra persona". Otra antinatalista que se llama a sí misma Charlotte afirma que ella simplemente piensa que la extinción "sería más positiva. Sería más positiva para los humanos y definitivamente mucho más positiva para el medio ambiente".
La comunidad no comparte necesariamente una posición política."Yo diría que la mayoría de antinatalistas son apolíticos, porque tienen un problema con la vida misma y no creen que haya un sistema que funcione", explica Kenqwi. Sin embargo, hay algunos temas comunes que les preocupan: el ecologismo, los derechos reproductivos y el horror ante la inminente presidencia de Trump se debaten con frecuencia.
Savannah, que tiene 21 años y nunca ha querido tener hijos, fue introducida al antinatalismo a través del que ahora es su marido: "Al principio pensé que era un poco triste, pero después del año que hemos tenido en política me ha empezado a gustar esta filosofía". Viviendo en Kentucky, Estados Unidos, en lo más profundo del "Cinturón Bíblico", a menudo tiene que luchar contra la cultura antiabortista y provida que la rodea.
"Según el dicho, lo único que tienes que hacer en esta vida es pagar tus impuestos y morir... Pero ahora pareciera que lo que tienes que hacer es pagar tus impuestos, tener un hijo y morir", dice, con un suspiro. El marido de Savannah encontró hace poco un médico dispuesto a realizarle una vasectomía, después de haber sido rechazado varias veces por doctores que le aseguraban que "cambiaría de opinión". Tienen planeado celebrar el evento con una fiesta de la vasectomía: "Beberemos champaña y vino y serviremos una tabla de quesos para celebrarlo con mucho trago. Mi familia está totalmente obsesionada con continuar con el linaje y mis papás con ser abuelos, así que me resulta muy difícil hablar del tema con ellos".
Los antinatalistas no solo deben discutir su punto de vista con los amigos y la familia. Como es de esperar, también reciben una gran cantidad de comentarios negativos en Internet. Laura y Charlotte dicen que el comentario más común de los trolls es: "¿Por qué no se suicidan primero ustedes?"
"Para mí, esa respuesta pronatalidad muestra una auténtica falta de empatía", dice Laura. "El suicidio es doloroso y la mayoría de antinatalistas no desea que sus familiares hagan algo parecido. No queremos contribuir todavía más al sufrimiento".
Sin embargo, la depresión y los pensamientos suicidas parecen ser algo común entre la comunidad. "Mi impresión es que la mayoría de nuestros miembros están de acuerdo con el suicidio, si es que se puede expresar así", señala Kenqwi. "Porque ese es nuestro pensamiento común: como no tuvimos elección a la hora de nacer, al menos deberíamos tener poder de decisión sobre cómo y cuándo queremos morir".
Charlotte añade: "Creo que algunas personas deprimidas podrían sentirse atraídas por el antinatalismo porque es la primera vez que oyen a alguien decir que el modo en que ellos ven el mundo es el correcto, pero no es necesario estar deprimido para creer en esto. Aun así, creo que las personas deprimidas son realistas. Creo que nuestra cultura menosprecia a los depresivos sin escuchar lo que tienen que decir".
Pero, ¿no es una lucha ver la vida como algo tan intrínsecamente doloroso? "Tener esta visión del mundo no es fácil", admite Charlotte. "Resulta difícil no hundirse en la desesperación, pero en cierto modo me ayuda a apreciar las pequeñas cosas ―como una taza de té, o un paseo por el campo―, porque no estoy constantemente esforzándome por alcanzar el siguiente nivel de felicidad. No me preocupa mi legado. Sé que la vida carece de sentido".
Ennis afirma que no cree que el antinatalismo, como filosofía, sea especialmente de ayuda para sus seguidores. "Yo consideraría la posibilidad de desmarcarme de esos pensamientos no tan beneficiosos", aconseja. "Hay algo un poco sombrío en organizarse en torno a un conjunto de ideas que te recuerdan lo inútil que es tu vida. Sin embargo, hay momentos en los que solo saber que otras personas comparten tu punto de vista ya sirve de ayuda".
La psicoterapeuta y consejera de pareja Hilda Burke dice que si oyera a un cliente expresar estas ideas, le interesaría explorar si son indicativas de algún tipo de trauma vital. "En cierto sentido es como el budismo, es la idea de que la vida es sufrimiento", afirma. "Sin embargo, también es una forma bastante inmadura de ver el mundo, es todo blanco o negro. Cualquier forma de extremismo es preocupante".
