Der Januar zeichnet sich als besonders überflüssiger Monat aus: Weihnachten ist vorbei, Karneval noch nicht da und über die schneematschbedeckten Straßen der Nation stapfen schlecht gelaunte Menschen, die auf die glorreiche Idee kamen, einen Monat lang keinen Alkohol zu trinken und auf Süßigkeiten zu verzichten. Wir drehen die Heizung auf Stufe fünf, lassen Tief Egon über unsere Dächer hinwegfegen und suhlen uns im Jahresanfangs-Elend, indem wir weinend auf unseren Handys die letzten Obama-Videos anschauen.
Es ist ein Wunder, dass bisher noch nicht einmal die AfD eine Volksabstimmung darüber gefordert hat, den Januar abzuschaffen. Einzig allein der Lieblingssender der Nation, RTL, verleiht diesen ersten Wochen im Jahr ein wenig Daseinsberechtigung. Was würden wir tun, gäbe es nicht dieses Dutzend "Promis" (sehr dehnbarer Begriff) im australischen Regenwald, das der Fernsehsender mit maximal Krawall und Remmidemmi aufeinanderhetzt, gefilmt von Hunderten Kameras, damit sich Millionen Zuschauer an ihren Abgründen laben können. Am Freitagabend begann dieses Spektakel erneut, das das Land nun schon zum 11. Mal in Folge zusammenschweißt: das Dschungelcamp.
Zwei Wochen lang erleben die Kandidaten ihre ganz persönliche Detox-Kur gegen fürstliche Bezahlung und Millionen gucken dabei zu. Und weil dieses Kakerlakenessen und lethargisch auf der Pritsche liegen ja seine Längen hat und Fernsehen alleine auf dem Sofa ohnehin etwas langweilig ist, teilen die Deutschen ihre Schadenfreude und ihre Faszination im Netz. Nicht einmal ein Donald Trump, der eine Golden Shower nimmt, wühlt das Internet in Deutschland so auf, wie es die Lieblingssendung der Nation vermag. Wir haben Dschungelcamp gemeinsam mit Twitter, Facebook und Co. geschaut. Und wir haben dabei über das Leben gelernt.
Bildunterschrift: Markus Majowski tritt allein zur Dschungelprüfung an, nachdem Fräulein Menke ablehnt. Foto: Screenshot RTL
In diesem Jahr scheint RTL mal wieder einiges richtig gemacht zu haben, denn bereits in der ersten Folge wurde gelacht, geweint und gestritten. Stein des Anstoßes war nicht zuletzt Kandidat Alexander, der konsequent unter seinem Spitznamen "Honey" auftritt—den bekam er von seiner Ex-Freundin spendiert, der letzten "Germany's Next Topmodel"-Gewinnerin. Sonst hat Honey in der Promi-Welt zugegebenermaßen noch nicht wirklich etwas gerissen. Aber, um im Dschungel ein "Star" zu sein, ist das ja auch gar nicht nötig. Früher waren es B-Promis, mittlerweile ist man bei den Umlauten angekommen. Dem Netz ist das egal: #Honey stürmt die Spitze der Twitter-Trends. Nach zwei Stunden Sendezeit bestehen die dann ausschließlich aus Dschungel-Begriffen.
Dabei ist der Mann, der im Vorspann tatsächlich an einem Glas Honig leckt, und vermutlich gerade unter der australischen Sonne von einem eigenen Wikipedia-Eintrag träumt. Damit ist er im Dschungelcamp wohl nicht der einzige. Sänger Marc Terenzi oder Model Gina-Lisa Lohfink gehören zu den bekannteren Teilnehmern. Unsere erste These:
Die zweite Chance im Leben kann die erste sein
Was wäre das Dschungelcamp nur ohne gescheiterte Existenzen? Eine Gruppe voller Saubermänner und Vorzeigemenschen ist nicht nur fernab der Realität, sie wäre auch unglaublich langweilig. Die Phrase "Ich gehe ins Dschungelcamp, um mich mal von einer anderen Seite zu zeigen", ist nicht umsonst die wohl am meisten genannte (vermutlich aber nicht immer die ehrlichste) Motivation der Teilnehmer. Wie im Dschungel, gibt es auch im Leben Ups and Downs, sie sind, was die Show am Laufen hält. Wer mal Mist baut, wird im Dschungelcamp vom Zuschauer bestraft, doch danach ist eine zweite Chance immer drin. Es ist nie auszuschließen, dass ein Kandidat, der in den ersten Tagen komplett im Abseits steht, in Woche zwei plötzlich einen Sinneswandel vollzieht und Sympathien ernten kann. Wer weiß, vielleicht klettert Honey am Ende noch den Dschungelthron empor? Momentan glaubt daran niemand. Okay, außer natürlich Honey selbst.
Schadenfreude auszulösen ist wichtiger als Leistung
Wer die Dschungelprüfungen durchzieht und ein ordentliches Ergebnis erzielt, der macht sich in der Gruppe Freunde, schließlich ist das Abendessen damit gesichert. Aber wer schaltet wirklich ein, um zu sehen, wie der Promi bei jeder Prüfung die Höchstpunktzahl erreicht? Eben. Niemand. Nicht umsonst hat sich in den letzten Jahren ein deutliches Schema abgezeichnet: Der Zuschauer stürzt sich in der ersten Woche gern auf einen Kandidaten, der mit den Dschungelprüfungen Probleme hat. Egal ob Georgina Fleur, Larissa Marolt oder Helena Fürst. Die Schadenfreude lässt sich dann von Tag zu Tag steigern, indem man den Teilnehmer weiter quält. Insofern wirkt es fast überraschend, dass Kandidatin Fräulein Menke trotz ihrer nicht angetretenen Essensprüfung vom Zuschauer vor der nächsten Prüfung verschont blieb. Aber nicht etwa, weil der NDW-Star so sympathisch ist, sondern weil ein anderer Kandidat in der Prüfung mehr Furore verspricht.
Mitläufer werden belohnt
Wer als Kandidat merkt, dass er zum Außenseiter wird, hat ein gewaltiges Problem. Ausgegrenzte Personen haben es überall schwer, doch im australischen Regenwald wird es noch ein bisschen unbequemer. Als Teil der Gruppe kann man wunderbar mitschwimmen, von Kandidaten wie Schauspielerin Nicole Mieth oder Fußballweltmeister Thomas "Icke" Hässler hörte man in Folge eins so gut wie kein Wort, dementsprechend konnten sie sich sicher sein, vom Zuschauer nicht in die Prüfung gewählt zu werden. Mitläufer haben es in den ersten Tagen von "Ich bin ein Star—Holt mich hier raus" erstaunlich einfach. Sie müssen einzig das Telefonvoting in Woche zwei überstehen, keine leichte Aufgabe, aber machbar. Der Zuschauer wird im Finale im Zweifel wohl eher einen ruhigen Kandidaten zum Dschungelkönig küren, als den polarisierenden Streithahn.
Doch es dürfte kein Geheimnis für den treuen Trash-TV-Liebhaber sein, dass der wahre Gewinner einer Staffel nicht immer zwangsläufig die Dschungelkrone trägt. Die Social-Media-Welt zeigt unter #IBES: Jeder Zuschauer sucht sich letztlich selbst seine Helden zusammen. Und natürlich auch seine Opfer.
Bildunterschrift: Florian Wess und Gina-Lisa Lohfink, nicht nur optisch die BFFs unter den Dschungelstars | Foto: Screenshot RTL
Wer nicht er selbst ist, wird durchschaut
Es gibt nichts Schlimmeres, als dabei erwischt zu werden, bloß eine Rolle zu spielen. Übersetzt auf das Dschungelcamp bedeutet das aber gleichzeitig auch: Es gibt nichts Unterhaltsameres, als einen Kandidaten dabei zu enttarnen, wie er eine Show abzieht. Legendär war das große Schauspiel rund um Jay Khan und Indira Weis in Staffel 5, als das vermeintliche Pärchen dabei erwischt wurde, wie es sich heimlich absprach, Küsse im Teich zu inszenieren, um beim Zuschauer zu punkten. Es folgte eine Knutscherei im Tümpel, bei der sich das Zusehen anfühlte, als würde man einen Autounfall beobachten. Nach einer Folge ist es natürlich noch etwas zu früh, um die Authentizität der Promis zu beurteilen. Die einzigen Masken, die bisher gefallen sind, waren optischer Natur.
Lästern ist erlaubt. Aber verpönt
Welch schöne Doppelmoral wir Dschungel-Zuschauer uns in den letzten Jahren zurechtgelegt haben: Das Dschungelcamp ist DAS Läster-Format schlechthin, jeder hat eine Meinung zu Hanka, Honey und Florian. Doch wenn die Promis am Lagerfeuer untereinander die Lästerkeule schwingen, denken wir: "Hinterlistig", "frech", "charakterlos". Millionen Deutsche werden zu Hobby-Psychologen.
Das Internet hat in den kommenden 14 Tagen also einiges zu tun. Und Honey braucht nach dem Dschungel eigentlich auch nicht mehr zu arbeiten. Nicht, weil er ausgesorgt hätte, sondern weil er wahrscheinlich das restliche Jahr damit verbringen wird, das gesamte Internet auf "Honey"-Kommentare zu untersuchen. Wir wünschen ihm viel Spaß.
Četrnaestogodišnji Robert Ben Medison je 26. decembra 1979 neočekivano postao kralj, kada je objavio da se narod Talose – zapravo, njegova spavaća soba na drugom spratu u kući u istočnom delu Milvokija – otcepljuje od Sjedinjenih Država.
Malo je verovatno da je ovo dete – kralj moglo da predvidi u šta će se njegova fantazija pretvoriti, ali 37 godina kasnije, Kraljevstvo Talose još uvek postoji i diči se sa par stotina građana sa svih strana sveta. Ima sopstveni jezik, talošanski, koji mnogi od njegovih građana govore tečno; ima potpuno razvijen pravni sistem; i živopisnu, tešku istoriju.
U deceniji koja je usledila nakon osnivanja Talose, Medison je sebi zadao zadatak da osmisli talošanski jezik, čiji rečnik sadrži preko 35 hiljada reči, kao i da napravi okvir za pravni sistem za svoju ustavnu monarhiju. Tokom tih ranih godina, Talosa se sastojala samo od Medisona i par desetina njegovih najbližih prijatelja i članova porodice. Jednom godišnje su se tokom leta u jednom parku u Milvokiju okupljali na „Talosafestu", a Dan nezavisnosti su proslavljali oko 26. decembra. U međuvremenu, Medison i njegovi prijatelji su radili na detaljima svoje fiktivne zemlje, osnivali političke partije, održavali izbore i objavljivali poluzvanične novine.
„Od 1979. do 1996, Talosa je postojala kao potpuno 'stvarna' zajednica, stacionirana isključivo u Milvokiju", kaže mi Medison. Onda je 1996. pokrenuo sajt na internetu preko koga su „ljudi iz celog sveta mogli da se prijave za državljanstvo, iako nisu ni u kakvoj vezi sa zajednicom stacioniranom u Milvokiju".
Ubrzo nakon što je Medison pokrenuo sajt, o Talosi su pisale ugledne novine i časopisi, uključujući i Wired i New York Times. Ova medijska pažnja je dovela do perioda neprevaziđenog talasa „emigracije" u Talosu – više ljudi je pristupilo 1996. nego u prethodnih 17 godina zajedno. Talosa je ove nove građane privukla iz brojnih razloga – lingvisti zainteresovani za talošanski fenomen, ambiciozni političari kojima se dopalo to što mogu smesta da pristupe talošanskoj vladi, i oni kojima se jednostavno dopalo da u društvu drugih neznanaca učestvuju u kolektivnoj fantaziji na forumima na internetu.
Ali ipak, dok se sve više „sajber građana" – građana koji su se pridruživali Talosi preko interneta, a ne u stvarnom životu, u Viskonsinu – pridruživalo Talosi iz svih krajeva sveta, postajali su sve nezadovoljniji načinom na koji je organizovana.
„Glavna tačka sporenja je bilo oko toga što su novi državljani koji su pristupili preko interneta mislili da državljani koji nisu aktivni na sajtu ne bi trebalo da budu Talošani", kaže mi Medison. „Posledica toga je bila da su me mnogi sajber građani optuživali da 'kontrolišem' državljane koji su pristupili pre interneta, i da im ne dopuštam da glasaju za njihove političke partije. 'Ben' je postao simbol za tiraniju, pa čak i za ispiranje mozgova, samo zbog toga što sam govorio u ime većine".
Nezadovoljstvo brojnih Talošana Medisonovom vladavinom navelo ih je da se otcepe i osnuju sopstvenu mikro naciju pod nazivom Republika Talosa, dok je Medison bio na letovanju. Suparničke talošanske frakcije su se nekoliko godina sukobljavale, dok su iz Republike često Medisona i njegove pristalice napadali na ličnom planu. Do 2004, Medison je povratio svoju vlast nad Talosom, posle perioda koji mi je on opisao kao „najtraumatičnije iskustvo u čitavom mom životu – gore od smrti člana porodice i gore od razvoda".
Ali prema Džonu Vuliju, koji je Talosi pristupio 2005. i sada je njen vladajući kralj, stvarnost je komplikovanija.
„Ovo je samo moje viđenje, ali mislim da bi većina ljudi koji imaju veze s Talosom rekli da je srž problema bila Benova ličnost", kaže mi Vuli. „Ben je pametan momak, ali takođe želi i sve da kontroliše. Talosa je bila njegovo čedo, i želeo je da upravlja njome".
Po Vulijevim rečima, internet državljanima Talose je sve više smetala Medisonova nesposobnost da popusti kada je u pitanju njegovo delo, i dozvoli drugima da pomognu u izgradnji zemlje. Po Vuliju, Medison je jednom čak unajmio i privatnog detektiva da pronjuška po nečijem ličnom životu, da bi to iskoristio za političke rasprave o onome što se događa u Talosi.
Kada sam pitao Medisona, on je to kategorički pobijao. Kaže da su on i članovi njegove porodice postali mete brojnih verbalnih pretnji, a njegov kompjuter mera malicioznih hakera, za šta sumnjiči jednog razočaranog Talošanina.
„Moja reakcija je bila, da li je on zaista osoba koja bi pribegla nasilju, ili je to samo hiperbola na internetu", kaže mi Medison. „U nameri da dobijem odgovor na to pitanje, konsultovao sam bazu podataka na internetu, da vidim da li ima krivični dosije. Ispostavilo se da ga zaista ima, i isposlovao sam zabranu prilaska, da bih zaštitio ženu koju je nasilno napao".
Medisonu se na kraju smučio sve veći animozitet u njegovom sada podeljenom kraljevstvu. Kada je u avgustu 2005. abdicirao, proglasio je svog osmogodišnjeg unuka, poznatog kao princ Luis Adam, za vladara kraljevstva. Princ Luis je vladao sve dok njegova majka nije zatražila da Talošani izaberu novog kralja, zato što joj je smetalo to što gomila odraslih muškaraca diskutuje o njenom detetu na internetu.
Do 2007, skoro 30 godina otkako je Talosa osnovana, kraljevstvo se našlo u rasulu i bez vrhovnog poglavara. Budućnost ove mikro-nacije je delovala neizvesno, sve dok Vuli nije izglasan za novog kralja i dok se nije posvetio upravljanju održivom ustavnom monarhijom. Na vlasti je još od tada. Republika Talosa je ponovo pripojena Talosi 2012.
Vuli danju radi kao inženjer za softver, ali noću je kralj Talose. Zahtevnost njegovog položaja varira u zavisnosti od dana – ponekad prođe više nedelja bez ikakvog posla vezanog za Talosu, a ponekad više noći uzastopno satima rešava sukobe u kraljevstvu. Priroda tih sukoba varira, ali da bi mi dao primer koliko položaj kralja Talose može da bude stresan, Vuli se priseća kako je jednom morao da rešava slučaj prevare prilikom glasanja, kada je jedan jedini Talošanin imao više identiteta na internetu, u nameri da pokuša da utiče na rezultat izbora.
„U velikoj meri, teret uspostavljanja monarhije kakve treba da bude je na mojim plećima, i na meni je da se trudim da izbegnem pojavu kulta ličnosti", kaže mi Vuli. „Ne želim da postavim neki loš presedan, koji će se za 50 ili 100 godina vratiti kao bumerang i zeznuti stvar. Kraljevstvo Talosa bi trebalo da bude u stanju da bude stabilno tokom dužeg vremenskog perioda".
Kada sam razgovarao telefonom sa Vulijem, koji se nalazi u Denveru, preko hiljadu i po kilometara od prvobitne postojbine Talose, on mi je rekao da je Talosa za njega sjajan eksperiment u politici i lingvistici, koji je okupio neznance sa svih strana sveta. Ako ništa drugo, pobuna internet državljana 2005. protiv Medisona i Talošana od pre interneta govori o strasti pridošlica za ovaj projekat izgradnje nacije koji je jedan četrnaestogodišnjak započeo u svojoj spavaćoj sobi skoro tri decenije ranije.
Ako je današnja popularnost Talose ikakav indikator, namera talošanskih pobunjenika nije bila da unište Medisonovo delo, već da mu dopuste da procveta kao istinska demokratija. Ali za Medisona, koji danas radi kao cvećar u Milvokiju, rane iz tog doba su i dalje veoma sveže.
„Nemam nikakve sumnje šta se dogodilo 2004. i 2005, u pitanju je bio puč protiv vlasti Talose i njenih državljanja", kaže mi Medison. „Ali došao sam do zaključka da grupa koja je preuzela kontrolu više nije prava Talosa. A mislim da je taj zaključak bio pogrešan. Talosa koja danas postoji je izgleda Talosa koju sam osnovao 1979, i ništa mi ne bi bilo drže od toga da se ponovo pridružim kraljevstvu".
Das erste Mal, als die Engländerin Rachel "Rai" Waddingham eine Stimme hörte, sagte diese, sie solle sich umbringen. Eigentlich war es nicht nur eine Stimme, sondern gleich drei. "Ich übernachtete bei einem Freund und ich hörte, wie diese Männer über mich sprachen, so: 'Sie ist dumm', 'Niemand mag sie' und 'Sie sollte sich umbringen'. Anfangs dachte ich, das sind meine Freunde, weil drei Jungs in dem Haus wohnten, also ging ich runter, um sie zu konfrontieren, aber sie schliefen alle. Das war natürlich sehr seltsam. Außerdem klangen die Männer, als seien sie schon älter."
Waddingham war zu diesem Zeitpunkt 19. Die Stimmen hörten nicht auf, und bald kam sie zu der Überzeugung, jemand beobachte sie durch Kameras. Wer hatte die Ressourcen, um ihr Zuhause zu überwachen? Die Regierung. Und Außerirdische, natürlich. Ihr Geist produzierte eine verquere Logik, in der sie immer überforderter und paranoider wurde und die Menschen in ihrer Umgebung fürchtete. Ein Arzt wies sie schließlich in eine psychiatrische Klink ein, wo man ihr Anfangs die Diagnose Schizophrenie stellte und sie "Unmengen an Medikamenten" nahm, um damit klarzukommen.
Heute, zwei Jahrzehnte später, hört Waddingham etwa 13 Stimmen—das sind mehr als je zuvor. Das ursprüngliche Trio ist noch da und spricht noch immer über sie, aber andere schauen auch regelmäßig vorbei. Wie Bunny, eine neugierige und lustige Fünfjährige ("sie reißt ständig Witze"). Der große Unterschied ist, dass Waddingham sich nicht länger als psychisch krank sieht. Oder besser gesagt, nicht so, dass es sie davon abhält, ihr Leben zu leben wie eine gesunde Person auch. "Als ich in der Klinik war, hatte ich Todesangst vor meinen Stimmen, weil sie mein Selbstwertgefühl und meine Selbstsicherheit abgetragen haben", sagt sie. "Ich höre heute dieselben Stimmen wie vor Jahren, aber sie zerstören mich nicht auf dieselbe Weise. Ich schenke den Aussagen der Stimmen keinen buchstäblichen Glauben mehr. Ich glaube ihnen stattdessen symbolisch."
Leute, die Stimmen hören, rufen in Menschen, bei denen das nicht der Fall ist, häufig Misstrauen und Angst hervor, doch das Phänomen ist weitaus verbreiteter, als du vielleicht denkst: Zwischen vier und acht Prozent der Menschheit erleben, was Fachleute als "auditive verbale Halluzinationen" bezeichnen. Das sind bis zu 600 Millionen Menschen weltweit. Es gibt auch Forschung, die nahelegt, dass etwa 40 Prozent von uns im Laufe unseres Lebens Stimmen hören werden. Viele Betroffene führen wie Waddingham ein erfülltes und gesundes Leben. Ein verbreiteter Irrtum ist auch, dass Menschen, die Stimmen hören, eine Form der Psychose haben—dieser Eindruck ist sicher nicht zuletzt reißerischen Schlagzeilen über "gefährliche Schizophrene" geschuldet.
Eine Psychose mag eines der häufigsten Probleme von Stimmenhörern sein, doch bei den meisten wird nicht einmal Schizophrenie diagnostiziert. Für diese Leute kann das Stimmenhören auch eine tägliche Erfahrung sein, die sie nicht wirklich einschränken oder sich wie Krankheit anfühlen muss.
Wie bei Nikki Mattocks, die im Alter von 14 zum ersten Mal Stimmen hörte. Fünf Jahre später hört sie bis zu 20 verschiedene Stimmen pro Tag. "Es ist sehr verwirrend", sagt sie. "Sie sagen Dinge wie: 'Du bist hässlich', 'Du bist fett', 'Du bist dumm'. Ich hatte früher schreckliche Angst, bekam Panikattacken und versuchte, mich umzubringen, nur um sie loszuwerden. Aber jetzt habe ich mich dran gewöhnt. Ich gehe meinen Leben nach wie alle anderen. Ich höre sie jetzt gerade auch, aber ich rede einfach weiter mit dir, weil ich gelernt habe, wie man damit umgeht."
Manchmal sind die Stimmen so laut, dass Mattocks nicht hören kann, was ihre Freunde sagen, aber dann sitzt sie einfach schweigend da, bis es nachlässt. "Ich habe sehr geduldige Freunde", lacht sie. Alkohol ist ein unberechenbarer Faktor. "Neulich war ich im Club, und die ersten zwei bis drei Stunden waren großartig", erklärt sie. "Aber als ich langsam wieder nüchtern wurde, fühlte ich mich wieder scheiße.
Die Stimmen werden nicht netter, wenn ich betrunken bin, nur ein bisschen seltsamer. Sie können auch zu Geräuschen werden—ich höre zum Beispiel ohne Vorwarnung einen Knall, als würden sie versuchen, mich zu erschrecken." Um damit fertigzuwerden, geht Mattocks nie ohne Kopfhörer aus dem Haus. Sie zieht einen Vergleich zum Stöpsel im Waschbecken, der das Wasser am Ablaufen hindert: Die Musik hält den endlosen Geräusch-Strom an Ort und Stelle, hält ihn zurück, wenn auch nur für kurze Zeit. Waddingham hat die Erfahrung gemacht, dass es hilfreich ist, Dinge aufzuschreiben oder direkt mit ihren Stimmen zu sprechen. Aber nur in ihrem Kopf: "Leute schauen mich komisch an, wenn ich laut mit ihnen spreche, und das ist doch traurig, oder? Ich sollte mir ein Bluetooth-Headset zulegen, dann merkt niemand überhaupt was."
Als es ihr am schlechtesten ging, war das englische Hearing Voices Network (HVN) ihr eine große Hilfe. Die wohltätige Organisation unterstützt ein Netzwerk aus Selbsthilfegruppen, in denen Menschen frei über ihre Erfahrungen sprechen können. Wo traditionelle Ansätze Symptome mit Medikamenten unterdrücken, ermutigt HVN die Betroffenen, ihre Beziehung zu den Stimmen zu erforschen und zu ändern.
Für Waddingham hat dieser Ansatz funktioniert. "Jetzt beruhige ich meine Stimmen. Ich sage also: 'Danke, dass du mir Bescheid sagst, dass ich etwas ängstlich bin. Ich denke, ich bin in Sicherheit, aber ich werde die Augen offenhalten.' Wenn ich sie zur Kenntnis nehme, werden sie ruhiger."
Illustration von Joe Bish
Das HVN ist Teil des viel größeren International Hearing Voices Movement (HVM), das seine Botschaft weltweit verbreitet. 1987 in den Niederlanden von den Psychiatern Prof. Marius Romme und Dr. Sandra Escher gegründet, versteht sich die Organisation als Bürgerrechtsbewegung. Anstatt Experten entscheiden zu lassen, was los ist, kann die Person, die Stimmen hört, selbst entscheiden, welche Hilfe sie benötigt. Es geht darum, die Diskussion des Themas zu fördern, und auch wenn die Verbindung zwischen dem Stimmenhören und traumatischen Erfahrungen ausgiebig belegt ist, akzeptiert das HVM alle Erklärungen für das Phänomen als bedeutungsvoll.
Waddingham erlitt zum Beispiel als Kind jahrelang sexuellen Missbrauch. Der Missbraucher gehörte nicht zur Familie, doch sie fraß alles in sich hinein, bis sie anfing zu studieren. Bei Menschen, die Traumata überlebt haben, besteht ein viel größeres Risiko des Realitätsverlusts, Stimmenhören und Angst treten häufiger auf. "All meine Stimmen sind abgespaltene Teile von mir", erklärt Waddingham. "Ich hatte Jahre damit zugebracht, all diese Gefühle zu unterdrücken, und das hat mir letztendlich diese großen Schwierigkeiten bereitet. Ich hatte so viel Schlechtes über mich verinnerlicht, das gar nicht zu mir gehörte."
In der Zukunft möchte sie genau das gerne ändern. Aktuell erklären wir einfach nur die Symptome, wenn wir über die Diagnose sprechen: Jemand steckt in einem Stimmungstief, weil er Depressionen hat. Wir fragen nicht: Woher kommt das Stimmungstief? Was ist in seinem Leben los? Zwar sind wir inzwischen besser darin, über Angstgefühle und Depressionen zu sprechen, doch Stimmenhörer sehen sich noch immer einem schweren Stigma gegenüber. "Für einige Leute geht das anscheinend einen Schritt zu weit", erklärt der 31-jährige Jaabir, der letztes Jahr etwa sechs Monate lang Stimmen gehört hat.
Er hat seit seiner Teenagerzeit mit psychischen Problemen zu kämpfen, und auch der frühe Tod seines Vaters setzte ihm sehr zu. "Es ist in Ordnung, wenn man eine Angststörung hat, oder Depressionen oder eine Borderline-Persönlichkeitsstörung. Das können die Leute irgendwie noch nachvollziehen. Aber Stimmen? Das ist ganz schon fertig." Es ist auch sehr wichtig, das Vorurteil auszuräumen, Menschen, die Stimmen hören, seien gewalttätig, sagt Mattock. "Ich höre verdammt viele Stimmen, aber ich habe noch nie im Leben eine gehört, die mir gesagt hat, dass ich jemand anderem körperlich schaden soll. Und selbst wenn, würde das nicht heißen, dass ich das auch tun würde."
Angesichts der vorherrschenden Vorurteile haben wir offensichtlich noch einen langen Weg vor uns, bis das Stigma abgebaut ist. Aber wenn du auch schon eine Stimme gehört hast oder hörst, dann gibt es eine vernünftige Antwort darauf: Lass uns darüber sprechen. Wenn sich mehr Leute zu Wort melden und sagen "Ich höre Stimmen, na und?", können wir vielleicht endlich das "Verrückten"-Stigma abbauen.
Doch langfristig sollten wir uns ein weiteres Ziel setzen, das etwas schwerer zu erreichen sein wird: "Viele Dinge in unserer Welt können die verstörende Erfahrung des Stimmenhörens auslösen: [Gewalt-]Traumata natürlich, aber auch [Traumata von] Armut, Rassismus, Mobbing und anderen Angriffen", erklärt Waddingham. "Ich will einfach, dass wir eine Gesellschaft haben, die Leute nicht kaputtmacht."
Από τα κοιμητήρια της Αναστάσεως του Κυρίου στην Ανατολική Θεσσαλονίκη, μία φοβερή θέα απλώνεται κάτω προς το αεροδρόμιο έως και την Περαία. Η κηδεία του Έλληνα πρέσβη στη Βραζιλία Κυριάκου Αμοιρίδη, ο οποίος δολοφονήθηκε στο Ρίο Ντε Τζανέιρο, τελέστηκε δημοσία δαπάνη και με τιμές «εν ενεργεία υπουργού» - το πρωτόκολλο συνήθως εμπεριέχει μία αβάσταχτη ειρωνεία.