Pero muchos antinatalistas son tajantes cuando afirman que para ellos ya no hay vuelta atrás. "Intento ver el otro punto de vista, pero una vez miras el mundo de esa manera, es realmente difícil volver", dice Laura. Y Kenqwi admite: "Siempre estoy dispuesto a rechazar estas ideas, siempre espero que haya un argumento provida que me convenza. Porque, sinceramente, no es fácil tener esta filosofía. Puedes llegar a sentirte muy solo".
Este artículo fue publicado originalmente en Broadly, nuestra plataforma dedicada a las mujeres.
Dacă ești pasionat de schi ca mine și te-ai dat la viața ta pe ceva pârtii bune, știi despre ce vorbesc. În primul rând, despre acele cârduri de copilași cu niște schiuri lungi cât antebrațul tău, care coboară pârtia mai bine decât tine, în frunte cu un el sau o ea, monitorul care le deschide calea și le strigă chestii de genul „Ia-o pe urmele mele". A se înțelege, acele urme sunt niște S-uri desenate încet pe jumătate de pârtie, fix prin fața ta.
Pentru oricine vrea să rupă norii și să se dea în legea lui, ca la propria competiție de schi, intersectarea cu instructorii și elevii lor care alunecă un pic mai rapid decât melcul, poate fi enervantă. La fel cum e să vezi că niște țânci care d-abia au învățat să vorbească se dau mai bine pe pantele abrupte decât tine, unul care le-ai putea fi părinte.
Mai sunt și acei monitori cu elevi mai în vârstă decât ei, pe care îi vezi cum învață să se dea în plug pe la baza pârtiilor, cu picioarele nesigure și fără siguranța de sine a picilor care coboară în viteză pe lângă tine.
Am vrut să aflu cum se vede treaba și din partea cealaltă, așa că am vorbit cu trei dintre cei mai buni instructori de schi de pe Valea Prahovei.
Aventuri extreme cu copii luați pe sus de vânt
Sonja Drăgan, 30 de ani, Sinaia, monitor de schi din 2004
Fotografie de Adrian Stoica
„Cea mai nasoală experiență ca monitor a fost acum câţiva ani, când eu și elevii mei am rămas blocaţi pe munte timp de câteva ore. Am apucat să luăm telecabina şi să ajungem la 2 000 de metri, am ieşit afară din staţia de telecabină şi în următoarele cinci minute vremea s-a schimbat radical. A început un viscol de nu puteai să stai în picioare. Iniţial, până să înceapă mai rău, am vrut să îi cobor pe schiuri, dar în momentul în care am văzut că practic vântul îi ia pe sus, ne-am întors şi i-am dus la adăpost în staţia telecabinei.
Ne-am numărat printre norocoşi atunci, pentru că au rămas oameni blocaţi în mai multe instalaţii, iar în staţiile de telecabină s-a creat un haos de nedescris. Oamenii au intrat în panică şi nu înţelegeau de ce nu funcţionează instalaţiile pentru că ei voiau să coboare. În vreo trei ore, vântul s-a potolit şi cei de la telecabină au reuşit să pornească instalaţia."
Ciprian Staicu, 32 de ani, Buşteni, campion mondial de skiboard
Ciprian e cel în albastru
„Fac schi alpin de la trei ani și sunt monitor de pe la 13 ani, când unul dintre antrenori ne-a îndrumat să mergem pe pârtie după antrenamente, să dăm lecţii pentru bani de cantonamente în străinătate. Mi s-au întâmplat multe chestii pe care le-am putea numi extreme.
O astfel de situație am trăit-o când un copil pe care-l învățam să schieze a plecat drept din vârful pârtiei, fără a mai controla în vreun fel schiurile, iar eu am reușit să-l prind la o distanţă destul de mare. Alți elevi cad pe cozile schiurilor şi acestea fiind poziționate drept, la vale, cu greu reușești să îi prinzi. Sau mai sunt cei care depărtează schiurile și ajung să facă un mic şpagat.
Teama este iarăși o problemă cu care monitorii au de-a face des. Sunt copii care, din cauza emoţiilor, vomită în fular sau încep să plângă şi vor înapoi la părinţi. Schiurile alunecă necontrolat, la început, și asta îi sperie foarte tare."