Οι επίσημοι που ανηφόρισαν το μεσημέρι της Κυριακής στο κεντρικό νεκροταφείο της Θεσσαλονίκης για την κηδεία του Αμοιρίδη ήταν περισσότεροι από τους συγγενείς της οικογένειας. Την κυβέρνηση εκπροσώπησε ο αναπληρωτής υπουργός Περιβάλλοντος, Σωκράτης Φάμελλος, ενώ παρέστη και ο υφυπουργός Εξωτερικών, Γιάννης Αμανατίδης. Επίσης, εκεί ήταν ο Πρόεδρος της Ένωσης Κέντρου Βασίλης Λεβέντης, εν ενεργεία και επί τιμή πρέσβεις, ανώτεροι αξιωματικοί των ενόπλων δυνάμεων και υπάλληλοι στο διπλωματικό σώμα.
Το φέρετρο που μετέφερε τη σορό του πρέσβη ήταν τυλιγμένο με την ελληνική σημαία. Στα πηγαδάκια έξω από το εκκλησάκι των νεκροταφείων, πρώην συνάδελφοι του Αμοιρίδη μιλούσαν για τη διπλωματική καριέρα του στο Βελιγράδι, τις Βρυξέλλες, το Ρότερνταμ, την Τρίπολη της Λιβύης -όπου συντόνισε την ασφαλή επιχείρηση απεγκλωβισμού 186 Ελλήνων και ξένων πολιτών το καλοκαίρι του 2014-, την πρόσφατη διοργάνωση διεθνούς συνεδρίου για τον δια-θρησκευτικό διάλογο, τη δεύτερη και μοιραία θητεία στην Μπραζίλια. «Η οικογένεια του Υπουργείου Εξωτερικών θρηνεί την απώλεια ενός εκλεκτού εργάτη της διπλωματίας και αγαπημένου μέλους της», είπε στον επικήδειο ο Γιάννης Αμανατίδης. Η εκπρόσωπος των υπαλλήλων στο διπλωματικό σώμα χαρακτήρισε πλήγμα τον θάνατο του πρέσβη και ζήτησε την πλήρη διαλεύκανση των συνθηκών της δολοφονίας του. Τραγική φιγούρα ήταν η 95χρονη μητέρα του Αμοιρίδη, Πολύμνια, η οποία ακολούθησε τη νεκρική πομπή καθηλωμένη σε καροτσάκι.
Ο αφοσιωμένος διπλωμάτης Κυριάκος Αμοιρίδης θάφτηκε στην «καλή» πτέρυγα των νεκροταφείων της Θεσσαλονίκης. Τριγύρω, πάνω στις υπόλοιπες πλάκες είναι σκαλισμένα τα ονόματα διάφορων προσωπικοτήτων της πόλης. Είχε καταγωγή από τη Βέροια και ήταν μόλις 59 ετών. Για τη δολοφονία του, τις ημέρες των Χριστουγέννων στο προάστιο Νόβα Ιγκουάτσου, έχουν συλληφθεί στη Βραζιλία η σύζυγός του, Φρανσουά, ένας αστυνομικός με τον οποίο φέρεται να διατηρούσε δεσμό, κι ένας συγγενής του τελευταίου που κατηγορείται ότι βοήθησε στην προσπάθεια εξαφάνισης της σορού. Η Φρανσουά είχε αρχικά ομολογήσει την εμπλοκή της στη δολοφονία, όμως προ ημερών ανακάλεσε, υποστηρίζοντας ότι κακοποιήθηκε από αστυνομικούς στο Ρίο.
Αργά το μεσημέρι της Κυριακής, την ώρα που το φέρετρο με τη σορό του Αμοιρίδη αναπαυόταν στον τάφο, η μπάντα του Στρατού έπαιξε ένα πένθιμο σκοπό κι έπειτα το τιμητικό άγημα πυροβόλησε τρεις φορές στον αέρα. Λίγη ώρα αργότερα, προς την έξοδο του μεγάλου νεκροταφείου, ένας αξιωματικός των ενόπλων δυνάμεων έδινε αναφορά, μιλώντας στο κινητό, ότι «όλα κύλησαν κανονικά». Ο χειμωνιάτικος ήλιος γυάλιζε στο βάθος, μακριά στη θάλασσα, και ήταν θεραπευτικός αλλά ταυτόχρονα και πολύ ενοχλητικός για τα μάτια εκείνη την ώρα.
"Ich hätte nie von Scotch auf Martini umsteigen sollen", soll der Legende nach Humphrey Bogarts letzter Satz gewesen sein, der Samstag vor 60 Jahren verstorben ist. Wir wissen nicht, was die letzten Worte waren, die Verschwörungstheoretiker und Journalist Udo Ulfkotte wählte. Ulfkotte erlag am Freitag im Alter von 56 Jahren einem Herzinfarkt. Seine letzten Tweets, die er einen Tag vor seinem Tod absendete, beschäftigten sich mit seinem Lieblingsthema: Ausländern, die angeblich Frauen belästigen und andere Verbrechen begehen.
Früher noch für die FAZ tätig, war Ulfkotte in der jüngeren Vergangenheit vor allem für rechtspopulistische, islam- und ausländerfeindliche Veröffentlichungen bekannt geworden. Anfang 2015 sprach er bei Pegida in Dresden und auch die AfD lud ihn des Öfteren für Reden ein.
Neben dem Tod eines Rechtspopulisten und dem Jahrestag des "größten männlichen, amerikanischen Filmstars aller Zeiten" passierte am Wochenende noch mehr: Erika Steinbach dreht der CDU den Rücken zu, Facebook geht stärker gegen Fake-News vor, ein CDU-Politiker sieht das Ende des Kükenschredderns, ein Mann läuft mit Pistole und "Nazi-Uniform" durch Nürnberg und die AfD vergeht sich an Sophie Scholl—willkommen bei den Hangover-News.
Könnte 2017 das Kükenschreddern vorbei sein?
Bislang werden in Deutschland pro Jahr fast 50 Millionen männliche Küken direkt nach dem Schlüpfen vergast oder geschreddert. Für die Geflügelindustrie sind sie wenig lukrativ: Weder legen sie Eier, noch setzen sie schnell ausreichend Fleisch an. Doch dieser ethisch extrem fragwürdige Tötungsprozess soll laut Bundeslandwirtschaftsminister Christian Schmidt von der CSU schon in diesem Jahr gestoppt werden, da er ein neues Alternativverfahren als marktreif ansieht. Mittels Lasertechnologie soll schon vor dem Schlüpfen das Geschlecht der Embryonen festgestellt werden können: Eier mit männlichen Embryonen sollen damit von der Industrie direkt weiterverarbeitet werden können, während weibliche Embryonen wie gehabt ausgebrütet werden. Motherboard berichtete schon 2015 über diese Technologie. Damals war noch geplant, dass die Bundesregierung 2016 ein Ende des Kükensterbens umsetzt.
Und auch Grünen-Agrarexperte Friedrich Ostendorff sieht in der Ankündigung des CSU-Politikers, der sich das Jahr 2017 als Deadline gesetzt hat, erneut nur leere Versprechungen. Weder sei der Stopp des Kükenschredderns schon in diesem Jahr erreichbar, noch sieht Ostendorff das nötige politische Handeln für den Umstieg auf eine derartige Technologie. Eine Recherche der ZEIT hat zudem ergeben, dass das Verfahren erst 2019 flächendeckend eingesetzt werden könnte.
"Putin von Berghain-Bouncern abgelehnt und Flüchtlinge zünden Kirche an" – Fake-News auf Facebook zu melden wird einfacher
So soll das neue Interface zur Bekämpfung von Fake-News in der mobilen Version künftig aussehen Illustration: Facebook
Ab heute soll es laut Facebook im sozialen Netzwerk anders ablaufen als zuvor: Nach Tests in den USA führt das Unternehmen auch in Deutschland ein neues System ein, um das Problem der Fake-News effizienter in den Griff zu bekommen und gefälschte Beiträge eher als solche zu identifizieren. So ist es jetzt durch einen simplen Klick auf die obere rechte Ecke eines Beitrags möglich, eine Mitteilung als Fake zu melden. Facebook arbeitet ab sofort auch mit den externen Faktenprüfern des Journalisten-Büros Correctiv zusammen, um schneller als bisher gemeldete Beiträge überprüfen zu können. In Zukunft erscheint ein Warnhinweis neben einem als unglaubwürdig eingestuften Beitrag, der diesen sofort entlarvt. Der Facebook-Algorithmus bewertet den Beitrag automatisch als weniger relevant und setzt ihn weiter nach unten in den Feeds der Nutzer—wer einen solchen Post dennoch teilen möchte, muss seine Entscheidung ein weiteres Mal bestätigen.
Erika Steinbach verlässt die CDU und lobt die AfD
Sie kann nur laut: Erika Steinbach, die Twitter-Furie der CDU und ehemalige Chefin des Bundes der Vertriebenen, tritt nach vier Jahrzehnten Mitgliedschaft aus ihrer Partei aus. Immer wieder stellte sie sich gegen Kanzlerin Merkel und deren Flüchtlingspolitik und sorgte vor allem via Twitter auch für den ein oder anderen Shitstorm. So stellte sie den Nationalsozialismus als linke Ideologie dar oder instrumentalisierte Zitate von Helmut Schmidt, um gegen Geflüchtete zu hetzen:
In einem Interview mit der Welt am Sonntag sagte sie jetzt: "Würde ich aktuell CDU wählen? Nein. Würde ich heutzutage gar in die CDU eintreten? Nein. Daraus kann ich nur die ehrliche Schlussfolgerung ziehen, die CDU zu verlassen." Doch zu früh gefreut, wer denkt, dass sich Steinbach nun gänzlich aus der Politik zurückzieht: Ihr Bundestagsmandat möchte sie bis zur Bundestagswahl im Herbst behalten. Und für die AfD hat Steinbach freundliche Worte: "[…] ich hoffe, dass die AfD in den Bundestag einzieht, damit es dort endlich wieder eine Opposition gibt. Nur so bleibt die Demokratie lebendig."
Sie können es nicht lassen – AfD-Facebook-Seite instrumentalisiert schon wieder Sophie Scholl
Und jährlich grüßt die AfD mit einem Sophie-Scholl-Zitat—jedoch lernt sie anders als Bill Murray in Und täglich grüßt das Murmeltiernicht aus ihren Fehlern. Die Facebook-Seite "AfD Nürnberg-Süd/Schwabach" warb an diesem Wochenende mit einem Satz von Sophie Scholl für den Kampf gegen "die Herrscherclique". Ob damit die Bundesregierung, die Lügenpresse oder die komplette deutsche Bourgeoisie gemeint ist, sei dahingestellt.
Hans und Sophie Scholl stellten ihr komplettes Leben zum Kampf gegen die Nazi-Herrschaft. Als Mitglieder der Widerstandsgruppe Weiße Rose verteilten sie Flugblätter und wurden nicht müde, engagiert gegen die Verbrechen des NS-Regimes anzugehen—1943 wurden beide vom Regime hingerichtet.
Auf der Facebook-Seite "AfD Nürnberg" distanziert sich die AfD hingegen von der Seite und vom Post:
"Aus gegebenem Anlass möchten wir ausdrücklich darauf hinweisen, dass wir als AfD Nürnberg-Schwabach mit der Facebookseite einer 'AfD Nürnberg-Süd/Schwabach' nichts zu tun haben. Wir haben keinen Einfluss auf Veröffentlichungen dieser Seite."
Die AfD werde prüfen, ob sie rechtlich gegen diese Seite vorgehen kann. Außerdem halte man den Post für geschmacklos. Das Problem bei der Sache ist jedoch, dass die seit Montagmorgen gelöschte Facebook-Seite "AfD Nürnberg-Süd/Schwabach" auf der Website der AfD Bayern verlinkt ist.
Und so richtig überraschend war der Sophie-Scholl-Post allerdings nicht, denn schon 2015 und 2016 nutzte die Partei Fotos und Zitate der Geschwister Scholl für ihre Zwecke.
Außerdem zeigte bereits Beatrix von Storch 2016 ihr merkwürdiges Faible für die Scholls:
Ob der Post nun ein Fall für Facebooks neue Fake-News-Strategie ist oder doch nur wieder ein Mausrutscher ist, wird sich zeigen.
Betrunkener Nürnberger spaziert mit Pistole und Nazi-Uniform durch die Stadt
Das hat Nürnberg lange nicht mehr gesehen: Am frühen Sonntagmorgen ging bei der Polizei ein Hinweis ein, dass sich ein in einer "Nazi-Uniform" mit deutlich erkennbarem Hakenkreuz gekleideter Mann in der Innenstadt aufhalte. Nach ersten Fahndungsmaßnahmen konnte der Unbekannte jedoch nicht lokalisiert werden, eine Streife entdeckte ihn nach einiger Zeit dann doch vor einem Nürnberger Club. Bei der anschließenden Durchsuchung des 27-Jährigen konnten ein Aufnäher mit Reichsadler und Hakenkreuz sowie eine Schusswaffe sichergestellt werden. Warum sich der junge Mann derart in braune Schale geworfen hat, der im übrigen auch zwei Promille intus hatte, ist bislang ungeklärt. Die Waffe stellte sich als unbrauchbar gemachtes Sammlerstück heraus.
Anstatt sich mit dem Zug zu besuchen, fliegen zwei Britinnen nach Malaga – weil es günstiger ist
Heute ab 50€ zu haben: ein Flug von Birmingham nach Malaga | Screenshot: Google Maps
Wir leben in Zeiten, in denen man für zehn Euro in andere Länder fliegen kann, während eine Bahnfahrt über kurze Wege schnell das Zehnfache kosten kann. Diesen Umstand machten sich zwei britische Freundinnen am vergangenen Wochenende zu Nutze, die 240 Kilometer entfernt voneinander in Birmingham und Newcastle leben. Da die Hin- und Rückfahrt mit der Bahn dort umgerechnet 120 Euro kostet, ein Hin- und Rückflug in das tropischere Malaga allerdings für 22 Euro von Newcastle und für etwa 63 Euro von Birmingham aus zu haben war, entschieden sie sich, 2.000 Kilometer Luftlinie zu überbrücken, um Geld zu sparen. Schöner Nebeneffekt für die beiden waren neben angenehmeren Temperaturen von 20 Grad und günstigen Hostelpreisen die Ersparnisse für Kost und Logis: Essen zu gehen und die Öffentlichen zu benutzen, ist in Spanien deutlich günstiger als in England—dem schlechten ökologischen Fußabdruck zum Trotz verbrachten beide so ein entspanntes Wochenende am Mittelmeer.
The world of cosplayers, goths, steam punkers and LARPers is shadowed from the mainstream in Serbia. Grown-ups who enjoy roleplaying or masking themselves in superheroes and film characters are tightly connected community but many see them as freaks. They tell us what makes them happy in their world of imagination under masks.
Takže pravděpodobnost, že se nikdy nedozvíte úplnou pravdu, je dost vysoká.
„Uměním lhát" se zabývali profesoři z Curtin University v Austrálii. Skupina vědců v čele s prof. Archem Woodsidem se snažila najít způsob, jak odlišit upřímné osoby od těch mazanějších.
Výsledky své studie vědci zveřejnili v časopise Journal of Business Research. Jako tzv. „velké lháře" definují ty, kteří řeknou 12 či více zásadních lží během jednoho roku. Dále zjistili, že nositelem
58 % všech vyřčených lží je13 % lidí. Tím pádem má na svém kontě víc jak polovinu všech lží jenom 10 % populace.
Lidé lžou především sami sobě
Během analýzy vědci získali data od 3 349 testovaných osob žijících ve Spojených státech. Data zahrnovala hlavní etnické skupiny, různé příjmové kategorie obyvatel a rozdílné americké regiony. Podle výsledků se definovali dvě hlavní skupiny „velkých" lhářů. První skupinu tvořili nezadaní, nevzdělaní, nespolečenští a bezdětní muži s pronajatými nemovitostmi. Druhá skupina byly vdané, mladé, bohaté a nespolečenské ženy vlastnící nemovitost.
Podle studie lhaly nejméně nezadané ženy staršího věku (70+). Woodside se domnívá, že důvodem může být „touha být užitečná, přestože pravda může bolet".
Samozřejmě že z vás zaškrtávání políček v testu neudělá lháře. Woodside také připouští, že „pohlaví samo o sobě není při identifikaci lhářů určující, nicméně ve specifických situacích při velkých lžích svoji roli hraje. Některé z těchto situací jsou typické spíše pro ženy a jiné zase pro muže".
K odhalení lhářů Woodside radí: „Srovnávejte to, co dělají, s tím, co tvrdí, že dělají," vysvětluje. „Protože lidé lžou především sami sobě."
„Chcete-li pravdu, pak se bavte s těmi, kterým je 70 let a více," dodává Woodside a přidává další výsledek testu: pět ze šesti starších lidí vám pravdu řekne.
A možná se dá výsledek testu shrnout do jedné věty: Sami sebe tolik neznáme, byť si většina z nás myslí, že ano. A to je asi ta největší lež ze všech.
The internet is a magical and disgusting place. I have met a lot of people from the internet for a lot of different reasons. Some people I have no intention of ever meeting, but still like to know exactly what they're up to at every moment of the day or night. Most of these people are drag queens.
Instagram is how I ended up meeting two of Florida's most impressive and trashiest drag queens. In 2015, I had an art show called Pink Elephants, which featured drawings of homoerotic, anthropomorphic elephants. I had posted some of the drawings on my Instagram, and one day got a DM out of nowhere that said "I am getting one of your drawings tattooed on me tomorrow."
It didn't say which drawing, and wasn't even exactly asking permission (which is what people sometimes do). It just stated it as a fact. It turned out it was one of my naked elephants, and it was tattooed right above the ass of drag queen Lisa Limbaugh. She and her drag sister, Rubber Child, really helped snowball my fixation on the internet drag scene.
If you want a tattoo of that I'll probably get obsessed with you.
I've always been a big fan of drag, but now I basically only follow drag queens (and pigeons) on Instagram. Honestly, I think drag performers are the most talented and innovative contemporary artists working. They consistently inspire me and push both visual and performative boundaries in so many unique ways. My feed is just continuous chain of insane makeup and wigs and costumes. When people complain about their friends posting pictures of their food I sincerely can't relate. Why would you put yourself through that?
RuPaul's Drag Race has inspired an entire generation of queer youth to try their hand at drag. This is great because drag functions as a conduit of self-discovery for a lot of queer people. Becoming someone else in order to find out who you really are is a really powerful thing. Watching someone's growth through online platforms like Instagram is a weirdly voyeuristic journey that can make you feel more personally connected to someone than you actually are (READ: stalker).
The internet is how a lot of queens get recognition and attention. Like I said earlier, I follow like a million queens on Instagram, and it's honestly a really deep wormhole to fall into that you'll never ever escape from (but do it). Both Rubber and Lisa have built a big online fanbase. The exposure you can get yourself online obviously doesn't compare with being a contestant on a popular TV show, but it works.
Drag is a competitive. In a lot of ways, I am happy I observe it from the outside, rather than as a participant. Queens can be cutthroat. Of course there's a sense of community behind it, and its positive qualities will always outweigh its flaws. Being a full-time drag queen takes a fuck of a lot of dedication and perseverance. Watching their hustle is inspiring in itself.
Anyway, since that tattoo a couple years ago, I've gotten close with Lisa and her drag sister, best friend, roommate, and cancerous mole, Rubber Child. Is there a description of when you're friends with someone but you also stan them hard online? I'm whatever that is.
Rubber Child
Rubber and Lisa live in Florida, but get booked to perform in other cities. I went over to Portland last week to watch their show, catch up, and ask them about their thoughts on drag and the internet.
Lisa Limbaugh
VICE: Do politics impact your drag lives? Do you feel the need to be louder in Trump's America? Do you think drag is still a form of subversion and protest of heteronormative society? Lisa Limbaugh: I feel like politics aren't directly involved in my drag life, but they affect my overall life as a drag queen. Politics lately have been setting a different mood in the air in gay clubs and bars. A lot of progress has been made in the past four years that has allowed drag to flourish, and now there's this new fear that all of that could end. I definitely feel like I could, and sometimes should, be louder, given the platform that I have. But it's not something I talk about much on social media. Yes, I think drag is a form of subversion, although it doesn't have to be if that's not what you want to make your drag about. But yes, I think it's in protest, or at least poking fun at heteronormative society.
Rubber Child: Politics totally impact drag, as well as anyone's life, whether they are part of the LGBT community or not. Every single person in America is affected and everyone is kind of going to get fucked over in one way or another. I don't really feel the need to be louder in Trump's America, though, because getting into a screaming match really doesn't accomplish anything with anyone ever, it just makes you look like a toddler, which he does a good enough job doing himself. I feel like drag queens have always kind of been in the forefront of politics regarding issues that are affecting us in our community, so I definitely still think we need to use our voices, we just need to use them in the right way. Drag has become so mainstream now, more than it's ever been before, so we really need to take the opportunities to really educate younger people and even older people that may be confused or misunderstood about their political stance, or what people in political power actually stand for.
I remember you two were booked to perform at Pulse two days after the shooting happened. Did having something so horrific happen so close to your lives affect you? LL: Yeah, it was wild! It left this weird sense of emptiness knowing that we very well could have been there that night. Like you're faced with your own mortality in a way. Also, I'm friends with a bunch of people in Orlando, and it was terrifying not knowing who was safe when I woke up that morning and heard about everything. My mom called me crying because she didn't know if Rubber and I were already there. The whole situation is still terrifying.
RC: That totally affected our lives. It was one of the largest shootings ever, and for it to happen in our community and so close to home really shook everyone. A lot of us were scared to even go out to the club for the next few weeks, because how the fuck are we supposed to feel comfortable standing on stage after something like that? I mean, obviously as time passes, you can't let it ruin your life, but whether you knew someone or not, you were so, so deeply affected, because it really could have happened anywhere, at anytime, to any of us.
What's really fucked up is I think a lot of celebrities didn't give it the attention that it needed, because it didn't directly affect them. They were just an "ally" which sounds fucked up to put in quotes, but I mean a lot of people kept their mouth shut. Like Nicki Minaj, who's got a huge gay fan base. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love Nicki, but bitch should have said something.
I know you have a lot of underage fans. Do you consider yourselves role models, and do you ever censor yourselves because of it? LL: I love my fans so much. I totally consider myself a role model! People are always sending fan art and makeup they did that was inspired by mine, which is so bomb and makes me feel so proud. I don't really censor myself at all, but I don't feel like I need to. If I were to censor myself online I don't think anybody would really be able to get to know me through social media.
RC: Fuck no, I don't consider myself a role model, period. I understand that a lot of kids do look up to me, but if I was to censor myself and change parts of my drive or my personality, then they really wouldn't be looking up to a real person, they would be looking up to a character, and they can fucking watch TV for that. I feel like a lot of people like us because we are real… in drag and out of drag, we are the same in people who we are on the internet. Plus, if I was to censor myself I pretty much be stripped down to nothing. No pun intended because I'm usually naked anyway.
Drag is as much a community as it is a bloodsport. Why do you think drag is so competitive? LL: Drag is so competitive because it's performance art. Like it's entertainment happening in real time (in the clerb and on social media) and there is just so much passion there that it naturally makes it competitive.
RC: I think drag so competitive is because people take it so fucking seriously, and don't give me wrong, it's totally serious, and I take it seriously, but you have to kind of step back every now and then and realize you're not really fucking curing a disease. You're making people laugh, having the time, and you're there to party. I am at least. And a lot of times people see it as some sort of success… whether it be a pageant title, or a TV show, or getting to travel… anything. And if it's not happening to them, they think, "what does that bitch have that makes that happen for her and not me?" Like I don't know, just fucking lucky I guess. Not really, I work hard for things that I have, and I work hard to get places and do certain things, and I'm not gonna let somebody make me feel bad for working hard.
What are your ideal end goals for what you do? LL: I'd like to be able to have drag be my full-time job. Like it would be so much fun to travel around everywhere doing shows and meeting people! And to sound deep, I don't want there to be an end goal! I want the progress to keep on flowing.
RC: Ideally, I would live in a tiny house community full of drag queens with underground tunnels that connect, and we have a giant warehouse of clothes at our disposal that only I'm granted access to. But really, I think it would be cool, and I've been talking with a bunch of my friends and saying this forever, that it would be awesome to do a mini drag tour of girls that haven't had the opportunity to be on the show. Like there's still so many unrecognized girls that are fucking amazing performers and have amazing looks that don't have the platform that some girls have, and don't do anything with it. So I think it would be cool just got a bunch of us together and get to travel to different cities on like a bus, and just show a bunch of people around the country that we're cool.
The girls' Portland show was great. A couple of highlights were Lisa singing Kiss Me , while also opening a can of tuna and spewing it all over herself. Rubber glided around the stage in one of her numbers, handing out straws and little baggies of glitter off of a silver serving platter. Back in their hotel that night, I ask if they do as many drugs as they [post] about online. Laughing, Rubber shouts, "We've never done meth on purpose! Make sure you put that in the article!"
Have you ever stressed over whether to buy the no-name brand of frozen burritos from the supermarket? Is the $4 more for the logo and fancy package really worth it? If so, you'll probably be pretty upset to know that eight of the world's billionaires own as much wealth as half of the entire population of Earth, according to a new report published by Oxfam
The data (which came from Credit Suisse's economic research on wealth distribution in 2016) shows that eight billionaires—totaling a net worth of $426 billion—have as much wealth as 3.6 billion people, who make up the bottom half of the world's economy. Last year, it took 62 of the world's richest to reach that same conclusion.
The eight billionaires, in order of networth, are as follows: Microsoft founder Bill Gates ($75 billion); Fashion business magnate (aka Zara owner) Amancio Ortega ($67 billion); American investor Warren Buffett ($60.8 billion); Mexican businessman Carlos Slim ($50 billion); Amazon head Jeff Bezos ($45.2 billion); Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg ($44.6 billion); Oracle co-founder Larry Ellison ($43.6 billion); and former NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg ($40 billion).
The report notes that the transfer of wealth from the bottom half to a very select few is a hard and complex relationship to understand, but offers a few explanations for the ever-widening wealth gap—pointing to an increasingly-stressed global economy, as well as factors such as climate change and war.
"Unlike extreme wealth at the top, which can be observed and documented through various rich lists, we have much less information about the wealth of those at the bottom of the distribution. We do know however, that many people experiencing poverty around the world are seeing an erosion of their main source of wealth—namely land, natural resources and homes – as a consequence of insecure land rights, land grabbing, land fragmentation and erosion, climate change, urban eviction and forced displacement."
According to the report, most of the world's poorest half resides in live in south-eastern portions of the globe, such as India, Africa, and some parts of Asia. Only one percent of that population resides in North America, and almost half of all billionaires are from the continent.
The data also shows that the growing rift between the world's poorest and richest has no borders: in Canada, David Thomson and Galen Weston—two Canadian billionaires with a net worth of $33.1 billion—own as much wealth as one third of the entire country,
Across the globe, women also take the brunt of the blow when it comes to wealth distribution. In countries like Canada, New Zealand, UK and Australia, women make up over 60 percent of the unpaid work force. Women are 90 percent less likely to earn an equal wage as their male counterparts, and compromise a mere 15 to 20 percent of the top income bracket in western countries.
For what it's worth, the richest woman on earth last year—Liliane Bettencourt, the principal owner of L'Oreal—is worth a rock solid $36.1 billion.
"Worldwide, the chances for women to participate in the labour market remain almost 27 percentage points lower than those for men," the report reads. "Once in the labour market, women are more likely than men to be in jobs not protected by labour legislation. In formal jobs, women consistently earn less than men."
Broke Canadian university students are turning to sugar daddies to offset their costs, according to SeekingArrangement, a dating site that facilitates relationships between sugar babies and sugar daddies.
By the time the average Canadian university student graduates, he or she is saddled with an average of $26,819 in debt—often going on to become jobless or underemployed, i.e. the new economic reality.
But 2016 data from SeekingArrangement shows the number of Canadian university students signing up for a sugar daddy has risen to 206,800, up from 150,000 in 2015, a 37% increase. All but 11, 238 are women. (There are 631,678 Canadian users overall, 65 percent of whom are female.)
The website operates by pairing up young people with sugar daddies or mommies—"successful men and women who know what they want." The couples then set out their expectations, which often include an allowance given to the sugar baby. For Canadian students, 39 percent of the average $2,700 monthly allowance goes toward tuition, while 30 percent goes to rent, and 21 percent to books.
"Some see this as a controversial solution. But, instead of waiting for the government to take action, these students are taking matters into their own hands," SeekingArrangement founder Brandon Wade said in a press release.
In terms of new sign-ups, the fastest growing Canadian schools of 2016 were the University of Alberta (138), Ryerson (135), and University of Ottawa (132), while enrollment is highest at University of Toronto (683), Ryerson (577), and University of Guelph (554). The top three sugar baby majors are nursing, business, and performing arts.
Students who join with their school email are considered part of "Sugar Baby University" and are given a "free premium membership."
According to Statistics Canada, undergraduate students paid an average of $5,959 in tuition in 2014/2015, up from $5,767 the year prior. Those numbers are highest in Ontario, where undergrad students pay about $7,539 annually. Women account for 60 percent of Canadian undergrad degree holders.
While it's easy to see the appeal of having a sugar daddy, the relationships don't always go as planned.
Jenna (not her real name), 29, told VICE she became a sugar baby in 2015 to help pay her bills. At the time, she was working as a production assistant for a fashion designer in New York City—her rent in a shared house was $1052.88 CAD a month while her cellphone bill was about $150.
"I could cover my rent and maybe phone bill but couldn't really pay for anything else," she said.
The first daddy she came across, who said he'd previously paid for a woman's college tuition, offered her a weekly salary.
"I was into that kind of arrangement," she said, "but I just couldn't do it… He was in his 50s and did not work out or anything nor was he attractive."
Soon after though, she settled on a 48-year-old real estate developer, who paid her rent, meals, and took her on a trip to Vieques, Puerto Rico where they stayed at Hix Island House, the same luxury retreat Lady Gaga reportedly visited. He also spent more than $1,000 in sex toys for the two of them and lingerie. In the six months they were together, Jenna estimates her sugar daddy spent around $25,000 on her. In exchange, she said she would have sex with him four to five times a week—usually dominating him.
"You are getting money in exchange for sex," she said. "That's the definition of prostitution."
Universities with the most new sugar babies. Screenshot via SeekingArrangement
But things went south because Jenna said her sugar daddy was in denial about the nature of their relationship, and wanted her to act like a "real girlfriend."
"He'd get jealous and he was controlling," she said. "Whenever I wasn't with him he'd constantly blow up my phone calling and texting me asking me so many questions about what I was doing at that moment. I felt interrogated."
However, she noted that she doesn't believe all sugar daddies are like that, and even said she almost went with a friend to meet a different client, who was offering them "$1,000 to do coke and suck his dick."
"You can make a lot of money and some girls just love the attention and lifestyle," she said.
SeekingArrangement spokeswoman Alexis Germany said prostitution is strictly against the site's rules.
"Prostitution is strictly transactional where someone is paid for sexual services, whereas a Sugar Baby is in a relationship with their Sugar Daddy. Oftentimes, arrangements evolve into romantic relationships, and even marriage," she said.
Doug Hoyes, co-founder of Hoyes Michalos personal insolvency firm, told VICE 60 percent of people who go bankrupt due to student loans are women, and that women tend to owe more money than men.
He recommended students entering university think carefully about whether or not they're going to have a job by the time they graduate.
"If there isn't going to be a job or it's going to be a job that won't allow you to pay back your loan, maybe you're better off going to school part time," he said.
When it was time to choose a pediatrician for his then two-year-old son, Brooklyn-based photographer Ruddy Roye was determined to find one who shared his black and Jamaican roots. He scoured catalogs and listings, but when he tracked the right one down, the doctor was mystified. He couldn't quite grasp why Roye, who travels the world shooting for major magazines and newspapers, would spend so much time searching for a doctor with his own background. But as the photographer told me, "There was no other way to explain to this educated man why I chose him other than what happened the first day my son was inoculated."
As the black and Jamaican doctor tried to keep Roye's child's attention away from the needle that day, he asked the boy what he wanted to be when he grew up. Mosijah, Roye's son who is now 11 years old, looked up at the pediatrician and replied softly, "You."
For Roye, this moment was a powerful affirmation of his belief that seeing people who look like you do positive things can have a profound impact on how you see yourself. "The visual allows boys to see that it's attainable, that it's not as farfetched as a guidance counselor saying, 'You know, you could be a doctor'" he said.
This sensibility serves as the bedrock of Black Male Re-Imagined, a narrative photo project backed by the Campaign for Black Male Achievement and shot by Ruddy Roye. The organization, which was launched in 2008 and has helped invest tens of millions of dollars into initiatives for black men and boys, tasked Roye with traveling to cities like Baltimore, Ferguson, and Chicago to photograph and share the perspectives of everyday people who are uplifting the lives of black men. Along the way, he took portraits of leaders like Tracy Martin, father of Trayvon Martin, Reverend Osagyefo Uhuru Sekou, high school principal Yetunde Reeves, and contemporary artist Knowledge Bennett.
"When I first came to this country, I met all of these stereotypes: That black men were never fathers, we were never teachers or educators," Roye said. "By showing these images, I inspire other other black men to say, 'I can be that person' or 'I can be in those positions.'"
The Campaign for Black Male Achievement helped lay the groundwork for President Barack Obama's popular My Brother's Keeper initiative and is involved in organizing the annual MLK Now event, which is taking place Monday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Like those well-known efforts, Black Male Re-Imagined furthers the group's mission of "narrative change," which Rashid Shabazz, the Vice President of Communications of the Campaign for Black Male Achievement, defined to me as creating "more accurate, elevated depictions of black men and boys."
Although the project's idea of the "Re-Imagined" is flexible, Shabazz made it clear to me that the goal was not to push tired respectability politics. In addition to showing black boys the men that they could be, this project also seeks to show America who black men really are.
"The idea really was to be provocative. A lot of times we don't have to reimagine black males—we just need to put a light on the diversity, that black males are not a monolith," he said.
This mission seems especially important today. Although it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a holiday dedicated to an activist who epitomized the strength and grace of black men—and we've just seen a black man serve for eight years in the highest office in the land—the triumphs of these leaders and others like them have not been sufficient to negate the pernicious negative perceptions many Americans hold about men of color.
At a time when black college enrollment surges and the absent black father myth has been debunked, it's disheartening to see that old stereotypes and one-dimensional portrayal of blacks males still color the way many individuals see the world. Even our next president, Donald Trump, perpetuates mangled concepts about black people—that we all "live in hell," violent communities filled with "gangs roaming the streets."
Ruddy's work depicts a more nuanced black America, one with beauty and hope and power in spite of the pain of enduring in a country plagued with institutional racism. As Shabazz noted to me, regardless of their surroundings, Ruddy manages to capture his black subjects with "a sense of dignity" that they are usually denied. "He's telling these amazing stories through images. That's why we chose him. That's why we want to engage with him. He captures us in a way that shows not our brokenness, but our wholeness."
"If we come together, we can strengthen the platform that we stand on. I think these images do that." —Ruddy Roye
Of course, this is nothing new for Roye, who's used the same approach since his first major photo project in 2000. In that early work, he documented the squatters along an abandoned train line in Jamaica. And to get the story and really engage with the people, he walked 121 miles from Montego Bay to Kingston.
After moving to the US in 2001, Roye found himself a bit disillusioned with photojournalism because of the stories he was asked to cover by white editors—and his dwindling professional prospects.
"I began to feel as disenfranchised as the people I saw in my Brooklyn neighborhood," he said. "In the past, it was so hard for me to walk up to them and say, 'I'd like to photograph you.' But I found it easier if we talked about the fact that we weren't working together. 'I'm not working. You're not working. I'm a father. You're a father...'"
And so he began photographing people in and around his community in ways that expressed compassion and understanding for their mutual struggle as blacks in America. Instead of going to traditional media companies with this work, Roye published these powerful photos on social media. "Instagram gave me the vehicle to do it," he said. "There were no editors at the gate telling me that this story was not important."
Today, Roye's vision has earned him more than 250,000 instagram followers and he was just named Time's "Instagram Photographer of 2016." Although his work has appeared practically everywhere, from the New York Times to Vogue, he told me that this Black Male Re-Imagined project with the Campaign for Black Male Achievement is what really satisfies his soul.
One of the most impactful experiences he had shooting this project was in Milwaukee, where he photographed Mike McGee, an older gentleman who had been a member of the Black Panther Party.
"As we sat down, he was very belligerent about talking about where we were going to be in the future as a race," Roye recalled. "He believed that without a physical revolution, we would never achieve anything. It was important for me to understand that during his time, that was his belief. And where we are now, I have my own beliefs. And as I look to my sons, they approach race in a different way than even I do. We're three generations of black men, coming from three different spaces. My goal is to photograph in a way that will link us together."
Capturing that sense of unity is crucial to Roye's mission in these photographs, because it is something he hopes will have a tangible impact on those fighting institutional racism across the nation.
"One of my responsibilities was to go out and photograph what we are all doing because we really don't know," he told me. "Remember, the fist is not just a symbol of power and strength, it has a story of connectivity. What's going on in Oakland, Atlanta, Birmingham, Baltimore, in Ferguson—if we come together, we can strengthen the platform that we stand on. I think these images do that."
Below is an exclusive selection of photos from the Campaign for Black Male Achievement's Black Male Re-Imagined project by Ruddy Roye. Each photo features a caption by Roye about the subject's point of view on the representation of black men today and the legacy of Barack Obama. You can learn more about the Campaign for Black Male Achievement on their website and you can see Ruddy Roye latest photos on his Instagram.
I photographed Tracey Martin, father of Trayvon Martin, after his "Father to Son" talk at the Kennedy Center. His social justice organization, the Trayvon Martin Foundation, supports families who have lost their loved ones to gun violence. His response to what "Black Male Re-Imagined" means to him was, "I envision the black male being in a position of power, being entrepreneurial, being more than just iconic sports figures, being innovators. There's a perception that we're in a dark place as African-American men. It's not that we need to change the things that we are doing, America needs to change the things that they're doing to us. We have to shift that paradigm, and it's important to show young black men love and respect."
I've never met a person who carried so much of the struggle of African-American people. Mike McGee, Sr. was quiet for most of the time we met. He sat at an event in Milwaukee celebrating the lives of former basketball stars from his neighborhood basketball club, of which he was a coach and community leader. When I asked him about how the narrative around black men in America has evolved since Obama's presidency, he said, "Nothing has changed. I feel completely disenfranchised since his eight years. I would have at least apologized for slavery. It would have been a token gesture and he didn't even do that. I'm disappointed in our black elected officials in general. They have let the black people down. I was ahead of my time. Until the black men are ready to fight, not protest, actually fight, nothing will change for us. Begging will not get you anything. I don't think anything has changed. It's a flash in the pan."
Gaulien "Gee" Smith has owned Gee's Clippers for 21 years. It is the first African-American barber shop in the country to charter a Boy Scouts troop and is a staple in the Milwaukee community. He told me, "In 20 more years, I hope that people remember me as a brother who truly cared about his community. A brother who showed selflessness and went beyond the call of duty to bring change to his community. That I brought awareness to the incarceration rate, filled the void of missing fathers, and encouraged inner city kids to vote." Smith does believe that Obama's presidency changed the black male experience. He said, "It gave our kids hope and allowed them to see that the sky is the limit."
I saw Reverend Sikou walk off the stage to the chants of "more" at a festival of music, art and social justice, dubbed "Many Rivers to Cross." The two-day music festival was held at the 8,000-acre Bouckaert Horse Farm in Fairburn, Georgia. His set was spellbinding and seemed to hold his audience in a trance. "Part of the way black music in general is a savior to the wounds of racism, is that it creates a space whereby we can be free but for a few minutes. Blues music in particular does it with a bit of style and style is a form of resistance."
Knowledge Bennett is a contemporary artist who believes that being a black artist with a pop art viewpoint gives him a unique perspective. "Often times, 'black art' from a traditional sense appears to miss the mark when attracting the attention of black men and boys who haven't necessarily been introduced to the world of fine art," he said. "My work serves as a perfect introduction because I'm presenting elements of pop culture, things that these individuals have an immediate connection with."
I could not take my eyes off of Storyboard P. as the Brooklyn dancer practiced his moves before going on stage. His tight, intricate, syncopated movements seemed to connect his eyelashes to his toe nail and his body rippled like the Caribbean Sea. "I move because the whole world is movement. There is no such thing called stop. The way I feel is movement. It allows males to navigate their male qualities and connect with their female qualities. It allows black boys to express themselves and it gives them balance. I believe my art allows aggression to have more articulation. It shows confidence—your posture alone tells you about yourself."
Yetunde Reeves is the principal at Ballou, a predominantly African American high school in Washington, DC, where she's working to change the narrative about black youth. The area is known for its high crime rate, homelessness, and issues with addiction. "I think the narrative around some black men has evolved since the election of Obama, but I'm not sure how many students relate to his story. Seeing a black man achieve an accomplishment is certainly important. I just don't know if my students have felt personally impacted by his administration. The narrative for me is about the possibility and the resiliency I see in my students."
Ray Nitti spends a lot of time composing art that will reach his audience of black men and boys in Milwaukee. "We are using the music to give black boys an alternative form of expressing their emotions instead of lashing out in anger. It is their therapy. We connect them with opportunities and various platforms that will allow them to strengthen their talents and hopefully find some form of value that might transform into some form of employment or payment. I think the narrative is being deliberately perpetuated. Yes, it has evolved. There was always a focus but now I think there has been a concerted effort to attack not just the black man, but also his community. In the next 20 years, I envision that we will be organized. Since slavery, we have never truly been organized or had control of our culture. We need to be a people who see about our business and culture."
Bradley Thurman is 67 and the proprietor of Milwaukee's Coffee Makes You Black, which provides a spot in the community where people feel comfortable to network and communicate. "I think society has regressed to Jim Crow. [Obama came in eight years ago, but we still] haven't gained any ground. In a way, we have lost ground. When I graduated from high school, there was riots in the streets. I'm 67 years old, and there are still riots in the streets. The institutions are still preventing us from [owning the system]. So I am not surprised to see the young people rebel.
Andrew Joseph Jr. lost his son Andrew Joseph lll on February 7, 2014. The 14-year-old was killed crossing Interstate 4 after the Sheriff Department ejected him from the Florida State fair. "In Tampa, I think when Obama was elected, we had certain expectations. We were proud. We celebrated. But he told us in the beginning that he didn't want to be a black president, he wanted to be a president. We have been waiting through both terms. We have not seen that change we thought we were getting—a president who would stand up for us. We got fringe benefits, museums, and street names. We have not gotten that real change. We are demanding change now. The black men are being executed in our homes."
I met up with Rashid Shabazz on Bedford Street to photograph him for this project. He was with his five-year-old daughter Zahara. Rashid has dedicated his life to fighting injustice, a struggle he hopes is not lost on his daughter when she comes of age. Activism is in his blood: Shabazz's father was a captain in the Nation of Islam, an organization that transformed the lives of many black men to be more self-determining and to stand up for the rights of their people. "I grew up in a home unapologetic about black excellence, black achievement and the black contributions to the world. I saw my father use his weekends going to minister to brothers who were locked up and knowing that he was doing that to help them. But I am sure in my subconscious there was a sense that I knew there was some injustice in that, given my lessons in the Nation. I made early connections that black women and men faced injustices that needed to end and still do need to end."
Let's say someone is following you on social media, sending you death threats, then rape threats—and seems capable of seeing them through. You turn to the police for help, but you're told that maybe you should delete your Twitter account or change your hair color.
That's how the past five years have gone for Lenora Claire, a former art-curator and current casting agent in Los Angeles, who has been stalked since 2011 by the same man who has made headlines in the past for stalking Ivanka Trump. Unlike Ivanka Trump, Claire doesn't have the luxury of bodyguards and private security, and when she turned to law enforcement for help, it became clear she would need to take matters into her own hands. The ongoing saga, which resulted in her stalker being captured by the Secret Service this year, has sparked a discourse on stalking laws, including proposing new stalking legislation that would emphasize the greater threat of cyber stalking and internet threats.
Claire and I have been online acquaintances for years, and during our interview, it surprised me how much we knew about each other despite having never met in real life. I saw that you were at this show last week, how was it? Are you still getting rid of your old clothing? Is that guy still ghosting you? That's the power of social media: We can know people without knowing them. And for all the fame, recognition, and attention that comes with having an internet presence, women like Claire and I rarely consider the potential danger it can bring.
Back in 2011, Claire was profiled as one of LA Weekly's "Best of LA" for the formation of her now-defunct art gallery, pop tART. Shortly after the article came out, a man wearing a spacesuit showed up to the gallery, which Claire brushed off. "When you're a curator, you have a high tolerance for artistic shenanigans so I was just like, Whatever. He seemed off, but harmless," she told me.
But as they continued talking inside the gallery, Claire realized she had misjudged him. "He tells me that I remind him of Jessica Rabbit and that he thinks I'm a supreme being," she remembers. "Then he tells me that he intends to stalk me. He tells me that right to my face."
The man, born Justin Massler, had legally changed his name to Cloud Starchaser several years prior. He was a Harvard-bound star athlete until he was diagnosed with schizophrenia, the manifestation of which changed the course of his life. He convinced himself that he was Superman, and expressed beliefs that women like Ivanka Trump and Lenora Claire needed to be kidnapped and raped in order to harness their powers.
His fascination with Ivanka had been ongoing since at least 2010. He had threatened to commit suicide if she and her husband would not speak to him, and harassed the employees of her jewelry store for not delivering earrings that he bought for her. Following this last incident, he was eventually caught by Secret Service agents only a few blocks away from Trump Tower. According to Claire, he is currently being held at the Bellevue Psychiatric Center in New York, with no current set plan on what his future will be.
Over 7.5 million Americans are victims of stalking, according to the Stalking Resource Center, but most of them don't have the resources of a woman like Ivanka Trump. Claire was lucky, in a sense, that she shared the same stalker as Ivanka, and that Cloud Starchaser frequently posted his intentions to stalk and his whereabouts on his website. But when Claire tried to bring this evidence to the Los Angeles Police Department, she says she wasn't taken seriously. The first time she turned to the police—after receiving several handwritten letters and emails from Starchaser, telling her they were in love and meant to be together—she says the LAPD's reaction was to blame her. "They told me that I should change my hair so I'll be less of a target," she remembers. "They also told me to remove myself from social media. They mocked me and shamed me. I walked out of there so angry." (The LAPD declined to comment for this story.)
To tell someone to remove themselves from social media in this day and age is akin to telling someone to stop existing. "We have a climate now where people are getting more attention through self-promotion on social media, but are completely unprepared for the fact that it does bring to them false attachments," Claire told me. "You post about what you're doing and who you're with, and it does get easy to stalk you."
Even if the LAPD had been more sympathetic to Claire's case, there's only so much they could've done. Stalking laws are slowly adapting to modern times—harassment through email or social media is, for example, now a crime in states like California—but the act of stalking itself is still a low-level crime, and one that's hard to punish. Stalking crimes are generally labeled as misdemeanors that occur in conjunction with the act of stalking, such as vandalism or in-person verbal threats. The most a victim of stalking can currently do, legally, is serve a restraining order against their stalker. But even that can be difficult to accomplish. When attempting to file a restraining order against her stalker, Claire says she was told that because he had no physical address he could not officially be "served" the paperwork, making the restraining order only pending as opposed to permanent. It wasn't, she says, until he was caught in San Francisco, after showing up to the workplace of a woman he went to high school with, that authorities could officially serve him. "Even after all this, they still let him go," Claire told me. "Immediately [after] getting my restraining order, he contacted me."
So Claire took her protection into her own hands. She taught herself to check IP addresses every time he sent an email, to find out whether or not he was contacting her in California or another state. "If he was in California, I was in high alert because I felt like he could find me. If he was in a different state, I could breathe a little easier that day," she told me. "This became my normalized routine."
Now, after five years of constant anxiety, Claire says it's time we reexamined the way we deal with stalking in the United States. She's made appearances on Crime Watch Daily to talk about her experience and is being featured in an upcoming episode of 48 Hours. And then there's her work with California Congressman Adam Schiff, who collaborated on legislation that would emphasize the greater threat of cyber stalking and internet threats. Part of this new proposed legislation, which has been presented to the Department of Justice, includes creating a national stalker registry that would list the name of a convicted stalker regardless of what state they were convicted in.
On top of that, Claire and Schiff want to change the law so that it's possible for restraining orders to be served via email, as well as ankle monitors to be worn by convicted stalkers once they're set free. Outside of taking government action, she is also forming a non-profit organization along with California-based lawyer Peggy Farrell that will help protect stalking victims and provide them with proper legal help.
Claire is the first to point out that it's not glamorous work, but if it saves someone else five years of constant anxiety, it's worth it.
"No one wants to be the face of stalking," Claire said. "[but] we have seven million Americans being stalked and we haven't done shit for them. I want to change that."
In his central Beijing office, Zhu Qiming flicked at his smartphone screen. A small pair of yellow boxer shorts suddenly appeared on the digital hunk staring back at him from his device.
The briefs were designed to resemble Spongebob Squarepants' head, complete with a scowling face over the bulge they were concealing. A few more finger flicks from Zhu caused the guy in the Spongebob boxers to be joined by a friend who was equally as buff, but sported an even skimpier pair of briefs over his considerable virtual package.
Zhu was giving me a demo of a forthcoming smartphone game with the working title Rainbow Town. As both its title and heavy use of near-naked men suggested, it looks set to be the gayest game ever released in China.
This is wholly intentional: Rainbow Town is the result of Zhu's gaming company Star-G Technologies spotting a gap in the enormous Chinese mobile gaming market. Right now China is having its own 'pink dollar' moment, with an increasing amount of companies realising there's money to be made marketing to LGBT customers. Small tech firms such as Star-G are leading the way.
Tinerii din ziua de azi și-au creat o reputație proastă, cum că dau țepe – și, cu toate astea, cei mai tineri profesioniști de pe piața muncii din America se deconectează rar de la muncă. Un sondaj recent a arătat că un sfert dintre bărbații și femeile cu vârste cuprinse între 18 și 25 de ani nu-și iau nicio zi de concediu. Un altul a dezvăluit că aproape jumătate dintre tinerii din ziua de azi spun că vor să fie văzuți drept „martiri" la muncă – doritori și disponibili să renunțe la timpul liber, ca să-și impresioneze superiorii. Evident, genul ăsta de mentalitate te epuizează fizic și psihic. Asociația Psihiatrilor Americani, de exemplu, a constatat că „workaholicii" suferă adeseori de probleme conexe care țin de depresie sau de tulburări obsesiv-compulsive. Un studiu din Norvegia, întreprins pe mai mult de 16 mii de adulți, a dezvăluit că proporția de anxioși printre workaholici e aproape de trei ori mai mare decât printre persoanele care au un program mai normal de lucru. Nu-i ușor să găsești un echilibru când te spetești până la epuizare – dar e fezabil, dacă ești dispus să depui efort. Am vorbit cu șapte persoane care-au reușit.
Ximena, 29, publicist, Chicago, Illinois
Fotografii: Roger Morales
Cât de mult te consuma munca, în perioada cea mai grea? Lucram în medie 11-12 ore pe zi, de luni până duminică.
Când ai avut un declic? Am fost dată afară – și m-a distrus. Munca e importantă și poate să-ți aducă satisfacții, dar viața înseamnă mai mult decât să muncești și să te-ncrezi atât de mult în angajator. La urma urmei, te setezi pentru eșec. Îmi aduc aminte că mă gândeam, în timp ce-mi strângeam lucrurile de pe birou, cât de stupid a fost că-mi făcusem griji că șeful o să se supere pe mine că-mi trăiesc viața, când ei voiau să mă dea afară.
Azi ai o viață mai bună? O consecință directă a experienței ăsteia a fost că mi-am creat propria companie. Azi conduc o mică echipă de PR concentrată pe construirea de branduri și management al reputației. Îmi pun în practică mai multe idei. Înainte, toate ideile mele trebuia să fie aprobate de-un angajator. Cele care nu erau aprobate erau pur și simplu băgate-ntr-un colț și praful se-alegea de ele. Azi, totul curge și munca pare o prelungire naturală a personalității mele. Dacă ești workaholic, nu cred că poți să te deconectezi complet – dar poți întotdeauna să găsești metode de a-ți canaliza energia într-o relație mai productivă, mai sănătoasă.
Jeremy, 28, antreprenor, Walnut Creek, California
Zi-mi cum arăta o zi obișnuită pentru tine. Din 2013 până-n 2015, am condus o rețea de programe pentru copii și am lucrat, în același timp, pe post de consultant. În toiul verii, programul meu obișnuit de muncă era de la 6:30 dimineața până la miezul nopții. În perioadele mai libere, tot munceam poate 70 de ore pe săptămână, puse cap la cap.
Când ți-ai dat seama că trebuie să-ți schimbi viața? Am ajuns la epuizare completă. A fost a doua oară, dar de data asta a fost altfel. N-a fost un limitator de viteză în drum – a fost o oprire completă. Nu mai aveam voința să mut munții din loc; de-abia mai reușeam să mă dau jos din pat. Mă simțeam lipsit de putere, epuizat și distrus. Am ajuns să scriu o scrisoare de sinucigaș, ca să pot să procesez ce simțeam.
Azi ai zice că situația stă mai bine? Mi-ar plăcea să zic că s-au schimbat lucrurile peste noapte. Niciodată nu-i așa. Nu poți să grăbești recuperarea. Merg pe calea mea cu o energie nouă, cu sinceritate și umilință. Sunt la fel de ambițios ca-ntotdeauna – am un nou start-up, care încearcă să revoluționeze lumea întâlnirilor. Dar de data asta mi-am dat voie să mă detașez când e cazul.
Beth, 32, consilier personal, McKinney, Texas
Cât de intensă era viața ta profesională înainte? Lucram ca analist la un start-up pe tehnologie și se-ntâmpla des să muncesc 90 de ore pe săptămână. Mereu eram prima care venea la birou și ultima care pleca.
Cum ai ajuns să te saturi? A venit momentul când al patrulea manager mi-a promis pentru a patra oară că mă promovează – ceea ce nu s-a întâmplat. Băteam pasul pe loc într-o cursă de șoareci și n-aveam nicio șansă să ajung la finish.
Ce-ai făcut ca să lași viața aia în urmă? Am început să construiesc o afacere de consiliere personală, am investiții în mobiliare, iar în timpul liber am început să lucrez pielărie și mobilier. Azi am mai multe surse de venit – iar până la finalul anului îmi propun să-mi înlocuiesc complet salariul. Activitățile astea mi-au permis, în cele din urmă, să-mi direcționez creativitatea și adevăratele pasiuni, care stagnau la corporație.
Cât de obositoare era viața ta înainte? Nu supraviețuiești la medicină și-n rezidențiat dacă nu ții la lipsa de somn și n-ai o etică profesională de excepție. Așa că după ce mi-am terminat rezidențiatul, nu mi s-a părut dubios să continui să lucrez după un program a câte 80 de ore de muncă. Norma mea, timp de trei ani, a constat din zile lungi ca psihiatru de serviciu la un centru de detenție juvenilă, pe lângă gărzile de noapte și turele de weekend la două centre medicale cu internare.
Ce te-a ajutat să te trezești? Era ziua de Crăciun în 2013 și împărțeam cadouri tinerilor de la centrul de detenție. Unul dintre deținuți m-a întrebat: „Dr. A, tu de ce nu ești acasă să sărbătorești cu soțul și cu familia? Mereu muncești. Eu dac-aș putea să fiu cu cei dragi, acolo-aș fi." În momentul ăla, am jurat să-mi schimb stilul de viață.
Cum ți s-a îmbunătățit viața de-atunci? Mi-am găsit un job nou, cu un program mai rezonabil, care-mi permite să-i ajut pe cei la nevoie la o scară mai largă. La șase luni după aceea, mi-am cunoscut viitorul soț, cu care m-am și logodit după încă cinci luni.
Shane, 36, Chief Digital Officer, Santa Monica, California
Cum arăta o zi obișnuită pentru tine? Ani de zile m-am mândrit nevoie mare că eram primul la birou și ultimul care pleca. Asta însemna nici mai mult, nici mai puțin de 14 ore de muncă pe zi, plus naveta de o oră și dus, o oră și întors, din New York în Long Island. Apoi am început să lucrez pentru un grup de ONG-uri pe consultanță, ceea ce-nsemna că eram tot timpul pe drum, munceam tot timpul și-abia îmi mai vedeam soția și copiii. Pe lângă asta, nu dormeam mai mult de câteva ore odată și mâncam ce apucam. Mi-a afectat mult bunăstarea.
Cum ai reușit să-ți dai, în sfârșit, seama că ai o problemă? Mi-a făcut soția o poză în care îmi țin fiul în brațe pentru prima dată. Pe el îl țin cu stânga și cu dreapta lucrez la calculator. Poza aia o să-mi aducă mereu aminte să mențin un echilibru și-o perspectivă. Cum am zis și atunci: niciodată n-o să mai fac greșeala asta. De-atunci, militez clar pentru o delimitare între muncă și viața de familie – și deși muncesc din greu, mă asigur că iubesc și mai și.
Cum ți-ai schimbat viața ca să rezolvi direct problemele astea? Am renunțat la viața de călătorit non-stop și mi-am găsit un job nou, la altă firmă. M-am mutat la Santa Monica, la câteva străzi de plajă și cam un kilometru de birou. Soția și copiii sunt și ei mereu la câțiva kilometri distanță. În fiecare dimineață îmi încep ziua la Gold's Gym și sunt la fel de disciplinat în avea grijă de familie ca și de sănătate.
Borbay, 36, artist, Victor, Idaho
Cu ce munci îți pierdeai nopțile? Le-am făcut pe toate: am sărit de la reality show-uri de căcat la stand-up comedy la Organizația Trump la recrutarea de creativi la advertising digital, la artist cu normă-ntreagă. În tot acest timp, munceam câte 50-80 de ore pe săptămână în medie. Eram praf.
Păi și ce s-a schimbat? În mai anul trecut am prins un loc la o rezidență pentru artiști de două luni în Exuma. Soarele din Bahamas, romul, vegetația și cultura de-acolo mi-au schimbat complet perspectiva. Eram un tată a doi copii de 35 de ani care plătea 3 500 de dolari pe lună pentru un apartament cu două camere pe East 20th în Manhattan, dormeam în sufragerie lângă un bebeluș și-mpărțeam un studio cu un copil de doi ani. Venise vremea să trăiesc nomad, să plec din oraș și să descopăr o viață mai bună.
Și azi? Azi locuim într-o casă uriașă cu cinci dormitoare în Teton Springs, Idaho. Muncesc mai puțin, joc mai mult hockey, fac ski-fond, mă bucur de familia mea pe bune și am reușit chiar s-o mai las o dată gravidă pe nevastă-mea. De când ne-am mutat, în martie, mi se vând picturile într-o veselie. În 2017 o să depășească sumele pe care le câștigam pe vremuri, când mi-o ardeam Don Draper.
CJ, 33, CEO, Los Angeles, California
Cât de dementă era viața ta? Timp de câțiva ani, am fost manager de proiect la o agenție de digital și munceam non-stop – șapte zile pe săptămână, cu foarte puțin timp liber pentru familie și odihnă. Eram prins într-un cerc vicios. Aveam din ce în ce mai mult succes și câștigam mai bine, dar n-aveam aproape deloc timp pentru mine. Răspundeam imediat la mailuri, la 11 noaptea îmi dădeam SMS-uri cu clienții, iar în serile de weekend stăteam să-mi fac planuri pentru săptămâna următoare.
Ce te-a scos din rutina asta? Într-o dimineață, mi-am pregătit fetița, care avea doi ani la vremea respectivă, să ieșim să luăm micul dejun. În câteva minute eram înapoi la calculator, îmi verificam mailul și valsam printre documente. Am auzit-o că oftează și zice: „Tati s-a întors la muncă." Cuvintele ei m-au lovit fix în plex. Gata.
Cum ai reușit să scapi? M-am asociat cu un prieten și, în cele din urmă, ne-am făcut propria echipă. Cu fiecare angajat nou, eu am renunțat să mă mai implic la fel de activ. Am constatat că eram cam obsedat de control. Mi-am schimbat programul de muncă și le-am cerut mult mai strict clienților să nu mă mai contacteze în afara orelor de lucru. Mi-am schimbat și prioritățile. Azi fericirea și sănătatea mea sunt pe primul loc, apoi familia și prietenii și-apoi munca.
De ce te pui pe tine pe primul loc? E simplu. Când descoperi fericirea adevărată, atitudinea ta devine contagioasă.
Dans un billet Facebook publié le 14 janvier, le controversé chef de La Meute a annoncé qu'il quittait la direction du groupe d'extrême droite.
« Il est temps pour moi de donner le flambeau à un autre leader qui saura donner un nouveau souffle à la cause », d'écrire Eric Venne, alias Eric Corvus.
Dans une longue missive, couronnée d'une image de loup penaud, le fondateur explique qu'il ne se sentait plus en mesure de guider ses membres.
« Aujourd'hui, certains problèmes personnels ne me permettent plus de me donner corps et âme pour La Meute, souligne Corvus. Demeurer à la tête de l'organisation ne servirait pas la cause. On ne souhaite jamais devenir un fardeau. »
Capture d'écran du billet Facebook d'Eric Corvus.
Cette annonce survient après la publication par VICE d'allégations voulant que le groupe et ses finances soient mal gérés, et que son influence ait été exagérée. Des gens près du groupe ont confié à VICE qu'ils croient que Corvus a été tassé par d'autres membres de la direction.
Mais Sylvain Maikan (un nom fictif : il n'a pas voulu révéler son identité), porte-parole de La Meute, réfute ces allégations et maintient qu'Eric Corvus a quitté le groupe de son plein gré pour des raisons de santé. « Il n'était plus en mesure de gérer l'organisation et il ne voulait pas être un fardeau », nous a-t-il confié par message Facebook, recyclant les mots de Corvus.
« Toute l'équipe réagit très mal au départ d'Éric. C'est un homme de conviction qui était très impliqué pour la cause. »
Photo tirée du profil Facebook d'Eric Corvus.
Lors d'une entrevue antérieure, Maikan avait mentionné qu'une partie des milliers de dollars prélevés par La Meute pourrait être utilisée pour rembourser les investissements des fondateurs. Le porte-parole rapporte que Corvus ne quitte pas avec l'argent prélevé. « Le remboursement des sommes investies par les fondateurs n'est pas devenu prioritaire parce que l'un d'eux quitte, dit-il. Eric Corvus demeure un membre de La Meute, il croit toujours en la cause et ses valeurs n'ont pas changé. »
Corvus lègue le pouvoir à Patrick Beaudry, membre de la direction et propriétaire de PTRK Design, la compagnie qui produit les produits dérivés du groupe. « Aujourd'hui, en Patrick Beaudry, vous avez un chef qui a tous [ sic] les qualités requises pour tenir ce rôle et mener à bien nos convictions, écrit Corvus. Je suis le fondateur de La Meute et comme fondateur je dois m'assurer que l'organisation continue à avancer et grandir. Avec Patrick et Stéphane Roch au conseil (et certes mon remplaçant), Eric Proulx, Sylvain Maikan et Shérif Constantin au commande [ sic] de la garde, ainsi que La garde, La Meute est entre bonne main [ sic]. »
Esta entrevista se publicó originalmente en octubre de 2015.
Para Danni Daniels, ser una de las estrellas del porno trans alternativo más conocidas tienes sus pros y sus contras. "Una vez se me acercó un fan en Disney World, con sus hijos en los brazos, para decirme lo mucho que le gustaba mi trabajo", me explicó. "Pasó un tiempo hasta que empecé a ser borde con algunos de mis seguidores. A veces estaba firmando autógrafos y siendo amable y a lo mejor alguien me preguntaba, "¿Podemos ir al servicio rápidamente y nos la enseñas?". '¡Pues no! Y ustedes, ¿tienen 5,000 dólares en la bolsa? Porque en caso afirmativo, me la saco aquí mismo y me la sacudo', me daban ganas de responder".
Aunque la mayoría de las estrellas del porno trans encajan en una representación de género más heteronormativa, Danni destaca con sus 182cm de altura, su corte de pelo andrógino y sus tatuajes. En 2013, colaboró con Peaches en su producción de opera-rock Peaches Does Herself, en la que Danni interpretaba a la enfermera que llevaba a Peaches en silla de ruedas por el escenario.
En su afán por forjarse una imagen contraria a los paradigmas dominantes del porno, en seis años Danni ha logrado tener control absoluto sobre su trayectoria profesional, algo poco usual en un sector en el que las mujeres trans suelen estar mal pagadas y verse obligadas a realizar escenas de sexo intensas y violentas para mantener a su audiencia. Danni optó por abandonar el porno convencional. Hoy puede presumir de que nunca la han penetrado delante de una cámara y de tener dossitios web exitosos (no aptos para ver en la oficina), en los que crea sus escenas y escoge a las personas o —como ocurre en una escena especialmente memorable, llamada "Pumpkin Fucker"— las calabazas con las que quiere trabajar.
El mes pasado platiqué por teléfono con Danni para que me contara cómo el porno la había ayudado a comprender su sexualidad e identidad de género. Quise hablar con Danni porque, como mujer cisgénero, la visión de una mujer con tetas penetrando a hombres sumisos con un pene de 23cm me parece tremendamente poderosa. En el contexto de una industria en la que puede parecer que todo está inventado, su trabajo resulta perturbador y arriesgado.
VICE: ¿Cómo empezaste en el porno? Danni Daniels: Cuando tenía 16 o 17 años empecé a trabajar de modelo para contenidos editoriales. Aparecí en Vogue y en un montón de revistas de moda importantes, pero luego empecé a tatuarme y a hacer la transición, lo cual supuso un problema para mi agencia de modelos. Gané algo de peso y los de la agencia me dijeron que me estaba volviendo demasiado gorda y alternativa y que no podían seguir trabajando conmigo. Cuando estás en tratamiento de transición, tu cuerpo tiene tantas hormonas como el de una mujer embarazada de gemelos. Por eso siempre tenía hambre y estaba de mal humor. Así que no iba a tolerar que alguien me dijera que dejara de comer tanto y lo dejé.
Empecé a trabajar en el teatro, entre bambalinas. Cuando el espectáculo de Broadway en el que trabajaba estaba a punto de acabar la temporada, empecé a sufrir ataques de pánico. Mi mentora también padecía un trastorno de pánico y me ayudo mucho a lidiar con la ansiedad, pero justo cuando el espectáculo terminó, un día rebuscó en mi bolso sin que yo lo supiera, me robó el bote de Xanax que tenía y se suicidó tomándoselo entero. La persona que me había ayudado a encontrar mi lugar en el mundo se había ido.
Antes de aquello ya me habían hecho varias ofertas para trabajar en el cine para adultos, pero en ese momento quería hacer algo liberador y que me sacara de Nueva York. Además, me daba pánico volar y viajar, en general. Cuando me siento así, acabo queriendo hacer precisamente lo que más temo, y finalmente viví una aventura de seis años como una persona sin hogar.
En tus películas más recientes penetras a hombres cisgénero. ¿Siempre ha sido así? ¿Has practicado sexo con mujeres cisgénero u hombres o mujeres trans frente a la cámara? Para mí el porno es una forma de descubrir mi sexualidad y saber cuál es mi lugar. Siempre he sido muy sexual, pero esta industria me ha ayudado mucho a entender lo que quiero en la vida. Me he expuesto a todo lo que he podido, todo tipo de géneros y sexualidades; cada vez que aparecía algo nuevo, me sentía atraída por ello. Ahora, por fin, sé que soy una mujer trans heterosexual. Necesito un pito en mi vida.
Como mucha gente. Pero cuando vas más allá de tu sexualidad en la industria del porno, tienes que entrenar tu cuerpo para que sea tu herramienta de trabajo. Diría que el porno me ha ayudado a centrarme y a trabajar otros aspectos que ni siquiera están relacionados con él, simplemente por el hecho de tener tal grado de control sobre mi cuerpo y mi mente. Estar en un entorno profesional en el que hay más personas que también consideran esto un trabajo me permite disponer de un espacio sin prejuicios para mi sexualidad.
Pero mi sexualidad es totalmente distinta a la que muestro ante la cámara. Es algo muy íntimo y privado para mí. Siempre le digo a la gente que lo que ven en la pantalla es una actuación. Que lo disfruten, pero sabiendo que no soy yo. Es como si te encontraras con Robert Downey Jr. y le dijeras, "¡Madre mía, si eres Iron Man!" Pues no.
¿Cómo mantienes la erección cuando trabajas con gente que no te atrae? ¿Tomas Viagra? Cuando empecé a hacer escenas con otra mujer, sin que hubiera ningún hombre, no era capaz de mantener la erección sin ayuda. Pese a ello, durante los tres primeros años, me negué a tomar fármacos, porque he visto a tipos pasar de la Viagra al Cialis y luego a una mezcla de ambos, para acabar inyectándose fármacos en el pene porque sus cuerpos se habían inmunizado al efecto de los anteriores.
¿El hecho de tener pene te ha ayudado a encontrar tu identidad sexual o ha sido un impedimento? Entrar en el mundo del porno con un pene de 23cm fue lo mejor que me podía pasar. Me dio confianza y me facilitó mucho las cosas. Simplemente tenía que presentarme donde fuera y desnudarme, y en seguida me halagaban. Tenía tetas, pene, tatuajes y era alternativa. Además, podía correrme varias veces frente a la cámara. Yo estaba en un nicho dentro de un nicho dentro de un nicho, lo que me permitió ser más creativa y selectiva con lo que hacía y con quién lo hacía.
¿Has observado un trato distinto en mujeres cisgénero y trans con vulva? Desde luego. Como seas una mujer genética o trans sumisa, te tratan como a una mierda, como si fueras un objeto. No te imaginas la cantidad de gente que me ha ofrecido mucho dinero por hacer de pasiva. Me han ofrecido hasta 10,000 dólares. Lo habría hecho por 50,000. Y todavía estoy dispuesta. Si alguien me llamara y me dijera "Te doy 50,000 dólares para que te destrocen frente a una cámara", firmaría sin pensarlo.
Entonces, si hicieras de sumisa una sola vez, ¿se depreciaría tu cotización en la industria? Sí, sería el fin de mi carrera profesional porque a partir de ese momento recibiría un trato distinto. Entonces empezarían a llamarme para ofrecerme la mitad de lo que pidiera. Una vez te ganas la fama de sumisa en la pantalla, las productoras también te consideran una sumisa en la vida real. Te ven como un simple agujero y piensan que aceptarás lo que decidan darte.
¿Ocurre lo mismo con los hombres sumisos? Con los hombres sumisos es diferente, porque hay una cola enorme en la puerta de las productoras de hombres dispuestos a hacer de sumisos, cientos al día, así que les pagan una miseria porque hay mucha demanda.
¿Cómo logras mantener separadas tu sexualidad en la pantalla de la privada? Yo me identifico como mujer trans y mi pareja lo acepta y me trata como tal. Pero hay muchos tipos que empiezan una relación con mujeres trans y pretenden tratarlas como a mujeres. Pero al final acaban asumiendo un papel de sumisos. Ha ocurrido infinidad de veces. También es cierto que hay muchas mujeres trans que no saben lo que quieren hasta que lo experimentan. Muy frecuentemente les atormenta el pensamiento de no saber qué son o de no ser capaces de encontrar su sexualidad.
Yo también he vivido eso. Todas las parejas que he tenido acababan por descubrir mis videos y querían que la dominación y la penetración formaran parte de nuestra vida sexual, y no era lo que yo quería. Para mí ha sido duro separar ambas cosas.
Muchos de los hombres que salen con mujeres trans son homosexuales no declarados que ven en estas relaciones una manera más segura de explorar su homosexualidad sin llegar a ser homosexual. Se ha cosificado y perjudicado tanto a las mujeres trans en las relaciones que nos hemos vuelto prejuiciosas y desconfiadas.
Pero yo tenía claro cómo me sentiría emocionalmente cuando encontrara a mi pareja ideal y aquí está él, sonriéndome. He estudiado muchas relaciones heteros y he tomado nota, y también conozco a muchas trans más mayores que están felices con sus relaciones. No podía predecir cuándo ocurriría, pero al final ha pasado y es increíble. Ahora sé que todos esos tópicos sobre el amor de los que se habla en las canciones son ciertos. Adoro mi vida y no la cambiaría por nada.
¿Qué cambios ha experimentado este sector desde que empezaste a trabajar en él? Se ha vuelto muy retorcido y han desaparecido muchas de las libertades con las que una se sentía cómoda. Ahora hay mil formularios que rellenar y todo son impuestos. Ya nadie te paga en efectivo y tienes que declararlo todo.
Antes, en las escenas de porno solo había Viagra que traían de México, pero ahora que es un fármaco con receta no es fácil conseguirlo. Como estrella porno, si te pasara algo por tomarla podrías arruinarlos con una demanda, por lo que las farmacéuticas se asustaron y dejaron de suministrarla sin receta.
Para mí, tener Viagra es como llevar Xanax, un inhalador o EpiPen en el bolso. Sé que está ahí. Es como una red de seguridad, por si las cosas se tuercen.
En la última escena que hice, no tenía ningún fármaco para la disfunción eréctil y tenía que trabajar con una mujer por la que no sentía ninguna atracción. Era una sustitución de última hora y fue terrible. Se tiró un pedo en mi boca y cuando acabamos la escena tenía ganas de dejarlo todo por un tiempo.
¿Qué proyectos tienes entre manos ahora? Sigo haciendo cosas con mi empresa y mi sitio web, y me encanta. Casi todo en solitario.
Supongo que el hecho de tener el control sobre todo ello te hace sentir bien. Sí, hace que estés muy relajada. Piensas, Es mía, es mi criatura y hay gente que sigue pagando por verla. También me ayuda a ser más exclusiva. Atrae mucho tráfico hacia mí y yo soy la que se lleva todos los beneficios. Además, solo hago escenas en solitario cuando me apetece. Nadie me obliga a hacerlas. Así puedo producir el material que me apetece y firmar orgullosa todo lo que hago.
The first time Allison went out in public as a woman, she agreed to go a restaurant with a friend under one condition: "only if they would do all the speaking," she recalled, "because I was so concerned about my voice."
She's not alone in her self-censorship. While not all transgender people transition, and many of those who do are unconcerned with "passing" as the gender with which they identify, some others wish to retrain the sound of their voice to better match the gender they present as. Those who do hope to boost their self-confidence; for many others, a disconnect between one's voice and appearance can lead to interpersonal conflict and gender dysphoria.
"When you first start coming out, passing is really important," explained Allison, who, like many others in this story, preferred to be identified by her first name to preserve her anonymity. She explained that she, like many other trans people, wanted to blend in and didn't want others to make disparaging comments about her transition. "Voice is a huge gender cue," she noted.
"Every time I get misgendered over the phone, it hurts," said Alex Zandra, a game designer in Montreal. "It's always a dig, like you're not doing a good enough job. Like I'm not good enough at showing my gender."
Laura Kate Dale, a journalist, recalled using the game World of Warcraft to experiment with gender years ago, presenting as a female player to others in her online guild. But when they repeatedly asked her to join them via voice chat, she refused, out of fear of their judgment.
"I would always make excuses," she said, "and the more I refused to do that, the more that people started to suspect maybe there's something you don't want us to know."
Finally, one of the other players asked about her gender point-blank; when Laura revealed that she hadn't always presented as female, other guild members accused her of betraying their trust and cut off contact.
"When people only feel that they can communicate with a percentage of themselves, they're stuck in a different kind of dysphoria," said Seattle-based Speech Pathologist and Voice Clinician Sandy Hirsch. "They're stuck in a place where they can only parcel out pieces of themselves instead of everything."
For a long time after her mute restaurant experience, Allison was simply resigned to the idea that the voice she heard when she spoke might never feel natural to her. "I reached a point where I didn't care," she said. "I am who I am, I'm transgender. If I sound male, that's just how it is."
But her frustrations still grew. "One day I was in a transgender support group, and a representative from an NYU speech group came and said they were focusing on the transgender voice," she said. NYU Steinhardt's Speech-Language-Hearing Clinic was offering individual therapy for new clients; Allison jumped at the opportunity.
At first, she said, "you walk out of the sessions like, 'why am I doing that?'"
"For example," she added, "you work on blowing into a straw, making a sound or working on your pitch, like, 'EEE! OOO!' And you work on lip trills or tongue trills, pitch slides. Those things are like, 'what does this have to do with me sounding more feminine?' Well, we're working on retraining our voice to create words and sound in a different way."
"It was surprisingly simple," said April, a trans woman who worked with a vocal therapist in San Francisco to retrain her voice. "The first thing we did was use a computer to figure out where the resonant frequency of my voice was." Then she obtained a tone-generating app on her phone, and would hold it up to her ear and hum a particular note that helped her find her natural, female voice. She says that, at first, she was doing this three or four times a day, but was able to refer to it gradually less, until she no longer needed it. By humming along to the higher-pitched tone, she was able to find that tonal space with her vocal cords, a process that eventually becomes muscle memory.
Pitch training, like April practiced, is just one component of what makes up a complete vocal training program. Others include finding one's vocal resonance, or changing the way one's voice vibrates throughout the body and assigning it timbre; changing the way one enunciates and adds inflection to words; and training one's vocal range to hit higher or lower notes in everyday speech.
When Alex first pursued vocal therapy, the changes were so subtle that at first they went unnoticed. Every day, she'd take a long walk on a deserted bike path to work, quietly practicing and listening to herself far from anyone who could hear. "After a couple of months, I called my dad and left a message, and when he called back he said he was surprised by my voice," she said, a defining moment in her transition.
"Our voice partly defines who we are," said Kathe Perez, a Denver-based speech pathologist, who co-developed what she believes to be the world's first transgender voice training app. Called EVA (or Exceptional Voice App), it provides vocal coaching lessons to help trans women feminize their voices (and trans men masculinize theirs) via pitch retraining and recorded voice exercises. "Our vocal tone expresses who we are," she said. "It really is our heart and soul."
Most trans-specific vocal modification is targeted to women, since men's voices tend to dip naturally when they take testosterone. But Brice, a trans man in California, still sought some coaching from friends. As he's learned to push his voice deeper into his chest, "I feel like I've been invited into the Bro Club," he said. "Guys assume that I'm a dude. If you're a guy, and you're interacting with guys, there's a lot of 'man' or 'dude' or 'boss,' and as a woman you don't get any of that at all. It's like, 'have a good day boss,' and as a woman it's just 'take care.'"
After receiving treatment at NYU, Allison says, "I feel like I can just flow in general society, without wondering, 'am I safe? Are people going to notice? Are mothers going to move their kids away from me?' I can go anywhere I want, I have confidence. I can take the subway or catch a cab. There's never any concern." Now, when friends visit her in New York, she's the one taking them out to restaurants.
"When people are afraid to communicate, they only give so much of themselves out," said Hirsch. "We all hide parts of ourselves if we're in a situation where we feel it's not safe. When we feel confident in our ability to communicate—this applies to everybody, not just trans people—we feel we bring all of ourselves to the table. Life is therefore richer, and maybe more interesting. And certainly safer."
To be clear: No, we don't need another docuseries that takes apart the minutia of the Nicole Brown/Ron Goldman murders. But that won't stop anyone from making one, because true crime will always be relevant—doubly so when it's about a case that infiltrated our culture and our daily lives.
The latest, Is O.J. Innocent? The Missing Evidence, comes from Investigation Discovery, the best true crime network that you haven't been watching. It isn't exactly great, but it's compulsively watchable. The six-part series (four episodes have aired since Sunday; the final two will premiere tonight) is narrated by Martin Sheen, just one of a long list of things about the series that doesn't quite make sense. But what doesn't make sense also doesn't really matter: The Missing Evidence knows that we're here for nonsensical theories to obsess over and pick apart. We're here for television to tell us why we were wrong.
The center of the docuseries is private investigator William C. Dear, author of a book aptly titled O.J. is Innocent and I Can Prove It; he's determined to prove his theory by enlisting the help of Rhode Island police sergeant Derrick Levasseur (previously seen on the reality TV show Big Brother—again, nothing makes sense) and forensic psychologist Kris Mohandie. Dear believes that it was O.J. Simpson's son Jason who actually committed the murders—possibly because he was upset that Nicole did not come to his restaurant for dinner.
There's "evidence" found in journals where Jason mentions a knife and references Jekyll and Hyde, as well as a photo of Jason wearing a black knit hat similar to the one left at the crime scene. Further proving his theory? Afterward, Jason was only photographed in gray hats. There's confusion about the established timeline (Nicole's watch stopped before the prosecutors said the murders occurred, possibly broken in the scuffle) and a wonky alibi (Jason's time card for that night is handwritten, but the other dates are typed); there's also a knife that Dear retrieved from Jason's old public storage facility, which may (or may not) have blood in the sheath.
Levasseur and Mohandie begin to work the case, often skeptical, but keeping their minds open. They investigate the watch, the two-footprints theory, some blood on a sock, and bring their concerns to Tom Lange, retired LAPD detective and lead investigator on the case. Lange promptly refutes them—almost comically so—speaking sternly but with the wariness of someone who has spent more than two decades facing the same questions, and who no longer gives a shit about alternate theories. If you found yourself slowly coming around to Dear's theory, Lange shuts you down, too—until we switch back to Dear's adamance that it was Jason.
That's the key to The Missing Evidence (and similar true crime docuseries): It questions your knowledge and flips contrary evidence in a way that maybe, possibly, could prove the opposite of what's established. There is nothing particularly damning in The Missing Evidence—just a lot of little stories that you can shove together like slightly off puzzle pieces. They don't quite fit, but you can at least see the finished picture. There's an anonymous interview in a shadowy staircase with a person who recalls that Jason once slammed down a payphone; a handwriting expert who provides insight to Jason's brain; and, in one of tonight's episodes, a focus on Simpson's infamous If I Did It maybe-confession book, in which Simpson imagines that he would've had an accomplice—surely that's evidence of a father-and-son murder duo.
Dear's own undoing might be his complete obsession with the "evidence" he's clung to forever. He says he wants Mohandie and Levasseur to speak up if they have doubts (if he is proven wrong, Dear says, he will apologize publicly), but when they do, Dear often doubles-down on what he already believes. It feels less investigation and more personal obsession—"This is a note that I pulled out of [Jason's] trash in 2000," he deadpans at one point—especially when he reveals that he's hired a private investigator to follow Jason around, and shows us the tapes. The Missing Evidence is both ballsy and incredibly stupid: It takes gall to go full-speed ahead with a televised theory like this, and it might result in a lawsuit akin to Burke Ramsey suing CBS. (Each episode begins with a Martin Sheen–delivered disclaimer that these opinions "represent just some of the many conceivable scenarios" and "we encourage viewers to reach their own conclusions.")
It's highly unlikely that The Missing Evidence will drop a major bombshell and solve the case tonight, nor will Dear concede that he's wrong. Instead, it will likely play out like most docuseries of this kind: ending on a question and ultimately adding nothing, which is less of a reflection of the case and more of the audience. While watching the episodes, it's so tempting to believe in what's being told to us even if those beliefs disappear when the credits roll. The Missing Evidence works well enough to change our minds for just a few minutes, but it's quickly clear that it's not so much indisputable facts and hard evidence, but instead the compelling, authoritative nature of television that's more convincing.
Summer Zervos—the former Apprentice contestant who accused President-elect Trump of sexual assault last October—has filed a suit against Trump for defamation after he denied the claim and said she and the women who came forward with similar stories were "liars."
Zervos announced the lawsuit at a press conference Tuesday alongside her lawyer, civil rights attorney Gloria Allred, who previously appeared with Zervos when she came forward about the alleged assault last fall.
"[Zervos] came forward—as a number of other Mr. Trump victims did—to inform the public of the facts she knew were true, to make clear that Donald Trump had kissed and groped her without her consent, repeatedly," the lawsuit states. "And what did Donald Trump, the liar and misogynist do, to cover up his lies? He lied again, and debased and denigrated Ms. Zervos with false statements about her."
Trump previously threatened to sue the numerous women who came forward with stories of inappropriate sexual comments and contact during the lead up to the 2016 election. Now, Zervos's suit will call on the soon-to-be-president to either admit her story is true and apologize, or head to court to defend his claim that Zervos is a "phony."