Rider Toma, 40 de ani, Sinaia, pionier snowboarding românesc (1988)
Fotografie de Adrian Stoica
„Cum vremea pe munte este foarte schimbătoare, în zona alpină, la 2000 de metri altitudine, o zi superbă cu soare s-a transformat în furtună cu vânt de peste 120 km/h şi am fost nevoiţi să ne căutăm adăpost la o cabană. Pe vreme rea nu-ţi vezi nici schiurile, iar pentru începători e un moment de panică. Le-am spus elevilor mei să-şi tragă fesul pe ochi şi să urmeze comenzile mele și am făcut un fel de blind session până la destinație."
Cel mai enervant cursant și cei mai buni elevi
Sonja Drăgan
Fotografie de Adrian Stoica
„Cu siguranță cel mai enervat tip de client este cel care crede că, dacă te-a plătit, eşti un fel de sclav pentru el. Panica şi viteza sunt chestii care se pot gestiona, dar lipsa bunului simț şi respectul mai greu. Nu sunt feministă, dar fetele, câteodată, sunt mai curajoase şi mai ambiţioase decât bărbaţii. În cazul copiilor depinde: unii sunt fricoşi, alţii no fear at all."
„De regulă, copiii sunt cei mai buni elevi, aceştia fiind şi puţin «inconştienţi» şi fără să se gândească încontinuu că vor cădea. Îmi este, deci, mult mai ușor să lucrez cu un copil decât cu un adult în jurul vârstei de 30-40 de ani, ultimii fiind extrem de speriaţi să nu plece acasă cu vreun ghips.
Atât timp cât lecţiile de început sunt monitorizate de o persoană abilitată, cu siguranţă nu vor pleca accidentaţi. În general, cei făcuți pentru schi au o statură medie, nici prea scunzi, nici prea înalți, o greutate potrivită, dar musai o mobilitate bună. Schiorii profi dezvoltă, cu timpul, o musculatură masivă la picioare."
Rider Toma
Fotografie de Adrian Stoica
„Fiecare categorie în parte are particularităţile ei, fie că vorbim de copii sau bărbaţi vitezomani, fie că sunt fete. De exemplu, fetele sunt mai ascultătoare şi conștiincioase, bărbaţii au condiţie fizică mai bună, iar cu copiii este o joacă."
Panică pe schiuri cu copii care își pierd schiurile în zăpadă și schiori kamikaze
Sonja Drăgan
Fotografie de Adrian Stoica
„La noi sunt foarte mulţi schiori şi snowboarderi care au învăţat după cum i-a tăiat capul, cu un prieten care ştie el sau de pe YouTube, fără tehnică, fără control, dar în viteză. Adică nişte pericole, atât pentru ei, cât şi pentru restul.
Acum vreo două săptămâni, în decurs de câteva zile, m-au lovit două persoane pe pârtie, în condiţiile în care eram cu elev şi stăteam pe marginea pârtiei. Prima dată, un copil lăsat de părinţi de capul lui în vârful pârtiei, care nu ştia nici măcar basic. A doua oară, şi cu ceva urmări, a fost la câteva zile după aceea: m-a lovit un «monitor» care nici măcar nu s-a oprit să vadă dacă sunt OK.
Ca reacții, «Alunecăăă!!!!» a fost una dintre cele mai tari pe care le-am auzit, dar nu a fost generată de panică, pentru că nu ducem elevii pe pante abrupte din prima. Pur şi simplu, era fascinat de ideea de alunecare. O altă întâmplare hazlie a fost tot cu kinder foarte fain, pe care l-am scos prima dată în afara pârtiei, în powder. De la prima tură, s-a tăvălit tot şi când l-am întrebat ce s-a întâmplat, mi-a zis că i-au dispărut schiurile în zăpadă, s-a speriat şi de-aia a căzut. A crezut că e magie. Yes, it was magic! The magic powder!"
Ciprian Staicu
„Pericolele reale de pe pârtie sunt cei care pun schiurile pentru prima oară în picioare şi se dau din vârf, ca și cum ar fi un sport simplu, pe care-l pot învăța singuri. Tipii de genul lor ar trebui să meargă întâi la baza pârtiei, să înveţe tehnica de bază cu un monitor de schi, şi apoi să se aventureze de sus. Cu alte cuvinte, să plece acasă fericiți, nu la spital."
Nu știu de tine, dar eu mă bucur după aceste discuții să observ că vitezomanii imbecili care abia au învățat să schieze nu mă deranjează doar pe mine. Dacă tot înveți să te dai singur, ba chiar din vârf, așa cum oamenii ăștia spun că nu e bine, măcar fă-o în siguranță: puțin mai rapid decât melcul.
Citește și altele despre vacanțe de iarnă în România:
